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So, this is an update on this situation. I'm posting under my real account, because who cares?

My wife went to another city and there, against my wishes, hung out with some friends that she met online. She says it was just an afternoon, and one guy’s girlfriend was there. Fine. I believe her, really, but I just couldn’t figure out why she’d do this without my consent, when she knew it made me miserable.

After she came back, things have been strange. We finally went to counseling to discuss the situation. We started talking with the therapist about why this might be happening. She (wife) said it was because things had been bad in our marriage for a long time. She said that we seemed more like friends than lovers. She said that had felt this way for years, since before we were married, but she couldn’t express it, or admit it to herself. After the session we talked for a long time. She seemed very upset. She said she was no longer attracted to me, and felt like I was her family but she didn’t feel intimacy or romance in our relationship anymore. We scheduled another counseling session. She told me she didn’t feel comfortable being touched by me.

At the next session she brought up separating. She said that she needed some time apart from me. She said she wanted to stay married but didn’t think it was fair to either of us to be in a marriage that wasn’t based on romantic love, rather than friendship. She asked me to leave but I wanted to be near my office, and we fought about it. I left that night. I went right to Atlantic City and gambled and drank until I had to work yesterday. When I came home last night she was gone, and there was a message on the answering machine saying that she was staying with a friend. She didn’t even want to talk on the phone until the next session. She’s not angry or anything, she just needs space.

So in my opinion, what has been going on the last 6 months is the result of my wife falling out of love with me. I guess I just couldn’t believe that it could happen to us…
I don’t think she cheated on me, but if she leaves me anyway, it doesn’t really matter. I want to try and fix things, but she doesn’t really seem hopeful about that. I’m not going to hurt myself in any way, but my life, as I know it, is effectively over.

I have no idea what to do, and neither do you OOT…But thanks for the outlet anyway…

Any questions?