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#231
08-24-2006, 07:17 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
Why do I feel there is a "Gotcha!!!" somewhere near the end of this story? [/ QUOTE ] Probably because you're a huge dbag that loves nothing more than trying to poop on parades. You did this exact same thing when Aloysis (sp?) posted that his friends were backers of Gold, and guess what? You were a huge [censored] [censored] then, too. 
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#232
08-24-2006, 07:18 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] wait, why havent you called the phone company to get this dudes number yet? this seems like first step. the people who think you should apologize for kicking the door are [censored] braindead morons. rj [/ QUOTE ] braindead moran here.... clearly she's got some 'splaining to do. This certainly looks very very very bad and I agree with those that put her cheating as 99% likely but OP shouted "WHO THE [censored] WAS THAT" as soon as she got off the phone. That's not exactly appropriate treatment of the mother of your child and the woman you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Asking who it was without shouting and obscenities might have worked better. Kicking the door isn't helping things either. Fine, he doesn't have to apologize for that. Whatever. His initial reaction is totally out of line given the info that we have.~FishNChips [/ QUOTE ] OK, so..he shouldn't have shouted at her...ok..who cares?? Why does the level of his voice matter? The important thing is that he's trying to find out who this MALE is that is calling his fiancee at night. She needs to answer him, immediately, regardless of the volume of his shouting. And he kicked a door...SO WHAT!? You are acting as if her going into the room and locking the door is a "normal" thing. Her action is not normal. He is informing her of this by expressing his anger. If he cares about her, he RIGHTFULLY should be pissed off. You people are acting like kicking a locked door = Jack Torrance wielding an axe towards Olive Oil in the Shining. Get real. I've reacted far worse than this to my GF, who has done far less in terms of upsetting. I'm Irish, and hot-headed...it just happens. I have never struck another girl though. But I will strike an inanimate object if it gets a point across. Once a girl sees you are willing to break a knuckle on a TV screen, I think she'll realize you want answers. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] A lot of times, polite asking doesn't get you jack. [/ QUOTE ] I haven't defended ANYTHING the fiancee' has done here. She created this situation. Kicking the door isn't that big a deal, you're right. I also noted that he dind't have to apologize for that. Here's my main point : They have a kid together and regardless of the reason for the call they are going to have to maintain some sort of moderately civil relationship for the benefit of the kid. "civil" != "nice" But "civil" does = polite, respectful, rational. Apologizing for shouting at her would help make that happen. Asking politely doesn't always work, I agree. Starting by shouting almost never works. Also, why do you and OP both feel the need to point out that you've never hit a woman and that you never would? Do you want brownie points for that? Pointing out that you're Irish and have a hot temper as a reasonable explanation for why you punched out a TV doesn't help either. Other Irish stereotypes include excessive drinking, so should I assume that you were drunk at the time you punched out the TV? Does punching out the TV make you more of a man than me? Does that fact that when I have disagreements with my wife I do everything I can to control my temper and discuss them with her and if I cross a line in the argument I later apolgize for it make me a pussy? Things I've learned from OOT this week: 1 - "cheating" isn't cheating if you dont' get caught. 2 - "cheating" is cheating if its some dumb bitch whore that is cheating on somone in OOT 3 - screaming down my woman and breaking things to get answers is acceptable as long as I can blame it on my heritage 4 - its important to point out that I never have and never would hit a woman. I might do other things to try and scare the crap out of her and get my way, but I certainly wouldn't hit her. 5 - apologizing is for pussies with vaginas ~FishNChips
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#233
08-24-2006, 07:24 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
Gildwulf,
We agree on at least one thing, quoting long posts. I don't think he's done anything HORRIBLY wrong, but I do think he could have handled the situation better, and while I def think think his actions are understandable, I think its important to man-up and say just that to her. Additionally, I'm sure she has her own reactions to the entire situation, and hearing OP say 'I'm sure my actions are understandable, but I am sorry that I reacted in such anger, kicking down the door, storming off, etc... w/out even just calmly asking for an explanation, etc...' will go a long way with her to re-open the doors of communication and civility between the two of you. (Which are very important roads/doors to have open given the kid involved.)( Is it being the bigger person when you don't have to be or need to be? Certainly. Personally, I'm o.k. with that. Being the bigger person needlessly is important to me. Call me crazy. We agree in that I don't think hes done anything horribly wrong, and we also agree in that I don't know how much better I would have handled the situation. I know for sure that I have handled some situations in my life this past year for absolute [censored]. I also know that while I was being wronged 10x worse than I was wronging... I apologized for my part in things many times. We just disagree a little, but prolly less so than you think. Snarf p.s. I WANT MORE DETAILS PLZ
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#234
08-24-2006, 07:28 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
Fish'n'Chips,
I appreciate your contributions to this thread. Especially the part about how a 5 yr adult relationship would hopefully have a more substantive/mature resolution. It sounds like we agree on a lot here. Snarf
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#236
08-24-2006, 07:34 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
A few things:
[ QUOTE ] don't forget to get a STD test, to see if you got a going away present [/ QUOTE ] Good advice. [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Yes, we share the cell phone. We both use it, but in reality it's mine because I pay for it.. [/ QUOTE ] Just reading this suggests that you are nowhere near to ready to being married. [/ QUOTE ] While I agree that the guy might not be ready to get married, I totally disagree that it has anything to do with that comment. They share a cell phone, but it is HIS CELL PHONE because he pays for it. The only reason he probably brings the fact up that it belongs to him is because they're obviously separated ATM and he wants OOT to know that he has the phone and that he deserves to have the phone. [ QUOTE ] Just to throw in to the "he should stay with her for the kid" debate... As a child of divorced parents, I would be very upset if they had stayed together for me. Especially if one cheated on the other (which is the case for my parents). Granted, I wasn't 3 at the time my parents split (I was 11), but as long as OP maintains a strong relationship with his child, things should be OK. [censored] situation, and while you didn't handle it perfectly, I don't think anyone can say they would react diffrently under the circumstances. [/ QUOTE ] Was in the same situation and I agree 100%. I'm not sure if the majority of OOT has never been in a serious relationship but if you find out that your SO has been cheating on you (this has never happened to me, AFAIK), you are going to react strongly. I think he handled it about as well as most could. OP: Definitely go back over there soon to wrap things up. Obviously there is about a 0.1% chance that she hasn't been messing around. Her immediate reaction and her not calling you pretty much confirm it. However, you still deserve at least some sort of explanation. Try not to be dramatic about it, and spend a bit of time with your daughter. Then deal with the legal mess and deal with finding yourself a new place to live, etc. Post updates
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#238
08-24-2006, 07:46 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
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[ QUOTE ] umm *69 obv [/ QUOTE ] Don't think *69 works from a cell phone. [/ QUOTE ] It works on my wife's cell phone. OP, I don't have any experience in a situation like yours, and thus have no advice. The situation obviously sucks and I feel for you.
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#239
08-24-2006, 07:55 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
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She took the phone with her into the bedroom, and deleted the number from the received list. [/ QUOTE ] Ummm...how do you know this? Did you get the phone back at some point? Unless you missed the part of your story where your fiancee gives you back the phone in the middle of you clearing out. Maybe you just assumed this. Edit to add: was there a guy in the closet?
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#240
08-24-2006, 07:59 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
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WTF @ people saying she might not have cheated? Do you need a Joey Grecko or something? -Al [/ QUOTE ]
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