Poker, Societal Intolerance.

[csuf_gambl0r]

just say:
"I'm not a gambler, I'm a very intelligent risk taker"

[dustyn]

[ QUOTE ]
So I'm at the wedding last night of one of my friends and I'm at the "singles table" with another friend, three random guys and four women. The "girls" were a few years older than me and well into the bitter stage of their thirties. Physically, none of them were attractive and I say that as an older guy. If I were a young 2p2 dude, used to college chicks, they'd all be total trolls.

So anyway, I'm talking to my friend all night and the subject comes round to my upcoming trip to Vegas. One of the girls is eavesdropping and wants to know "if (I'm) a gambler or something." I tell her no that I play poker.
Another girl also is eavesdropping and announces, "Oh, that's not gambling?"
Now I've only been nice and friendly to the table and I noted that their tone was adversarial and rude, but I answered anyway. I said that yes it was gambling but that I thought I had a long term edge due to my study, my hard work, that I try to learn from the better pokers (like most of you here), and that I am smart enough to stay away from the guys who can trounce me. Also, I have no poker ego and have no desire to test my ability in games my BR can't afford--blah, blah, blah, I explain it all thoroughly.

The trolls begin laughing at me and one of them decides, that I have "a gambling addiction" because I play poker for 10 hours a week (more like 15 but I lowballed the estimate). I pointed out that
1. I'm a long term winner.
2. I enjoy the game and love playing.
3. Even though I'm not real good, I do get better each month which, frankly, is kind of fun.

They, now all three of the nosy Normas, disagree and say I'm a gambling addict.

At this point I got mighty irritated because I went out of my way to give them a fine explanation and none of them listend to me. I didn't show my anger but I did lecture them. I explained that it was nice that they had opinions but that they were mistaken to share them as they know nothing about poker or addiction. The latter I happen to know quite a bit about from work so I went over the three-tier model of addiction--use, tolerance, withdrawal--which, of course, they had no answer for. They repeated their claim that I was an addict. I then suggested that they study the matter and come back and talk to me once they were less ignorant on the subject which was a less aggressive response than they deserved.

Luckily, the conversation died and I resumed eating dinner. Later, one of them asked me if I had a girlfriend and if "I did a lot of partying in Vegas when I went to 'play poker.'"
I shook my head and said that poker and alcohol don't mix. They scoffed at this and I intentionally didn't answer their GF question although my GF is a real life gambler who, embarassingly, loves the slots (I know). When they repeated the GF question I said it was personal and asked if they'd would allow me to finish eating in peace. My friend and I hit the dancefloor shortly thereafter but I don't think I'll be mentioning poker to any girls in the future--even though, in this instance, I would have needed a substantial cash bonus with r--back and a couple of sweatshirts just to touch one of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just say something like this: "The fact so many people share your opinion about poker is why I make money doing it."

Game. Set. Match.

[damaniac]

Just nod and agree with them that you are a degenerate gambler who can never make money. Then pull out a hundred, use it to light a cigar, then make light of the fact that you have to leave in your luxury car to go back to your mansion.

[JohnnyHumongous]

[ QUOTE ]
No, that's incorrect. I could care less about what some troglydytes think but I am going to defend myself. I'm not a punching bag and it's important to put people like that in their place.

[/ QUOTE ]

But you also have to be big enough not to indulge them in their negativity and criticism. It's like if someone comes up to Kobe Bryant in a bar and says, 'Oh yeah I heard about you, you put a ball through a hoop all day... why don't you grow up and get a real job??' Now imagine Kobe sitting there trying to explain to them that his career is actually legitimate... it would be absurd. In reality he would laugh them off and/or plain ignore them because a) he doesn't care what they think and b) he's too secure and knows why he does what he does.

[Lurker4]

I think a good way to explain the fact that you have a long term edge is by giving them a simple analogy. Ask them, "If we were to flip a fair coin and I offered you $2 every time it came up heads, but you had to give me $1 every time it came up tails, would you do it?" Of course they would. Then ask "What if it came up tails the first 10 times in a row, and you had to pay me $10. Would you still agree to my proposition?" They probably still will. Ask them if they consider this gambling. If they do, then they still have to acknowledge the fact that in the long run, they expect to make money off of you, regardless of what the short term results are. Then explain that this is a very simplified analogy of what you do. You push edges like this that, while you might lose many times in a row, in the long run you will end up making money off of that edge.

Hopefully that makes sense. I think that is the best way of simplifying what you do so that they understand. I've used this analogy before with people wondering how I can make money playing poker, and they at least begin to have an idea of what a long term +EV edge is.

[traz]

The deeper you try to make your analysis of poker, the more most people will think you are a nutcase/idiot.

My line is to figure out why they're asking me about poker...are they interested, is there a slight tone of rudeness/condescendence..etc. I then answer based on that.

If I feel someone is truly interested/fascinated, or there is a positive tone, I may give them a slightly detailed answer on how I actually win, why I'm confident investing so much time/money and what not.

If I sense there is a negative tone to their questioning, I just blow it off as something thats fun, and move on to another subject. There is no point is talking to ignorant people who have their minds made up already.

[ggbman]

I had the following conversation with the mother of one of my sisters friends tonight, who also happens to be the mother of an old friend of mine.

Her: So, are you going back to school next year? (She knows i make a good amount of money from poker, has no clue how much)

Me: Of course, not even a consisderation not going

Her: They aren't kicking you out (She has no idea of my grades, i had 3.26 last semester and a prseidential scholariship)

Me: No, guess i lucked out...

Her: You know Luke (her son) plays a little bit of online poker now, he wins some beer money

Me: That awesome, that's pretty much how i started

Her: Well i would never want him doing what you do, you have been very luck you know...

I shrugged it off, but if i hadn't decided that someone need to act their age, my next comment would have been something along the lines of "Yeah, nifty how i got lucky and in one year and literally made more money than you ever have in your life, (She is a stay at home Mom) hopefully it continues so i don't have to rsort to getting knocked up and sitting on my ass all day."

[chicagoY]

"The deeper you try to make your analysis of poker, the more most people will think you are a nutcase/idiot."

Totally. Great observation.

[El Ishmael]

[censored] em, don't try explaining it or anything. It only sounds boring.

[bicyclekick]

Good stuff gabe.