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#1
09-12-2006, 02:05 PM
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AC 9/8-9/9--the Heater of My Life
Friday:
I leave work and drive up the pipe. Traffic is ugly and I get lost in NJ as usual. My new policy will be to take 295 to 168 and bust a U-turn. I can NEVER get the NJT details right and I hate it. Still make it to the Trop by 8. Sit in the 4/8 make it to the 7.5/15 by 9. Ggogogogo… Table is OK. No rocks and few gambooler. Mostly loose passive though, not a psychofest, but at least my Sup Bro gets no reply. BUT: I start out playing bad, limping J8s from MP and stuff. I 3pop a maniac in a big pot with TPNK from the blind and he calls me down with AQ. Gay. (Not in a good way). Then I start playing good but go card/flopdead. AA lelaise, 4 caller. Q high flop, cap against this Russian dude with a sweet-faced American chick sweating him, one lp-donk along for the ride. Turn Q. Ugh. Checked to me. Uh, check. River blank. He bets, LP calls, (bottom pair lol) I call and he screams “SHEEP IT!” Q9= teh nutz. I glare at him for a while until he says, “Soory I am dronk…” (he’s not.) B000000000. I somehow don’t tilt, but then I go bust. I switch seats to the left of the maniac. He leaves. Another maniac sits on my left. WTF Boo. I bust. -700. I can’t take it anymore, but its only 3am. I want to stay up until 6 to get my full comps and a free breakfast before I crash in my car…plus it’s too scary to sleep in a parking garage in the dark… muggers=vampires. So what else is a poor boy to do…Vodka+Cranberry+BLACKJACK HERE I COME BABY! Basic strategy is somewhat elusive for me, and this is only the 3rd time I’ve played BJ in a casino, so I need to find the wildest drunkest table full of morons that I can so that fit in. I do. The rest is blurry. There’s a bunch of guys from MA in town for a Fantasy Football Draft (Huh?) They just sat down at a 15 minimum table. The dealer is this middle aged Asian woman named Phoon, I think. Every 3 minutes one d00d asks her how to pronounce it. She miraculously does not stab him. Another dude keeps asking her out on dates. There is a lot of “punching it in…” –this has to be good for the game. I keep my self from splitting tens and somehow turn 100-->300 betting the minimum and only pressing blackjack. The table is on fire. My lips turn bright red from all the cranberries. (cbs>blueberries, for rizzle) The things that people shout when they gamble for real are bizarre. One dude kept screaming “MONKEYBALLS!” repeatedly whenever the dealer would bust. I found myself hollering “APPLESAUCE!” and “CHOCOLATE ICECREAM!!!” sometimes and looking around wildly at the other patrons as if their admiration was necessary for my feats of pure luck to feel real. Suddenly I lose a few in a row. I count out my winnings and gamble with the spare chips. I lose that and get up. I’ve got to book a small comeback tonight, just for the positive energy. I eat a Spanish omelet at the Café—this is not as good as it sound on the menu, but whatever. I pass out in the booth a few times and either overtip or stiff the waitress on the bill entirely. Back to the car, the sun’s up over the stinky ocean shining in my windshield as I go to sleep. Next (in a few minutes): Saturday Morning: Commence HOT FIRE 
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#2
09-12-2006, 02:27 PM
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Re: AC 9/8-9/9--the Heater of My Life
Saturday:
I wake up at 10:45. Decent amount of sleep in the hot car, but my body feels like it’s been repeatedly kicked, my ego too after the analraping at the Pink Chip. I brush my teeth and piss in a Gatorade bottle. I don my Tuffish shirt and weave off to the Taj for the 12pm tourney. I always listen to Coltrane’s Blue Train when driving around AC…it somehow gives the squalor pathos. My brother calls me on the drive over…he sounds both awed and concerned that I just woke up in a parking garage in Jersey… BUT WAIT: When did the Taj start having tourneys at 10:15? This sucks, I wanted to ease back into the grind before playing cash games. Hopefully there’s a 3/6 or 5/10 O8 going…nope too early. Well, OK, 1/2 NL it is… I join a brand new game. Buy in for 200. Some weak tighites, some loose passives, one lag. No big stacks so it’s easy to run over for a while. Then: Bunch of limpers, I make it 25 out of the small blind (I’m up to ~250). 3 callers, including the EP lag. UHoh. Flop 955, 2 hearts. I bet 60, lag calls. Well, I’ve been raising and cbing a lot, so, stackadonk time for one of us. Turn: T. I check, he bets 60. I smell weakness, but he calls my ai, saying “I know you have pocket nines, but I just can’t fold.” Oops. KK vs J5. I am unconcerned and when the K rolls off on the river I just clap my hands drop to my knees and waggle my outstreached arms like the waves of the surf while making a WHOOOOOOSHing noise with my still-red mouth. The sweet-whoosh of the suckout. Then I put on a fkin clinic. I’m check-raising my draws at the right time…cbetting every flop, raising every other hand…when they finally do re-pop me I’ve got the goods. I never get it all in again, and get my stack up to 900. One guy still owes me his firstborn son…at one point I go smoke and pop a 10 into a .25 slot machine, first spin, bet max, *ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding*ding! +50$. I should go pro at slots, my ROI is sick so far. One hand I play very bad: QQ, raise to 12 in MP. Loose passive but OK guy calls on BTN. Flop Ks4s7d. I bet 25, he makes it 75. I call. He’s got ~150 left. Turn blank check check. River 7 spades, he bets 100? I…call? Ew. He has AQs obv. So many mistakes on one hand. Rethinking, I think the call on the flop was OK. I was pretty sure he was on spades, given some psychical stuff and the fact that I was uber-Lagging it. The check on the turn was OK, but a push would have been better. But once he checked behind that river is the easiest fold of all time. I can’t even beat an A7 bluff. Oh well. I win that back by scooping every other pot cbetting crap on the flop. Pokah is EZ. At 4 I get the Philly cheesesteak which is smoking good as always. When I get back to the table, some tougher players have shown up and started raising preflop. B()()()(). This is _my_ ATM yo. I cash out (+700 yayayayay, even, booyah!) and head over to Harrahs. This was a last minute trip so I’m really getting milked for the room (300$ aiyah!). I’ve never been to the AC harrahs, it’s out by the Borg and was pretty decent looking. The poker room seemed nice, and they have a BBJ if you love getting raked, but it was hidden away and the brush was really confused about which games were running and the board software kept flashing the BBJ amount rather than what limits they had so that was annoying. I didn’t play, just headed up to my large swanky 14th floor room whose giant window overlooked the bridge out of town. I watched the speedboats for a while and the cars streaming into the city and then popped on the TV and tried to disco-nap. Rushmore was on TBS or something…godamn that’s a fine movie. Just the look on Bill M’s face when he lights two cigarettes at once, drunk in a hospital elevator, is enough to make me burst out laughing/crying. I can’t sleep and I find myself thinking too much. That last scene in the movie is so beautiful, all the characters spinning around dancing, but the meaning is ambiguous. Will Max ruin his life again chasing after the teacher? He seems to still be obsessed with her…it’s a bittersweet emotion, learning to accept that your character is your destiny. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the loneliness, time for more gamboling. I get up, take a 25 minute shower and put on my “Ridiculous Gambler” outfit. NEXT: Let’s Take a Shot…at a 2-outer!
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#4
09-12-2006, 03:38 PM
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Re: AC 9/8-9/9--the Heater of My Life
Saturday Night:
My Ridiculous Gambler outfit is a new thing I’ve always wanted to try. It’s based on TT’s concept that you should dress really nicely to feel confident and seem rich. This is +EV. Unfortunately I am not rich and have no fashion sense. So instead I put on some black pants, my best dress shoes, a nice dark blue thick cotton shirt and a garish wide red polyester tie and my huge Raybans. I’m not sure what I look like, but it is probably goofy. I’ve never really worn sunglasses in a casino before, and I hate it when people do. Perhaps this will be to my advantage? Who cares, it makes me feel awesome, like a cartoon character...so let’s do it! I take a cab to the Borgota which is very close. Probably could have walked but that’s not baller. Hit the new poker room around 7 and there is ZERO wait for a 1/2 table. It seems like lots of tables have open seating. An aberration or a sign of good things to come? I play a few hands and say “fkit lets move up”…I get on a list for 2/5 right as they open a new table. Buy in for 300. Table looks pretty good, includes: Good somewhat laggy player to my left (buuu), his passive dad, a shortstacking pushdonk with no legs and massive burns all over his body (really nice guy, despite getting stacked [after bad beating the crap out of me] over and over), a badass lesbian, and the worst asian gabooler I have ever met. Seriously. Wowiwowow he was bad. He would call down with whatever, BUT, if he thought he was beat (having third pair or a missed draw), he’d re-raise the river EVERY TIME. He’d never fold or call, and he’d always call with a decent hand. Then if they’d fold, he’d show. By the time the night was over I’d call his reraise with T2x on a K275Q 2spade board and win (he turned a gut shot). And he never figured out why he started getting called. He was flopping the hell out of people tho’, and so he built up to ~1200. Anyway, it starts out pretty slow. I get it in with the burned guy twice way ahead and he catches up but he’s always short, so I’m down a total 200 pretty soon. I’m playing tag-ish but nobody notices. I’m in for 600 and hovering around 500, and I’ve decided to move down if I lose 7. Then: this: Asianguy (EP) makes it 10 to go as is his wont. Pops makes it 60 on the BTN and I peek at biracial QQ in the SB. I make it 210 and Asian guy calls. He probably has a strong hand, but he wouldn’t play AA or KK this way surely…I’m guessing AK-AQ or 99, hell even like JT gambool. Pops pushes for another 150. Crap, well I can’t fold, hopefully I can win a side pot ARRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEN. AG calls: Shows AKx Hooray! Pops has KK—Boooo. Still as all BBVers know: pair vs pair: it’s just fifty-fifty baby! (AK was ahead). I won’t say that I didn’t react AT ALL when the sexiest fkin queen ever rolled off on the river, but…I was pretty cool about it and I felt bad for the older guy who was very friendly. I leapt up and made some kind of YIKES sound, but I quickly sat down again and raked in the biggest pot I have ever had in my hands. Oh so good. Cash out! Just kidding…now its time for loldeepstackaments…after a celebratory smoke. A word about the view: We were sitting right next to the high-limit room in the far corner of the place, by the bathrooms. So we had the perfect railbirding opportunity. The main reason to stand up and peer over at the rich kids was actually the insane surfeit of hot chicks. I’ve (accidentally) been to some hotspots: The Venetian at a porn convention, NYC during Fashion Week, Capitol Hill in DC during rushhour…and I have to say that this was by far the biggest and most steady stream of eye candy I’ve ever encountered. Every where my eyes would alight, Bang, another natural goddess. I stood out by the tables smoking and just let the drunk wave of beauty wash around me, Asian women, Hispanic women, cutesy indierock jewish women, and O the Italian women with their smoky black eyes. Wonderful. On one break I saw a woman I know from Maryland home games playing the Texas holdem table game…but when I went to say Hi she didn’t recognize me due to the Ridiculous Gambler outfit. Whoops. There are drawbacks to the plan, I see that now. Still, she taught me how to play that silly game, and I vowed to return… When I got back to the table, they were all buzzing about Jon Robert Bellande sitting right next to us at 5-10 nl. Apparently he was bust and had just borrowed a stake from the Takeover (or somebody) in the high limit room. Poor guy. He seems like a decent guy (from his Live at The Bike appearance) and it seems cruel the way his BUSTOness is public record. Later a nitty guy moved over from 5-10 gloating that he busted JRB. I guess that’s fine, but it seemed a little heartless….one of the (many) reasons I couldn’t be a pro is that I have no taste for taking someone’s last dollar if they’re on tilt. I may do it, I suppose, but only if I have to. I couldn’t feel proud of it, I don’t think, even if I thought they were a jerk. Back to pokering. I start playing my favorite game, smallball…including the old check call the crazy Asian lag guy OOP, bet out a blocking bet on the river and when he raises, call with second pair. HOHO SHEEP IT. I’m in the zone. My stack creeps higher and higher…1800, 1900, 2k ship it holla! Then: I have, again, QQ in LP, many limpers, I raise to 30, good lag calls on the BTN (he covers), many other callers. Flop KhQh4x. Hmmm. I pot it, hoping to get checkraised by a big draw/king. BTN calls all other fold. Hmmm. Turn blank. Ummm. I…pot it? He peeks at his cards and folds, shows AQ, saying “Damn I thought that 4 was an A! You must have KQ…” I should have check-raised, he surely would have raised a pair+flushdraw/OESD or (whatever I was scared of) on the flop. I hate playing against other big stacks when I’m deep, and I played that like a wuss. Oh well. A few hands later I stack a guy who over plays top pair against my AA (cardrackshipit!) and I go up some more…2500…it’s getting late…I’m taking a shot…eek. I get chicken and decide to cash out. The game is surely still good but I just want to take my ball back to 1/2. But it’s only 2am…what to do with the rest of my night? Thinkthink…Take a drink? Vodka+Cranberry+Gamboooool! Letusgogogogo… Next one: The Heater of Heaters comes to a startling conclusion!
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#6
09-12-2006, 05:50 PM
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Re: AC 9/8-9/9--the Heater of My Life
Here are the NJTP directions ripped from an old AC thread if you're interested.
[ QUOTE ] Here are the actual street names for Bunky's shortcut. Huge time saver over every other route I've ever taken. 1. Get on NJTP after crossing the Del. Memorial Bridge. 2. Take exit 3 and head NORTH towards Camden. This is the exit with the "Aquarium" sign, ironically. 3. Turn LEFT at the first light onto Benigno Blvd (Wendy's on left) 4. Take Benigno thru the industrial park, and make a quick LEFT then RIGHT when you hit Leaf Ave. You will go L on Leaf, and then quickly turn North (RIGHT) onto Wellwood Ave. 5. Take Wellwood up the hill to Creek Road, and turn LEFT on Creek. Take Creek over top of Route 42. 6. Turn LEFT onto Harding Ave after crossing 42. 7. Take Harding to where it dead ends, you'll see an onramp for 42 SOUTH. 8. Take 42 South to the beginning of the ACE, and head on to poker glory. [/ QUOTE ] now more drunken gambling reports please...
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