100NL joke (lc)

subzero · #1 03-16-2006, 09:12 AM

A mother tomato and baby tomato are walking on the street...

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $1.00 BB (9 handed)

Hero ($122.05)
SB ($112.65)
BB ($104.05)
UTG ($112.10)
UTG+1 ($171.80)
MP1 ($55.20)
MP2 ($149.80)
MP3 ($53.10)
CO ($95.75)

Preflop: Hero is Button with 7[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], A[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].
3 folds, MP2 calls $1, MP3 calls $1, 1 fold, Hero calls $1, SB completes, BB checks.

The baby tomato falls behind...
Flop: ($5) 7[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img], 7[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 7[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (5 players)
SB checks, BB checks, MP2 checks, MP3 checks, Hero checks.

So the mother tomato runs back, stomps on the baby tomato, and says...
Turn: ($5) 5[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (5 players)
SB checks, BB checks, MP2 checks, MP3 bets $3, Hero calls $3, SB folds, BB folds, MP2 folds.

Ketchup!
River: ($11) Q[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (2 players)
MP3 bets $15, Hero raises to $118.05, MP3 calls $34.10 (All-In).

Final Pot: $178.15

Results:
MP3 has K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]Q[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (full house, sevens full of queens).
Hero has 7[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]A[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (four of a kind, sevens).
Outcome: Hero wins $178.15.

Have a nice day. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

4_2_it · #2 03-16-2006, 09:21 AM

Bet the flop. You can't let KK hit a runner runner to beat you. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

djoyce003 · #3 03-16-2006, 09:47 AM

you suck...i flopped 4 full-houses last night with straight/flush draw combos on the board each time, and everyone folded to my flop lead on every freaking one.

subzero · #4 03-16-2006, 10:10 AM

Sometimes it feels like poker is about the stars aligning...

dregal · #5 03-16-2006, 10:32 AM

DJ -

Not to rub it in or anything...

Party Poker
No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
4 players
Converter

Stack sizes:
UTG: $37
Button: $63.08
SB: $80.28
Hero: $76.65

Pre-flop: (4 players) Hero is BB with 2[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] T[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]
UTG calls $0.5, Button calls $0.5, SB folds, Hero checks.

Flop: 2[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ($1.75, 3 players)
Hero bets $1.5, UTG folds, Button calls $1.5.

Turn: 3[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] ($4.75, 2 players)
Hero bets $3, Button calls $3.

River: K[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ($10.75, 2 players)
Hero bets $10, Button raises to $20, Hero raises to $65, Button calls all-in $38.08.
Uncalled bets: $6.92 returned to Hero.

Results:
Final pot: $126.91
Hero shows 2c Tc 
Button doesn't show 3h Ks

Hattifnatt · #6 03-16-2006, 10:37 AM

wp

djoyce003 · #7 03-16-2006, 10:56 AM

groan.

Yeah my night sucked last night...no payout on my good hands, and my "ok" hands kept getting chased down and rivered by donkeys.

thirteen · #8 03-16-2006, 11:31 AM

[ QUOTE ]
groan.

Yeah my night sucked last night...no payout on my good hands, and my "ok" hands kept getting chased down and rivered by donkeys.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was so happy that I finally got a chance to play after over 2 weeks of not playing a hand and I had pretty much the same night you did. Could have been worse, It could have been a 4 buy-in drop type of night.

Hince · #9 03-16-2006, 11:37 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
groan.

Yeah my night sucked last night...no payout on my good hands, and my "ok" hands kept getting chased down and rivered by donkeys.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was so happy that I finally got a chance to play after over 2 weeks of not playing a hand and I had pretty much the same night you did. Could have been worse, It could have been a 4 buy-in drop type of night.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto... except, I had a 4 buy-in drop last night, combination of bad cards and bad play does it all the time. Luckily, I had a 10 buy in gain a few nights ago, so I am still way ahead of my normal weakly profit.

prohornblower · #10 03-16-2006, 01:12 PM

Nice. The pot was like 110 though right? Not 178?