What film/TV show contains the single funniest joke?

[diebitter]

I'm going with Pink Panther Strikes Again, which, IMO, contains the two funniest jokes in film history. They are, in order:

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Concierge: No
He goes to stroke the dog by the desk, and it bites at this hand
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog does not bite!
Concierge: That is not my dog.


AND

After accidentally destroying a grand piano through idiocy

Lady of the house: That's a priceless Steinway!
Clouseau: Not any more.


C'mon, tell me your favourites!

[Paluka]

"These are O.R. scrubs."
"Oh, are they?"

[chesspain]

Seinfeld:

Elaine: "Don't you care that I'm be going to hell?"
"Puddy": [short pause]..."It'll be rough, Babe."

[Kwaz]

I always piss myself whenever I think of the scene from "Nothing to Lose" where Tim Robbins runs into the convenience store with his shoes smoking after just having been on fire and the guy behind the counter looks down and says:

"Whoa, you must be fast"

[Prodigy54321]

Seinfeld...

"The Contest"..(about masturbation... for any fool who doesn't watch seinfeld)

Jerry - "It's like shaving, we(men) HAVE to do it."
Elaine - "Oh, that's balogna...I shave my legs."
Kramer - "But not EVERY DAY."

not a single person at the table (at Monk's) kept a straight face.

[TheCroShow]

The joke from The Boondock Saints, when the funny man tells the joke about the genie. If you have not seen the movie, rent it and laugh your ass off at the joke

[Layzie]

I always liked the 4-way road joke from Chasing Amy. But I think his delivery was what made it so funny.

[henrikrh]

I absolutely love the Simpsons episode 'Last Exit to Springfield'...

Mr. Burns has arranged a thoudsand monkeys to work on a thoudsand type-writers to produces the greates novel the world has ever seen. He takes a sript from a type write and reads...

Burns:"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times"
Burns: "Blurst?! BLURST?!!? You stupid monkey!"

[Roan]

Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!

[posnera]

It's not a joke, but the Peter Falk monologue while driving like a maniac being chased by the cops in some Central American country in "The In-Laws" is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

(as best I can do from memory)

Vince (Peter Falk): Shelden, the next time we're in Tijara, they make a chicken sandwich., they serve it on a hard roll, they heat it up, ... with orange juice, a big one, grande. Or expresso - with that delicious foam. Do you take coffee Shelden? OH JESUS, PIGS!
Shelden (Alan Arkin) - who has been staring forward in horror, completely motionless: Don't they squeal when they die?
Vince: No, the pigs are alive, Shelden.