What completely new skills would you choose to pick up?

[Anacardo]

Inspired by the C-Walk thread. Pick your top five sets of skills that you would pick up by snapping your fingers. For eligibility purposes these must be skills at which you are not currently even competent. I mean, most of us would like to play better poker, or lay better pipe, or become better drivers, or whatever, but for interest's sake let's stick to things we currently have little / no familiarity with.

My list:

1) Auto Repair Skills.

Because [censored] mechanics, that's why. I describe what's happening and they always end up trying to sell me a recently-replaced part or a maintenance procedure that I just had and I know isn't the [censored] problem, and when they DO get to the $64,000 question it has a funny way of being WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE. The freedom to pursue these hunches would be pretty sweet.

2) Point Guard Skills.

I really enjoy rec basketball, but I'd never really played until college. Now, I can shoot just a little, and rebound just a little, and stay with my man just a little, but that's it. I would really, really love to be able to handle well and pass well, and distribute like a milkman. W00t.

3) Linguist Skills.

I'm somewhat ashamed of only speaking English. I took French for years but payed essentially no attention. I took Arabic for one semester and enjoyed the hell out of it, but it's washed its way out of my mind. Fluency in both would rule, 'cause then I could tend bar in Casablanca, or some [censored].

4) Crazy Dancin' Skills.

Inspiration strikes! In one of life's little ironies, while I tend to have or acquire very good footwork in sports-related stuff, I cannot get down to save my got-damn life. The very idea makes my shoulders tense up a little. I'm really conceiving of this as a catchall category to describe the extent to which I'd like to be able to un-tense for five minutes. Behind the flights of fancy and random gangsta-talk, I am one serious cat.

5) Metalworking Skills.

I really admire competent craft-type people who are good with their hands. MY hands are pretty much useless, fwiw. This would be my favored choice for unassailably cool hobby / endless source of extremely thoughtful handmade gifts.

[swede123]

Numchuk skills.

[Anacardo]

[ QUOTE ]
Numchuk skills.

[/ QUOTE ]

Late addenda:

1) Crushing-baby-kitten-skulls skills.
2) Hamstringing-giant-Nordic-destroyers skills.

NO [censored] ON MY THREAD PLS, TY.

[PokerFink]

Car skills, dancing skills, singing skills, fashion sense, cooking skills

[Villainaire]

cool magic trick skills

singing skills

[jaffa]

hardcore violining skills
snowboarding skills
freestyle football (soccer) skills

[swede123]

I guess we're cranky today.

Seriously speaking, I would also like to dance well. I think that would be cool. Then there is computer hacking skills and bo staff skills.

Swede

[Los Feliz Slim]

1) Musical skills, if that's not too broad. I'd love to be able to sing well and play an instrument or instruments.

2) Chess skills. For reasons I don't totally understand I pretty much suck at chess. I wish I didn't.

3) Automobile repair/restoration. I'd like to buy an old beat up Porsche or something and restore it. I think I would find working on an engine relaxing.

4) Art skills. It would be really cool to be able to draw or sculpt.

5) Language skills. Self-explanatory.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Can I have supernatural abilities? In that case, I'd go for:

1) shapeshifting skills
2) invisibility skills
3) mind reading/control skills
4) telekinesis skills
5) either flying or super speed skills

[tdarko]

anacardo,

good thread.

i too would choose Auto Repair Skills. i have often told a mechanic to just fix it and then thought, "man i am getting bent over with no lube and no reach around."

Artistic skills, i can't draw for [censored] or paint or build anything or barely even cut a straight line on a piece of paper. my girlfriend asked me to put the tissue wrap in the bag of a present one time and when i was done she looked at me and said, "seriously, how do you f*ck up something as simple as that?"

Culinary skills. i am not bad, actually i can cook and prepare a meal that would please anyone its just that i want to really know how to cook, the art behind it, what tricks make the taste come out better etc. instead of being able to just cook, i want to be a chef.

fighting skills, i have been in my fair share of fights and the results of any fight are arbitrary. i list this not b/c i can't take care of myself right now but b/c there is a difference between being able to fight and fighting skills. all of these threads about cage fighting/UFC etc., make me realize that yeah i can hold my own throwing some hands with the regular joe on the street but anyone with "skills" is going to kick my ass. i want these skills.