|
|
#11
09-13-2006, 12:27 PM
|
|||
|
|||
Re: AC 9/8-9/9--the Heater of My Life
Sunday Morning: 2am. Time for bIg bUcKs nO WaMMiEz.
This is gonna be fuzzily recollected because I drank many many Vodka cranberries throughout the action… I try to find that woman I know but she has wisely hidden somewhere in a 10-20 limit game. So I wander around trying to find a low limit Texas hold’em tablegame with a pretty girl to talk to. I find one and sit down, but immediately realize she’s somehow together with this fat bald middle aged guy sitting between us. Is she a call girl? She’s more “cute” than beautiful, but she’s got a really sweet smile and laugh, and her chubby boobs are spilling out of her tubetop. Why is this decrepit old guy rubbing her arm? Still, we begin chatting about the game over his shiny little head. I have no idea how to play, and the dealer is this horrific loud and drunk toothless woman with a voice like a calving steer, so I keep asking her for tips as if the fat guy doesn’t exist. He doesn’t seem to mind. But then when we both win a hand and she says “We got some good Feng Shui over here…” I make fun of her because I think she doesn’t know what that is… “I doo not theenk that means what yoo theenk it means…haha” I say, with my best Inigo Montoya voice. She gets pissed and gives me a lecture about Feng Shui and Chinese culture. Booooooooo me. Texasholdempokertablegame: Works like this: You ante, get cards, pay double to see a flop. See every flop, because sheeeit, did you come here fold? Also, make sure to put 5 on the bonus (though it’s a huge sucker bet, so don’t press it). AJ is the nuts in this game, so bet any pair or draw to the river. Then the dealer turns over 9 high and you win. I’m not sure how the casino makes money at this, because I won every hand for an hour. The fat guy was really bad at it and busto’d (4 high no good loser!), and went to play craps. Awright. How YOU doin? She’s still friendly, but she sucks at THPTG too and keeps threatening to go to roulette…maybe I should give her some money? Er, nah. I just want to talk to pretty girls, not pay them for sex…I’m not single yet, nor am I mentally stable enough to handle the rejection if she’s not a hooker…She eventually leaves, though not before giving the floorman her phone number (seriously what is going on with this chick?)… I see her much later at the roulette table and say Hi… she gives me the eye, I think, but maybe it’s the “Go Away Creepy Guy and Take Your Ugly Tie With You Gosh” look. I can’t take the obnoxious dealer anymore so I quit, +200. Wandering around looking at the insanity…there’s two sorority chicks stumbling around grabbing pairs of meathead guidos and screaming “Where’s YOU going huh?” It’s so repulsive that the dudes can’t even handle it and back out before being lured into whatever the girls want, more likely breakfast than sex. Here’s a bachelorette party in a loose heap on the floor, all looking miserable, the bride with her mini-veil and red-face post-barf. How YOU doin? Not good she says… This other drunk chick is smoking and I am out. I ask for a cigarette and she tries to get me to play at the 100 minimum blackjack next to her. Que? Why? “Gamble here and I’ll give you one,” she slurs. She’s in her late 30s, not bad, but kind of scary…OK, I only have blacks, screw it, 100 down blackjack me baby! The two well-dressed dudes at the table look beaten down, “This isn’t where you want to be doing that kid…this table is freezing cold…” Oh dear…I get a queen, sweet…aceaceaceaceaceaceace…It’s a four. Dealer shows 9. F—k! The other guys have 19 and 20. Ummm, ok HIT! It’s a…a…Ace. Crapola! Ok…um…HIT! BANG! three. DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE! Stay. Dealer show…OOOH 15 hit plz BUST! YESSS! ROBUSTO! APPLESAUCE! The gamblers think it’s hilarious I’m excited about a 100$ win but that’s the most I’ve ever bet on a -EV single occasion event. So this is going to be a delicious cigarette…WTF MENTHOL GROSS. Bad beat. I find a 15 minimum BJ table that’s filled with hot chicks but there’s no seats open. So I sit at the next table where some old nit just got up. I give the young college dudes there a round of highfives to get us started right…They seem happy to see me, since the old nit was yelling at them for using a grimy sheet of loose-leaf paper to make basic strategy decisions. They’ve been losing bad, one guy has only 50 bucks left then he’s going home (he says). Me: “Let’s just see about that!” First hand: BOOYA dealer bust let’s rock! Once again suddenly I can’t lose and neither can the other players…I’m not pressing because I’m a wuss, but the $50 guy suddenly has $400. I am making expert plays like doubling down with 10 against a dealer 9. LOL SHIPITHOLLAMINTS. It’s great when nobody knows proper strategy so they can’t bitch at you for doing dumb sh-t like that. The dealers love me because I’m tipping like every hand…they always pop it above my bet so they can win more monie$...they can see I’m a pro. This young Asian fellow joins us and is hilarious. I lose for once and go “Aiyah!” He looks over at me, “Ah you know Chinese?” “I only know one other word, ‘Gambool!’” He elects to laugh at me rather than kick me in the nuts. I bum a smoke and he tells me some crazy story about how he came up several days ago with a buddy to play poker and gamble from the Jersey shore. While playing Paigow (at which he inexplicably won 500 dollars) he met a hot older woman who invited him back to her room. He makes his buddy drive back to the shore drunk while he bangs this chick, who is on some crazy winning streak and living in the hotel. Then he takes a $200 cab right back home, gets his car and comes back to AC to shack up with the cougar and leech off her winnings. They’ve been partying for like 3 days straight. Ah to be young again… Finally reality catches up and I start losing a little. When I get to exactly +300 I quit… More blurry stuff happens, I wander around and talk to more people yadda yadda…somehow I end up at the LAST 2-4 table open in the poker room, because I see this crazy little Puerto Rican dude I met the night before at 4-8 at the Trop and because there are 3 bonefide pretty girls at the table, one older Jamaican woman and two young Asian girls. They all have boyfriends playing “high stakes” (5-10 nl and 10-20 limit I think) but the Puerto Rican kid and I keep trying to flirt with them anyway. I buy in for 100 and raise every hand blind. The usual merriment occurs: some people just leave, other beg me to limp blind instead, other call down and then fold the river, one guy refuses to believe I didn’t look, the dealers’ eyes grow bigger than pasta plates when I tip them the redbirds out of the pots I win…and I win more than a few pots…One time the flop’s 229…I bet out still blind (“That’s GOT to be good for my hand right?”) and get called in two spots and raised from the BTN. I say I have to look now and peek…lol 23x. I reraise…saying, “OK I looked!” The Jamaican woman calls and the btn frowns and calls. Turn blank I bet saying again: “I DID LOOK PEOPLE, GEEZ.” Callcall. River blank I bet again almost begging them to fold. Nope…A9 for the button and d’oh 44 for the chick. Baby, please, what are you thinking? She’s pissed too. I feel bad for the PR kid since he’s playing for real (though terribly) and sitting to my right, so he’s getting crushed… I keep trying to get him to switch seats with me but he doesn’t understand why it would be advantageous. Perhaps I don’t explain myself very well…I had to put my sunglasses back on to be able to see one flop. Then he’s in the sb and I’m in the BB, MP limps and I say, “Hey you want to play this one blind?” “Ok,” he says, raising, I three pop, MP folds as the floor is coming over… “What’s going on here guys?” he says…no big deal, dude. We cap the flop and turn and he’s all in. Board: K748A… SHOWDOWN TIME. I flip over: K. OOOh, that’s bad for him. He flips: 4. No good, my other card: 7. Aiayah. He’s screwed, sorry bro…GG, unless he’s got an…ACE HAHA Pay the man his money! I’ve never been so happy to lose a hand. The floor is not amused. “I have no idea how many rules you just broke in that hand…” I tip the dealer for not pushing me the pot and the dealer shoot his boss a dry look like, “GTFOutta here please.” Good times. Somehow I’m even at the game, so I cash out at dawn and improbably keep it together long enough to get back to Harrahs without getting mugged or finding any hookers/blow. The next day I just drive back home, cuz I don’t want to ruin a perfect experience. I drove over the bridge out of town bleary and triumphant, with a lump of hundreds stuffed into my jacket pocket like a six-gun. Sometimes the person telling you not to gamble is not who you’d expect…I’m glad I did it, but I can really see how winning affects your thinking about the process. I started to feel I deserved to win, that it was inevitable. Once you get a taste of this rush, it’s hard to believe that it won’t happen more than it should. I’ll try to stick with +EV games as much as I can from now on…unless the cranberries get to flowin’…well, we’ll see. 
|
|
#16
09-13-2006, 05:12 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: AC 9/8-9/9--the Heater of My Life
[ QUOTE ]
has to be one of the BEST and most entertaining trip reports I have EVER read !!! EXCELLENT !!! [/ QUOTE ] Agreed. And for that, I will forgive the mild collusion on the blind hand. -McGee
|
|
#18
09-13-2006, 06:39 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: AC 9/8-9/9--the Heater of My Life
awesome TR buddy
how much did you end up overall? and who is the chick from the md game?
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
