Funniest thing you've heard while playing online.

[jason_t]

A friend linked me this while I was playing online.

[Schatzdog]

Was playing a SnG and one of the guys had the Nickname "Maverick". From the word go we had Top Gun quotes flying in. Even when guys had been eliminated they stuck around to put more Top Gun stuff onto the Chat. Hilarious.

[tennismonkey]

[ QUOTE ]
Guy who has been losing> Man I've been get reamed up the keister all night.

Other guy> And you took a break to play poker??

[/ QUOTE ]

Priceless [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[runout_mick]

Player 1 calls 3bb raise with KQ suited. Flop KQ4. Player 2 goes all-in another 25bb. Player 1 uses his timer before calling. Player 2 shows A7os. Turn A. River 4.

Player 1: "Good play"
Player 2: "TY"
Player 3: "Are you serious?"
Player 1: "Yeah, he knew the ace and the four were coming."
Player 1: "THAT'S good poker..."

[z28dreams]

My 2 roommates and I are playing in a home game. They have a history of going at it head-to-head, and the following ensued:

Both players are fairly short-stacked in a tournament style game.

Preflop:
Josh raises to 5x BB
Keith calls

Flop:
A 5 2

Josh pushes all-in
Keith calls

Josh shows AK
Keith shows 52o and wins with two pair.

The quote?

Josh: "How the hell can you call a preflop raise like that with 52o?"

Keith: "Because God loves me and hates you."

[ScottieK]

Funniest live game: I was dealing a home game with some married friends. One married couple featured a wife who was hitting every hand in sight and her husband who had to borrow several times from her. During a hand, her husband was heads-up against another guy.

Husband (apparently liking his hand, to wife): Gimme some of your chips.
Me: Sorry, you can’t borrow chips during a hand.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because you’re going to lose AGAIN, that’s why!
Husband: What if you play my cards for me?
Wife: Just because you slap butter on s###, don’t make it biscuits.

He lost the hand, set against flush.

Funniest online:
Some guy: "Man, I can't hit a flop to save my life."
Me (being a punk): "Why don't you check the 'hit flops' option at the bottom of the screen?"
Some guy: "Is that why I'm losing? Can you describe where it is?"

ScottieK

[smoore]

[ QUOTE ]
Guy who has been losing> Man I've been get reamed up the keister all night.

Other guy> And you took a break to play poker??

[/ QUOTE ]

WINNAR!

[vexvelour]

some guy raking in a huge pot in which he flopped the nuts and i was no part of:

me: nice nuts


and then I proceeded to giggle to myself for another few minutes about my comment. I guess this is funny cause I'm a girl. He never said anything back [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[Gildwulf]

This isn't the funniest but last night I said this to a guy who was berating a fish who sucked out on him:

Fishberater: Calling a raise with 69o, yea that's a good strategy
Me: Hey, i hear stfu is a good strategy.

Surprisingly, he stfu.

[d10]

[ QUOTE ]
I took a brief stint at shorthanded $25 nlhe, and was playing a very LAGgy game. my opponent has like $6 left, and I put him in on the turn. he calls.

Board : 6429

my hand: A6
my opponents hand: T4

opponent:that's a lot of betting for a pair of 6's
me :that's a lot of calling for a pair of 4's

sort of a self-glorifying post, but probably the best banter I've had in the chat box

[/ QUOTE ]

I had something similar happen today. The guy to my right was losing a lot of cash, was pretty short stacked, and I thought a bit on tilt when it was folded to us in the blinds. He calls and I raise with A5o and I get the feeling like he's ready to take this hand to the felt no matter what comes on the flop. Flop comes TT4, so I bet, he CR, I 3-bet, he caps, I call and then put him all in on the turn. He flips up K7o and MHIG. He then berates me for capping with Ace high.