My Wife's New "Buddy"

[Dominic]

This is not about insecurity or jealousy....you have never acted this way about her REAL guy friends, right? (although, see what I think on THAT subject below)

This is not acceptable or proper behaviour for a married person - man or woman - to be doing. It is incredibly inappropriate, and puts you in a no-win situation: if you object, you're an insecure, jealous husband. If you do nothing about it, you're a pussy.

Don't act jealous or insecure - act outraged and rightfully indignant. She is in the wrong - completely - and needs to be told that.

***As for guys being friends with girls, well, read my last column. Married women having guy friends who aren't also their husband's friends, is suspicious and unnecessary. What purpose do they serve, other than as back-burners (inappropriate), guys who make her feel attractive and wanted (your job, by the way), or guys who giver something emotionally you are not (again, your job)?

Only if the guy is gay shoulds you condone a friendship with the opposite sex. Unless you both are friends with him, of course. By the way, this also goes for married men - what's good for the goose, etc.

[4_2_it]

Unless the guy's name is George Takei you need to stop this right now.

My wife is a stay at home mom and I would do pretty much what Dominic suggested except that I would encourage her to view porn or get a job if she was really that lonely during the day. There would be benefits no matter which line she takes.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
People in their 30s want to be cool. Friendster/myspace/etc is our attempt.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea. I think this is where you went wrong right here.

[MrTrik]

[ QUOTE ]
This is not about insecurity or jealousy....you have never acted this way about her REAL guy friends, right? (although, see what I think on THAT subject below)

This is not acceptable or proper behaviour for a married person - man or woman - to be doing. It is incredibly inappropriate, and puts you in a no-win situation: if you object, you're an insecure, jealous husband. If you do nothing about it, you're a pussy.

Don't act jealous or insecure - act outraged and rightfully indignant. She is in the wrong - completely - and needs to be told that.

***As for guys being friends with girls, well, read my last column. Married women having guy friends who aren't also their husband's friends, is suspicious and unnecessary. What purpose do they serve, other than as back-burners (inappropriate), guys who make her feel attractive and wanted (your job, by the way), or guys who giver something emotionally you are not (again, your job)?

Only if the guy is gay shoulds you condone a friendship with the opposite sex. Unless you both are friends with him, of course. By the way, this also goes for married men - what's good for the goose, etc.

[/ QUOTE ]


I'm going with Dr. on this. Bonk her on the damn head and drag her back to the cave. Shackle her to a wall. Post pics on the net.

Total BS.

[tdarko]

you are missing my point of my extremely clever and hilarious hypothetical situation [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img].

i wouldn't want to have her guy friends to have been met in that situation. co-workers, sure. college friends, sure. but guys go on these websites to bang women or else they are gay, no heterosexual male spends time fluffing up a web page just to "meet" women and become friends with them only. this is the situation in which they met and i wouldn't like it.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
B) beat her with a sockfull of nickels

[/ QUOTE ]

This is good advice. I'm thinking of a whole range of situations where this kind of solution can come in handy at home. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Dominic]

Husbands and wives are a team. When you get married, you FORSAKE all others. You've got each other's back, right?

ANY activity that one is doing that is emotionally harmful or hurtful to the other, must stop. Logic goes out the window, here.

"Well, it's my right to go out wih my buddies on the weekend and party - I'm not cheating, I'm not doing anything wrong."

No, you're not - except you're hurting your wife's feelings by not spending time with her. Your wife's feelings COMES FIRST. Period.

It doesn't matter that what you're doing is "not wrong," it's still hurting your wife. Address that! Come to a compromise!

Anyway....that's what's going on here, in my opinion.

It doesn't matter that if what the wife is doing is completely innocent - it makes her husband uncomfortable, and thus, needs to stop.

[MrTrik]

[ QUOTE ]
you are missing my point of my extremely clever and hilarious hypothetical situation [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img].

i wouldn't want to have her guy friends to have been met in that situation. co-workers, sure. college friends, sure. but guys go on these websites to bang women or else they are gay, no heterosexual male spends time fluffing up a web page just to "meet" women and become friends with them only. this is the situation in which they met and i wouldn't like it.

[/ QUOTE ]

So a woman's life ends after college? The new medium (the internet) is not a valid way to meet friends? I call BS.

I must go now, have a RL deal. I hope the OP got some ideas and acts on the ones that make sense to him.

[peterchi]

[ QUOTE ]
Listen to Dominic, put a stop to this now. It might be innocent conversations now but it will escalate to more. Tell her that you are not comfortable with this. If you are scared to look like a douche then there is a bigger underlying problem which is lack of communication between you and your wife.
Also, read the emails.
Why is she on friendster?

[/ QUOTE ]
You're the first girl to reply to this, right? That's what I was looking for. Because I agree with all the dudes that wife's action is weird for a married woman, but I wasn't sure if maybe it was something that girls thought was normal and okay.

[pauliewalnuts]

Sound advice from Pete Clemenza there.