When should a father stop bathing his daughter?

[diebitter]

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MY oldest is 6 and I still bathe her and the younger girls. But as soon as she tells me she doesnt me to do it any more, I wont. Pretty simple. If you are uncomfortable doing it now, you need to make that fact clear to your wife. And the whole what if I werent here thing is [censored]. Obviously if she wasnt here youd work it out and get the kid bathed.

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Good advice.

[Blarg]

You worry too much and your wife is too lazy. This seems to be veering toward what is making your wife or you comfortable much more than what is making your kid comfortable, even though the kid's comfort should be the main focus so long as she's not in danger or something.

If there is discomfort on the part of either you or your kid, and she is able to wash herself and do a good job of it, you should probably just leave her to do most of her business alone and just check on her occasionally. If you are communicating some odd discomfort to your kid, you might be confusing her in some way and she might take on and internalize that a bit and begin to feel that a perfectly ordinary family activity is odd. Hopefully you won't wind up passing on your discomfort to your kid. She doesn't need to attach connotations to simple family activities that aren't appropriate for five year olds to think about.

Your wife might have to wise up and learn to be less rigid or less lazy. If you have limitations on what you feel comfortable with that you can't get past and might pass on to your kid, your wife might do well to pick up your slack. If not for your sake, then to keep her daughter from getting weirded out or self-conscious about doing ordinary activities with her dad.

I really don't think you should let yourself get too uncomfortable, though, because occasionally you will likely have to deal with your daughter's nakedness, and it won't do any good for either of you if you've both become uncomfortable with each other regarding nudity. If your kid gets hurt, you don't want her to feel shy about showing you, for instance, because those things simply have to be taken care of immediately. And you'll still need to check on her in the bath, even if you don't bathe her yourself.

I guess I'm saying, just be normal and don't let this build up to anything exceptional for either of you, because it isn't. There's only going to be as much drama or weirdness in this situation as you inject into it yourself, so choose carefully.

[Blarg]

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MY oldest is 6 and I still bathe her and the younger girls. But as soon as she tells me she doesnt me to do it any more, I wont. Pretty simple. If you are uncomfortable doing it now, you need to make that fact clear to your wife. And the whole what if I werent here thing is [censored]. Obviously if she wasnt here youd work it out and get the kid bathed.

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Good advice.

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[OrigamiSensei]

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If she's capable of bathing herself and doesn't want you in the room anymore.

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Assuming a non-pedophile parent (and I sure hope that applies to everyone here) this is the correct answer. I don't remember exactly when this happened with my daughter but I think it was somewhere between five and seven years of age. It was such a non-issue I don't even remember and she's only eight now.

[SoCalRugger]

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If she's capable of bathing herself and doesn't want you in the room anymore.

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This advice could backfire.

[Villainaire]

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when the camera's out of film

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You win.

[MichaelDav1s]

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When it stops being fun.

-Michael

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I draw the line at 6. Anything before that is seductively sexy.

-Michael the window shoppa

[P Chippa]

Vulture,
This take seams pretty solid.

Blarg,
Thank you for the lengthly, thought out reply. The points you made sound totally reasonable and spot on. Thankfully, the situation is not, nor will it, progress into a very big deal. I just wanted to see if my thoughts on it were normal or out of line. I guess it's just one of those parenting things that you'll probably barely remember as time goes on as another poster suggested.

[Tilt]

the privacy thing is irrelevant. Nudity is only as big an issue as you make of it. There are societies where people hardly ever wear clothes at all. If you make a big deal out of nudity, you will create issues.

The important thing here is promoting self reliance in the child. They should be able to bathe themselves, though i wouldn't rely on a 5 year old to wash her own hair.

I have a 6 year old daughter who still bathes with her younger brother of 3. I still wash her hair.

[MikeSmith]

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When it STARTS being fun.

-Michael

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