Dumb jokes you still find hilarious

[Our House]

A poor guy and a rich guy are in a bar and both their wives' birthdays are coming up.

Poor Guy: Have you decided what you're getting your wife for her birthday?
Rich Guy: Yeah, I think I'm getting her a nice diamond bracelet and a 2006 Mercedez.
Poor Guy: WOW, that's SOME present. But, why the two gifts?
Rich Guy: Very simple. I don't wanna be bothered. If the bracelet doesn't fit her, she can drive it back to the jewelry store in her Benz. What about you?
Poor Guy: I can't afford any of that stuff, but I've already picked out a nice pair of slippers and a dildo.
Rich Guy: That's odd. I guess it's the thought that counts, but if you can't afford to spend that much money, why buy her more than one present?
Poor Guy: (in white) <font color="white">Well, it's very simple. If the slippers don't fit her, she can go [CENSORED] herself!</font>