Post your Brag/Beats for your sex life

[ipot]

it really makes my day when i check my facebook and see that 2 girls that i've had sex with tagged pics with both of them in it.

[cwes]

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it really makes my day when i check my facebook and see that 2 girls that i've had sex with tagged pics with both of them in it.

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Oh, hi. Look, I bettered your avatar:

[Gone Forever]

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it really makes my day when i check my facebook and see that 2 girls that i've had sex with tagged pics with both of them in it.

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Oh, hi. Look, I bettered your avatar:

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Liar... It's still got Paris Hilton in it.

[Gone Forever]

This girl I used to bang calls me one night and says she's having a party at her new apartment. (This girl is recently married, BUT, at the time her husband is in jail. I don't know what for, didn't ask, didn't care.)

So I get directions & go over there. This "party" is like 6 chicks, a white guy about my age who leaves within 45 minutes of me getting there, and two older black men.

For ease of this story, I'll refer to this girl as Girl1.

Girl1 is pretty much going crazy the whole time. Not like a "hey I'm wasted" crazy, but like a hyper girls-gone-wild crazy.

She's constantly going up to the other girls and making them pull their [censored] out, making out with them, grabbing me and another girl (Girl2) and making out with both of us at the same time. 20 minutes later Girl1 grabs me and yet another girl (Girl3) and does the same thing.

I feel like the biggest pimp at this point because the two other guys at this party are getting no attention what-so-ever. They end up leaving shortly after Girl1 starts giving me lap dances on her & her husbands' couch.

Roughly an hour or so after this the majority of the party leaves. Leaving only me, Girl1, & Girl2.

I get up to go to the bathroom and I over-hear Girl2 saying how I look just like her boyfriend. Lol. What is it with these chicks?? Husbands, boyfriends. Who gives a [censored]!

I come out and Girl1 says that Girl2 needs cigarettes and she needs something to drink. I drive everybody up to the gas station and run inside to get everything.

When I come out they're both talking and shut up as soon as I get in the car. I ask what they were talkin about and Girl1 says "Nothing" with a [censored]-eating-grin on her face.

We get back to the apartment, chillin on the couch. Girl1 disappears and comes out of her room with a porno mag. We're looking through this mag and one of the porn chicks has a pierced [censored].

Girl1 turns to Girl2, who at this point is sitting on the floor by my right knee, and says:

Girl1: "You know, Gone Forever has his dick pierced."
Girl2: "Reeaallly??!"
Me: "That's right."
Girl1: "Why don't you show her?"

I turn to Girl1 and say:

Me: "Why don't YOU show her?"
Girl1: "Okay."

She undoes my belt, unzips me, and whips it out.

Girl2's eyes light up. "Oh, wow!"

Next thing I know, Girl1 starts blowin me right in front of Girl2!! Girl2 seems amazed by this but has no intentions of leaving. Girl1 stops, points me at Girl2 and says "Here, you try."

Girl2 doesn't miss a beat and for the next 10 minutes they're passin me back and forth.

It was the single most awesome moment in my sexual career so far.

I end up driving Girl2 back home. Girl1 came with us so I would have to take her back to her place too. When we got back to Girl1's place she invites me up.

I end up bangin her and then going home. Her husband is out of jail now. She still calls me.

What it do?!

[Ballzack]

Brag: I've sexed three different women in three different states in a 24 hour period.

Brag: I've slept with a mother and her daughter, seperately.

Varience: The mother was my Physics teacher. I only got a B. I guess I sucked.

Variance: The mom was better than the daughter.

Beat: Only crabs once.

[MtSmalls]

Beat: I was 18 and in college before losing my virginity.

Brag: Have had several threesome/group bangs (with current wife)

Variance: On hold while the bun is in oven

[People_Mover]

Brag: Sexed it up with 3 different women over 40 at age 22.

Variance: Flew to Amsterdam to meet my high school sweetheart and sexed her for 9 days before going home never to speak again. Here's her pic for BBV4LIFE.


Beat: Getting married next month.

[Gone Forever]

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Variance: On hold while the bun is in oven

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Are you sure the baby is hers?

[MasterLJ]

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Beat: I'm 24 and I have never busted a nut

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Holy crap that's terrible.

Variance: I don't really like 'em to be honest, most chicks are terrible. Keep lookin', you'll find one that'll be decent.

What sucks is that once a chick reaches a certain age, giving her direction on what you like is insulting.

[ipot]

i'm a sex animal when i'm high