Walking at night

[multious]

this sounds like a story from a government english exam. Thanks Gilbert Grape

[db9db9db9]

[ QUOTE ]
At around 1 o'clock at night, I always walk around my hometown of overland park. I have trouble sleeping and my thoughts build up over the course of the day. In the mourning I am rather dull. MY mind gets more alert at night.The later it is, the better I feel, assuming drugs are not involved. Usually by midnight, unlinked streams of conciousness are everywhere and I just want to stop thinking. So I am forced to go out on a walk, or to get drunk, or to cut myself/destroy things. My mom hates when I do this, and yells at me and threatens me, occasionally throwing stuff at me whenever i decide to go out. My mom thinks its wierd and im sure she suspects other things that I might be doing at 2 am.
I walk far distances.Occasionally I walk so far that I cannot go back. I have to call my mom and it sucks. The farthest I think i've walked is about 40 miles. My legs had chafed so bad that they were bleeding after about 25 miles and the blodd stuck to my boxers and the pain was terrible, not that I hated it. This happened the same day I was supposed to be baptized. I often hate the church and will never be baptized. Occasionally I use god as a crutch though. Like all people, I enjoy fantasizing that I am some good rebel fighting against a stronger force.
I too find it wierd.Especially since no one else in overland park walks at night without reason. The only people I see are late night consruction workers, stoners who drive cars and honk at me( My body tenses up whenever i'm close to a car), people leaving bars, and the occasional phone yeller. The phone yeller stands outside their apartment for privacy and yells. the are very pissed off. I one time saw a guy who was walking for no reason but never again.Im the only one who does this at one. I dream that one day some chick will be walking at 2 am like me and when I ask her why, she will say that she just wants to think. She will have black hair and be extremely wierd- I dislike blondes.
Normally I sleep in my boxers so i usually walk in shorts and a crappy T-shirt that I throw on. I think of my walking as a drug. Something that's wierd and bad for me. Its not in anyway for excersize and occasionally I come to very wierd thoughts at night which lead me in the middle of roads contemplating my lack of ability to kill myself. I really wish i had it in me, but i am too much of a pussy.

But lately I come to accept that its part of who I am. walking at one is like my meditastive action, like archery for dave spritz in the weatherman. SO i dont throw on shorts. I dress up in many creative fashions and act like the night is my runway now. I love the coldness and the bright moon, and the fact that you can hear cans rolling half a mile away. I feel good about it.

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You crazy. Get yourself a stationary bike and watch old movies on TCM while you exercise your troubled bad self.

[Kratzer]

SMB, i think your posts are great, keep em coming. as for using the computer at night, are there any internet cafes or coffeshops with internet access in your town?

[mrcoughman]

My dad is a shrink so I have alot of second hand knowledge of mental illnesses. It sounds like you suffer from depression/ocd/some sort of other illness. Im not tring to be mean at all, just helpful. Please consult your family doctor and just say the same thing in this post. Its not that what you do is wrong or bad, it just seems like you have some compulsions or imbalances that medications would help with. Gl dude.

[illeagle]

[ QUOTE ]
I dream that one day some chick will be walking at 2 am like me and when I ask her why, she will say that she just wants to think. She will have black hair and be extremely wierd- I dislike blondes.

[/ QUOTE ]
Do you ever walk alone?
Like a drifter in the dark
Seeking out what isn't there
Looking only for a spark

From a girl who's all alone
Maybe shes a-driftin' too
Like a shadow in the night
Waitin just to meet with you

And then perhaps in love you'll stay
Or fall and go your separate ways
Still searchin' for a spark
Like a drifter in the dark

[nuggetz87]

i wasn't even going to click on this post - thought it would be something lame about sleepwalking. until i saw it was a Bryce post, of course.

keep posting dude, i hope you overcome some of your problems soon.