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#112
08-24-2006, 05:52 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
Let's be clear about something here. As suspicious as this looks (and even if he's 97% sure she's cheating) - he hasn't found out anything yet. It could be an ex-bf/stalker/jealous male friend (as someone mentioned upthread) and her way of dealing with it is to bottle it up and not deal with. Maybe it's someone from her past she's not proud of, but the OP hasn't found out anything conclusively yet.
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#113
08-24-2006, 05:52 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
I see some serious issues here. It could very well have been just some loser guy she can't get rid of, but I think you need to ditch her for the following reasons. (note that I always like to included numbered lists in my OOT posts): (1) You clearly don't trust her already. Either things have come up in the past, or in general she's just a sketchy person. (2) Her reaction to the situation almost absolutely means she's guilty of some kind of shennanigans. (3) The worst part of it all is the communication factor. Poor communication combined with suspicion is a terrible combination for a relationship. It's the reason I stopped seeing the last girl I was hooking up with. If nothing else, you should seriously consider leaving her for this reason alone. Sorry to hear a kid's involved, but I already don't trust this b*tch. [/ QUOTE ] This is a pretty sad situation and although you handled it pretty poorly in getting upset, yelling and trying to kick the door down (wtf??) you had good reasons and what's most troubling is her reaction. Why didn't she try to defend/explain herself? Is this mostly bc you usually fly into a range and don't listen? It certainly seems like this could very well be the case and that this sort of stuff has happened before but in different situations. If that is true, then the chances of her seeking another dude out who "understands" her makes sense. And from what you are telling us I'm about 90% sure something was going on with this guy and her. Storming out of the house the way you did doesn't leave you or her many alternatives now either. First you need to figure out if part of her reaction is your behavior in the past. If it's not, then she's probably been cheating on you. Still, you have a daughter with this woman and are engaged shouldn't you at least hear her side of the story before jumping to conclusions??
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#114
08-24-2006, 05:53 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
thats the mother of his daughter you're talking about! show some respect for the whore [/ QUOTE ] Done DNA test?
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#115
08-24-2006, 05:53 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
Let's be clear about something here. As suspicious as this looks (and even if he's 97% sure she's cheating) - he hasn't found out anything yet. It could be an ex-bf/stalker/jealous male friend (as someone mentioned upthread) and her way of dealing with it is to bottle it up and not deal with. Maybe it's someone from her past she's not proud of, but the OP hasn't found out anything conclusively yet. [/ QUOTE ] What would be 'conclusive' to you, her saying "I can't talk right now, but I can't wait to [censored] you again" on the cell phone?
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#116
08-24-2006, 05:54 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Wow, I think every single decision you've made so far has been wrong. Edit: Except for not taking your daughter. That would have been a mess. [/ QUOTE ] I think OP did fine. He didn't do anything violent, didn't break anything, he didn't even tell the slutbag what a rotten cuntwhore she was. He grabed some stuff and got the hell out of there when it became obvious the bitch had done him dirty. [/ QUOTE ] There were some words and yelling but it wasn't nonstop berating. There was nothing broken and I've never hit her once in the 5 years we've been together. [/ QUOTE ] Do you have any idea what Daddy leaving does to a 4 year old? For the rest of their life? You need to get back there and try to fix this and try to minimize the damage to your kid. [/ QUOTE ] no, he doesnt. do you have any idea what it does to a kid growing up with a daddy who doesnt have a spine? [/ QUOTE ] Please. I've seen some stupid things said on OOT, but I think you win the prize here. Men with spines own up to their obligations and do everything in their power to give their kids the best chance in life. Bailing out doesn't meet that criteria. If it can't be fixed, it can't be fixed - but he HAS to try.
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#119
08-24-2006, 05:54 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] honestly what I would have done is just ignored/pretended I didn't know what was up, and got up later after she fell asleep, checked call logs/checked her pc, etc etc. Wouldn't have been hard to do. [/ QUOTE ] And at the end, how is this a better outcome? I don't see that it makes much difference, and if you can bring off talking about it without going apeshit then it serves you better if she isn't cheating on you. [/ QUOTE ] you'd find out her real feelings/what really happened. If she went out with friends/got drunk/made a mistake and really regretted it, maybe you could move on from that. If not then at least you'd know. Plus it gives him time to get pissed and get it out his system before confronting her and doing something dumb like kicking the door of the bathroom.
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#120
08-24-2006, 05:55 PM
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Re: Some dude called my cell phone looking for my fiance
[ QUOTE ]
Men with spines own up to their obligations and do everything in their power to give their kids the best chance in life. Bailing out doesn't meet that criteria. If it can't be fixed, it can't be fixed - but he HAS to try. [/ QUOTE ] He can still be present for his daughter and not marry a woman who is obviously cheating on him and stands an excellent chance of leaving him in the not too distant future anyway.
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