My Wife's New "Buddy"

[jakethebake]

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I don't see anything wrong with having male friends, even ex boyfriends, plutonic relationships of course.

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Or martian ones either.

[Aces McGee]

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Or martian ones either.

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Note, though, that he put the (sp) after "brash." [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[Phoenix1010]

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I don't see anything wrong with having male friends, even ex boyfriends, plutonic relationships of course.

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Or martian ones either.

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Goddam it I was going to make this joke.

[dcasper70]

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she is reluctant to show you emails exchanged between her and another man? yeah, listen to mr. trik he gives sound advice.

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Wife was comfortable enough with the situation to inform the husband.
Husband displayed mild jealousy and suspicion, an understandable initial reaction.
Husband came to OOT, received wildly divergent suggestions.
Wife called, Husband acted even more jealous and suspicious.
Wife displayed negative reaction to this.
Wife will no longer be comfortable telling husband about online connections again.

This is bad.

[Aces McGee]

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It would probably be helpful if you didn't undercut yourself like this

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I was about to post something similar.

OP...don't take action on this until you yourself are convinced of what the right thing to do is.

If you decide you're fine with it, then you need to act that way. You can't just say to her that it's fine, but have it still bother you. If you do, it's only going to get worse.

On the other hand, if you decide to tell her that you're uncomfortable about it, then you need to act that way. Don't try and mask it by saying stuff like "I know it's silly" or "It's no big deal" etc. If you trivialize it, it will be a lot easier for her to do the same.

Be decisive. But also be aware that, if you aren't 100% comfortable with it, you should do something about it, because you're always going to wonder.

-McGee

[Bluffoon]

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your move is to demand she stop contacting this strange man. Period. If she doesn't, your marriage is over.

Harsh? Yes. An ultimatum, Yes.

But what your wife is doing is unacceptable. Certainly as unacceptable as if you were contacting a strange female online. While her motives may be strictly innocent (doubtful but possible) - his motives are certainly not.

Granted, your wife may not be getting what she needs from you emotionally - if that's the case, she needs to tell you so and you can discuss and solves things as a couple.

Seriously - this is not behaviour a married man or woman should be doing. At all.

And I know I'm going to get slammed for my harsh line here, but I believe in nipping problems like this in the bud, before they evolve into bigger problems.

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This is 100% correct. Your relationship is in serious trouble. Go talk to a professional (edit: "counselor") about where to go from here.

This thread should be a poll.

[Miggo]

What word was I thinking of?

Oh yea, found it.
platonic

adj 1: of or relating to or characteristic of Plato or his philosophy; "Platonic dialogues" [syn: Platonic] 2: free from physical desire; "platonic love"

Better that then a Uranus relationship I guess though. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[K\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s Deal]

This isn't a good sign.

Let her know it bothers you. No matter what she says she cannot help that it bothers you. Obviously, if you are more important to her, she'll ditch the dork.

If she doesn't heed your request then I'd really let her know how mad you are by punching a hole in the wall right in front of her. That should get her attention.

[chucksim]

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I might have overreacted. I'm commenting specifically on being friends with an ex. Maybe it's not wrong, but it sure strikes me as weird.

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Never trust it. I've been on both sides (once with the same girl). If a girl wants to be "friends" with an ex, it's usually not good. She's keeping him around, to paraphrase Chris Rock, as a "d!ck in a glass case".

In the case with this one girl, I told her to get rid of her ex when I found out he kept calling her, she said she did, and he called her when I was at her place. I answered the phone, he hung up. I called him back, he didn't answer. I called from my cell, he answered, told him to f**k off.

She tore into me for getting into "her business", and said she'd talk to him if she wanted. I suspected what was up and she was history. Until, that is, she called and wanted to remain "friends". Spent a good year of lunchtime and drunken monkey f**king as her "friend"....

[KilgoreTrout]

Didn't make it through all the posts. Do both of you post on swinger sites or something? If you play with fire....