Girlfriend of 2 years dumps me... what to do?

[traz]

I read the first quarter of that convo, and I couldn't read anymore. I feel sorry for you, and the worst thing is, you're going to get eaten up on OOT because you're on the way to learning things the hard way

[ken_AA_wifey]

Okay, as a chick, let me tell you this. She probably gets a kick out of stringing you along and feeling like she has power over you. It makes her feel important. I know you don't want to hear about how you're YOUNG, but here's the thing: high school relationships almost never transfer successfully to college.

Frankly, it's all way too much drama and you shouldn't put up with it.

[EricW]

I just read more of that AIM exchange and I feel like I want to puke. OP seems like he's trying to make his life into this:

[Dominic]

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All/OP

It's really weird reading posts where essentially it comes down to girl guy is crazy about doesnt have the same level of interest.

I remember going through it (some may remember my posts) I hought my situation was completely unique, that the girl must be confused, playing games and that I only needed to crack the secret code and her heart would be fine forever.

What a load of crap. Now I see these situations and I realize they are all the same and all boil down to the girl not having a lasting high interest and once it gets to that point there is nothing the guy can do but make the situation worse.

OP - by sitting around, pining away for her, having AIM conversations you are giving her power over you. You are telling her, you will be there waiting, exactly the same, while she is free and happy to pursue other options.

The best thing you can do is say ok well, I'm sorry you feel this but I'm going to a movie/play golf/bar. Ill give you a call in a few days. and then don't. You don't think that if she really wants to be with you, she will call at some point? and if she doesn't well there's your answer

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as much as i hate to give [censored] credit, this is absolutely the best advice and post in this whole thread.

[Suigin406]

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That is totally out of line. Can a mod please delete SoCals post.

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I didn't post it. I quoted it.

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beatz, i don't see y u are getting so upset...u post in OOT, be prepared for all kinds of answers...also, like a few people said, u are getting good advice from several people. Even though it might not be what u want to hear, it's still good.

The only way for u learn is maybe the hard way and while it prolly will suck, it should hopefully teach u a lesson. while ur GF said she's excited about getting back together, it just seems like a never ending cycle, but i wish u the best of luck with this anyway...

[talentdeficit]

i actually read some of that, and she is clearly not interested in you. she's just too nice to tell you that flat out. dude, move on.

(and be less needy next time)

[madbeetz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
All/OP

It's really weird reading posts where essentially it comes down to girl guy is crazy about doesnt have the same level of interest.

I remember going through it (some may remember my posts) I hought my situation was completely unique, that the girl must be confused, playing games and that I only needed to crack the secret code and her heart would be fine forever.

What a load of crap. Now I see these situations and I realize they are all the same and all boil down to the girl not having a lasting high interest and once it gets to that point there is nothing the guy can do but make the situation worse.

OP - by sitting around, pining away for her, having AIM conversations you are giving her power over you. You are telling her, you will be there waiting, exactly the same, while she is free and happy to pursue other options.

The best thing you can do is say ok well, I'm sorry you feel this but I'm going to a movie/play golf/bar. Ill give you a call in a few days. and then don't. You don't think that if she really wants to be with you, she will call at some point? and if she doesn't well there's your answer

[/ QUOTE ]

as much as i hate to give [censored] credit, this is absolutely the best advice and post in this whole thread.

[/ QUOTE ]
fwiw, i agree. this is great advice, and advice I will take up. I am actually going home for a long weekend. I am not going to call her at all. Question is, what if she calls me?

[talentdeficit]

if she calls you, you tell her you'd love to talk, but you were just about to go do something (make something up, but make sure it sounds reasonably fun and interesting). tell her you'll talk to her later. don't call back.

[pkr2k5]

wasn't going to post here but the AIM conversation did it in.

OP -- Please stop talking to this girl for a week or two. It will be REALLY HARD but it will give you perspective and show you that though you feel [censored], the world is not over and you will get on with your life.

Also, if you don't want to see it from your own point of view, think about it in terms of getting back together with her. That conversation (the bit I read of it) was honestly pathetic.

You:

1) accused her of being bipolar
2) this speaks for itself:
me (12:48:27 PM): i dont want to get back together at this time at all
then...
me (12:50:00 PM): if we do get back together(and I am pretty sure I want to), i want to know for sure thats what you want, and what you need


3) you're really throwing yourself out to her when you shouldn't be.
eg -- me (1:15:22 PM): what are the guidelines for this seperation
me (1:15:30 PM): id like to still talk to you from time to time
me (1:15:34 PM): i love talking to you
girlfriend (1:15:43 PM): i dont mind
me (1:15:44 PM): like, especially before bed
girlfriend (1:15:51 PM): i just dont want to make it mushy
girlfriend (1:15:55 PM): itll make it real hard for me
me (1:15:58 PM): yeah
me (1:16:04 PM): so no more i love you,muaH

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She is taking this 100x better than you. Obviously she seems to be upset, but she knows what she wants. Respect that, if you keep your [censored] up it will turn into the creepy ex-bf who stalks her. I know it does not feel like it, but there WILL BE OTHER GIRLS.


I'm sure you are good for each other, and could work something out. HOWEVER, if you want to have any sort of sanity for the next few months, until she "DECIDES", then leave her the hell alone. DO NOT CALL HER, I KNOW YOU WANT TO BUT DO NOT DO IT. READ THESE POSTS EVERY TIME YOU WANT TO CALL HER. DO NOT SEE HER. I hope you have a good social connection because you're gonna need some shoulder's to cry on.

NOT ONLY WILL YOU FEEL BETTER IN THE LONG RUN IF YOU LEAVE HER ALONE (YOU MIGHT EVEN REALIZE YOU DO NOT NEED HER AS MUCH AS YOU THINK, OR AT ALL), BUT THIS WILL ALSO HELP HER FIGURE OUT HER FEELINGS (WITHOUT YOUR ANNOYING ASS NAGGING HER 24/7), which will inturn allow her to communicate those to you (when SHE IS READY), and either you will get back together or end it more permanently.

Last note, if she chooses to end it permanently, let her know you're hurt, but then take that [censored] like a man. You will appreciate not being a huge flobbering pussy 1-2 years down the road.


ugh so many things wrong with this situation i'm having trouble discussing it

[Case Closed]

Did you post her screen name? Bad call anyone?