How do I cope with losing a parent?

[HubertCumberdale]

I lost my dad almost 10 years ago, when I was 15. He was hit by a drunk driver when he was only in his mid-thirties. I cried for months afterward, but then my depression turned to anger when my mom re-married my now-step dad. I have thought about going to a shrink and getting back on antidepressants, but I hate how they make me gain weight. I just finished taking off the 40 pounds that they made me gain and I am not interested in repeating that.

I don't know how other people can cope so much more easily with the loss of a parent than I can. I mean it's been 10 years.

I guess this could have been posted in psychology but I thought it would be okay here as well

TIA for any suggestions

Hubert

[HubertCumberdale]

i just crossposted this in psychology. thanks to 4 2 it for the suggestion.

[beenben]

Sorry about your loss. Find a talk therapist who's willing to work with talk therapy or group therapy and avoid drugs. you should be able to find one who's willing to try w/o drugs.

[Snarf]

My Dad passed away about 10 years ago....it sounds like you're going through a lot more than I went through.

(Not to underesitmate how hard it was on me...)

I suggest seeing someone for sure, and maybe trying to not do the drugs - but I think that healing your emotional wounds would be more important than your weight - if it came to it.

[HubertCumberdale]

yes i think i will contact a shrink where i live now.

thanks for the suggestions, both of you.

[Matt Williams]

Let me ask you a question. Do you talk to your dad?
My mom died almost 6 years ago, and I still talk to her when I am alone. It really does help. You have to accept the fact that your dad is gone and you will never "get over" it. But if you make him an everyday part of your life and talk to him, it will help you. For example, say at Christmas dinner my family (brothers and sisters) talk about something funny in the past and we are laughing, one of us will say "I bet Mom and Dad are laughing harder than us right now!". And it's true.

[trying2learn]

i lost my mother 10 years ago...i've found that i go in strange cycles. sometimes i feel very content and others i feel almost tortured.

as cliche as it sounds...i've found talking about her helps tremendously. it's hard in the short term because it often brings immediate sadness (but it's a selfish emotion). afterward i feel much better, and the more regularly i find time to do this the less likely i am to go through one of the depressing stretches it seems you may struggle with. just a suggestion.

[Snarf]

[ QUOTE ]
yes i think i will contact a shrink where i live now.

thanks for the suggestions, both of you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Best of luck you tyou - I wish you the best.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need anything.

from one guy thats been there to another....

[bisonbison]

My dad died 5 years ago. My life got back under control about a year ago. If he'd died when I was 15, I have a hard time imagining how tough that would have been.

Good luck duder. Therapy helps. Anti-depressants can help too.

[MoreWineII]

Hi Hubert. I posted on your thread in the pysch forum.