A "stinky" situation

[Blarg]

I never sit down to poop without looking if there's toilet paper first. Not doing so seems as stupid to me as when women complain they fall in toilets if men forget to put the seat down. Unimaginable anyone could be that dumb.

[Blarg]

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Take a shower. In fact, what are you doing not showering after anyway? Dry TP don't get all the poo off.

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Yup.

[Blarg]

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Of the offered choices, coffee filters is best in this situation.

If there were more females in the apartment, such that you basically had a finish everything without leaving the bathroom, I'd recommend wiping with your underwear. If necessary, use your socks also. Then get it all out of the apartment as discretely as possible.

Also, to the poster who recommends showering: you're almost right. Dry paper wiping doesn't get it all. Kleenex Flushable Fresh Wipes FTW. They're just like wet wipes for baby butts, but for big boy butts. Just keep some by the toilet. Your butt has never felt so clean and they can back up the regular TP in a situation like the OP's.

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I've used various types of wipes for this. Now I saw some Tucks medicated pads(witchhazel is the active ingredient) at Costco for 7 bucks for 200 of them, divided into jars with 100 each, and got those. Pretty nice, and no alcohol sting.

Using toilet paper only is nasty. I remember reading about Stephen Sonderberg saying he told Will Smith about Tucks and made him a convert for life. He said something to him like, "You'll weep bitter tears when use one for the first time and see how much you've left behind after using regular toilet paper."

[g-bebe]

Texture of poo is key here. If it's one of them solid ones, nice and clean, no aftermatch leftovers on the chute, then you can get away with not even whiping.

If there was some garbage left in that can though... that's ugly. If she's not going tosee you running around the apartment looking for something, then do that, you can make do. Socks, or bare hands... unacceptable.

[Blarg]

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Texture of poo is key here. If it's one of them solid ones, nice and clean, no aftermatch leftovers on the chute, then you can get away with not even whiping.

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Not wiping is extremely pukeworthy.

[Autocratic]

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Texture of poo is key here. If it's one of them solid ones, nice and clean, no aftermatch leftovers on the chute, then you can get away with not even whiping.

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Not wiping is extremely pukeworthy.

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Yeah, how would you even know without wiping once? Sometimes it seems nice and clean, and then 6 wipes later you're crying, your ass is bleeding, and the toilet's clogged.

[pirateboy]

Honestly, not wiping is not the last option. Filters >>>> cloth (kill yourself) >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>> not wiping>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>&g t;>>hand

[.Alex.]

I went with towel, and it seems like an obvious choice to me. I don't think it would be that big of a deal to use that for an emergency. Just make sure you clean it thoroughly when you're done or just throw it in the laundry.

[Hold'em 07]

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I went with towel, and it seems like an obvious choice to me. I don't think it would be that big of a deal to use that for an emergency. Just make sure you clean it thoroughly when you're done or just throw it out .

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FYP

Seriously, just use a cloth. And when you're done wiping, go to the store and get some TP.

[dchz]

was op actually on the can when he posted this and is he still there waiting to get enough votes to determine an action?