She left me

[Fedfan691]

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Sorry you are going through this.

I think you will feel better if somehow you are able to take control and be the one deciding rather than being powerless.

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This is very good advice, and extemely important in making things as easy for you as possible. Being in the situation sucks, but being powerless and at your wife's whim makes things 100x worse.

[Boris]

Didn't you just have some sort of nasty break-up where the chick tried to rip you off and stuff? I heard you started a thread about it but it got deleted or something.

[ddubois]

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Hopefully the recent events have pulled him out of the denial he was suffering 6 weeks ago.

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Uh-huh.

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But actually this turn of events makes me more willing to believe that she is not cheating on me.

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[Sponger.]

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Also, I don't believe in divorce...I thought she didn't either. I won't let that happen unless we try everything else first.

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Not believing in divorce only works if both people feel that way. Your wife is angling for one already--talking about separating and "not wanting to be touched" do not point toward a happy ending for your marriage.

I hope things work out, but there is an extremely good chance that they won't. I don't want to sound like an [censored], but you should start taking steps to protect your finances. The last thing you want is to wake up some day soon and find out:

1) Your wife has served you with divorce papers
2) She has also cleaned out $15,000 from your joint checking account.

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This was pretty much the post I was going to write after reading through all these replies. It doesn't matter if you believe in divorce, you're going to get divorced. Start the wheels moving before they crush you.

[ddubois]

Any divorce lawyers out there? Answer me this please: If you acquire evidence of your wife having an affair, that is huge for leverage when it comes time to divide up asssets, isn't it? I.e., in court she'll get 0-20% instead of 50%, yes?

[CharlieDontSurf]

I'd post and say get a lawyer, get a therapist, don't dilude yourself into believing your going to make her fall back in love with you, etc etc.

But in the end it is not worth while...OP is in denial as most any guy would be in a similar situation...so its doubtfull he will take any of the advice in here and actually use it if it goes against his own hopes/desires for the marriage.

[[censored]]

Ya the thing is its easy when you're not in the situation to know what to do, its very obvious but when you're the one in love and still filled with hope it becomes almost impossible.

Soon however you will get enough hurt which will then allow you to make the right decisions.

life sucks in this way

[Banks2334]

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Any divorce lawyers out there? Answer me this please: If you acquire evidence of your wife having an affair, that is huge for leverage when it comes time to divide up asssets, isn't it? I.e., in court she'll get 0-20% instead of 50%, yes?

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In most states, no. Its called no-fault divorce and it sucks. Your wife could be banging your best friend in front of the judge and it wouldn't change a thing.

[Vehn]

the breakup is still ongoing in that we're broken up and she can't move out til 8/1, but it is not nasty really. Although, 5 minutes ago I yelled at her for having no respect for our 7 year relationship by dating guys 2 days after we broke up and that she's screwing up her life bouncing from guy to guy.

OK, its a little nasty.

[tuq]

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In most states, no. Its called no-fault divorce and it sucks. Your wife could be banging your best friend in front of the judge and it wouldn't change a thing.

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Well, if that happened they'd probably get rung up on some sort of lewd/disorderly conduct charge. Hopefully you wouldn't have to pay half of the fine.