Girlfriend of 2 years dumps me... what to do?

[madbeetz]

Heres the situation. I was dating my girlfriend for 2 years. We have had small minor breakups before(on her part) due to her not being sure about our relationship. In the past, these breakups lasted a few days at most(possibly because of guilt etc?) and then we got back together. In retrospect, I dont think she had enough time to really decide. Now, we have broken up again, and this time its really scary. It might be for good, and this time it is more serious than ever.
Our relationship as a whole has been nothing short of incredible. She is beautiful, amazing personality, everything has always been amazing. We were always the couple every other couple envied. We were best friends. There are times when we argue, and when we dont treat each other right, but what couple doesnt have problems. We usually talk it out, and everything is gravy.

The past breakups were due to sudden changes in environment. Our first breakup was during the time of college selection time(my most stressful part of my senior year in h.s.). She was overwhelmed and wasnt sure she wanted a boyfriend. I came home for the weekend, we met up, and she couldnt deal with it, we got back together.

The second breakup was when I came home after my first year at college. She was not used to seeing me every day, and it may have been overwhelming for her. We ended up getting back together the same night we broke up, although things were a bit akward still. We did end up working through it. The rest of the summer was amazing.

Now, she just started college about a month ago. We lived together for about 3 weeks before she started school(because I was already down here at school), and things were amazing. Our relationship reached new levels. We talked about getting a place together, and even marriage(not totally seriously, but there was talk of our future). Everything was amazing, and to be honest, I was very skeptical of her moving in with me in the first place
. Now, she had started school, and has been there for a month. I completely trust her, but thing really have gotten weird lately.

Our sexual relationship has been off and on. She at times wants nothing to do with any sexual activity. And then there are times where she is unsatisfied if we dont have sex 2 or so times a day(this usually lasts for a week or so, and occurred when we were living together here). Now, the past 2 weeks, she hasnt wanted to do anything sexual. This led up to the break up. She says she is unsure about if she likes me like that.

I am really not sure what to do. I am devastated. I called her last night(even though I shouldnt have), and we talked a bit. She was clearly very upset about this too. There was a glimmer of hope when she said right now it looks like she wants to get back together. I told her she really needs to take her time, and she told me flat out that I need to give her time. She said she didnt want to tell me that we might get back together because she doesnt want to get my hopes up. However, when we broke up, I told her if we do, I am done with it, I cant take this anymore. She pleaded with me to answer her call if she decides she does need me and want to be with me. She said tis unfair to both of us if this [censored] keeps happening. She said she needs to make sure she absolutely positively wants this.

I am a complete wreck right now. I was trying to find reasons to be happy and forget about her, but I always end up breaking down. I kept telling myself ill leave, go tour europe, go visit all my poker friends around the country, etc. I kept telling myself nothing was holding me back. Now, today after sleeping on it, I realized I dont want that unless she is with me. This is the girl I want to marry. I am 100% certain she is the one. She said she needs to take all the time she needs to make sure she feels the same.

Sorry this was so long... what do I do?
Do i take her back if she does want back? Do you think if I give her time and she comes back to me, it will be for good? If she does, should I talk to her about getting engaged(obviously wont get married until after school, but to sort of set our relationship in stone so to speak).

Do I not take her back? Just try to move on with my life?

FWIW, I do have major depression problems, as well as anxiety problems around people. This did not really effect our relationship though.

[Colonel Kataffy]

dude, go find a better girl. given your description, it shouldn't be hard.

[TiK]

[ QUOTE ]
dude, go find a better girl. given your description, it shouldn't be hard.

[/ QUOTE ]

There're lots of girls out there and you're still young.

[guids]

Im not goign to give you my normal answer of hookers and blow, becuase as a dork at heart, I like your avatar.


Basically, time heals all, you just need get through the next few months and try to make things as easy as possible, do something to keep your mind occupied but that isnt bad for your health/sanity (ie school, making money). think about things in the big scheme of things, there have been billions and billions of people who have gone through the same thing as you, and they all get passed it, 1 relationship is very very very insignificant.

[Hopey]

Even if you manage to get back together, the long-term prospects of your relationship are not good. This is the third time that she has broken up with you.

She's not into you as much as you are into her. The sooner you realize this, the better.

[Colonel Kataffy]

[ QUOTE ]
Even if you manage to get back together, the long-term prospects of your relationship are not good. This is the third time that she has broken up with you.

She's not into you as much as you are into her. The sooner you realize this, the better.

[/ QUOTE ]

also, realize that your probably in to her because she jerks you around. I she was gushy all the time and hounding you, you'd be sick of her and would be dying break up with her.

[madbeetz]

[ QUOTE ]
dude, go find a better girl. given your description, it shouldn't be hard.

[/ QUOTE ]

my description? she is way too good for me I think...

[rothko]

just to clarify: she dumped you saying she's not sure and needs time to think about it? if that's the case it means one thing: she's sure she doesn't want to be with you. sounds like you need to move on. as much as it hurts, it'll be the least painful in the long run.

we really don't know much about the situation, so it's hard for anyone to comment. just don't compromise yourself. if this girl is going to keep rag-dolling you, it's not worth it.

[curtis012]

Getting engaged won't make it better.

[DrewDevil]

If you start banging a different girl, your old GF will do anything to get you back... including banging you while you're still banging new girl.

This will work wonders for your state of mind.