She left me

[PokerBob]

i am genuinely sorry to hear about this.

[samjjones]

GA - if you ever need somebody to hang out with in A.C. and drink a couple of beers and donk around, give me a call.



I'll fly with you.

It's pretty much over. Once you fall out of love, there's so much baggage that even if you address the core problems, there's too much emotional resistance to falling back in love. It's not a 0% chance it could happen, but it's really low. Personally, I wouldn't put much stock in whether she actually slept with someone. If she did, forgiveness is entirely within your choice. Of the various self-destructive behaviors she could use to express her depression/frustration, sex is better than drugs, alcohol, binge eating, etc.

Hopefully counseling will at least salvage some level of friendship and prevent the divorce from being insanely ugly.

[neuroman]

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Also, I don't believe in divorce...I thought she didn't either. I won't let that happen unless we try everything else first.

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Not believing in divorce only works if both people feel that way. Your wife is angling for one already--talking about separating and "not wanting to be touched" do not point toward a happy ending for your marriage.

I hope things work out, but there is an extremely good chance that they won't. I don't want to sound like an [censored], but you should start taking steps to protect your finances. The last thing you want is to wake up some day soon and find out:

1) Your wife has served you with divorce papers
2) She has also cleaned out $15,000 from your joint checking account.

[TripleH68]

As another poster experienced in these matters let me say

Get to an attorney ASAP.

[Matt R.]

I haven't read all of the responses, but one thing that struck me from your post is how young (29) you are. It's not like you're 45 and going through this.

Just forget about her (however difficult that may sound) for now. Go out with friends, date other girls, etc. In all likelihood, once she knows you are independently having fun without her, it will make her want *you* back. She likely has felt comfortable with you for a long time now (and thus was beginning to find you boring). Once she realizes you think you don't need her, her feelings will probably change.

I'm not advocating going out and having fun in order to get her back... I'm just saying that is a likely consequence. Your mindset is what is important. If you have the means to, I would take some time off work and travel for awhile. It will help you clear your head and get some perspective.

Good luck sorting everything out. I think the best solution in situations like this is just to forget about her as soon as possible, find something you love to do, and do it. Everything else will fall into place.

[recondite7]

This is a little OT, but what is the obsession with marriage? I have been dating my gf for a few years (I'm 22) and I am very serious with her. That being said, there is no way in hell I would get married right now. Things can change so much and there is really no point in getting married unless someone is very religous or there are children involved.

Posts like this make me very fearful of getting married before I'm 30.

[PITTM]

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this post made me sad [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

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me too. i like the op, he made a post about a hand we played in bbv the other day and i think everyone was a little hard on him.

i cant even imagine how difficult that must be. i would probably get a divorce and try to start anew, sorry man.

rj

[orange]

sorry to hear about this, i wish you the best in the future.

[Eurotrash]

GA, difficult situation, and I'm very sorry to hear about it. i hope things work out for the best.