GF wants to move in...

[pistolero]

GF and I have been seeing each other for over a year (pretty seriously the past 6 months) and last night proposed that she move in with me. I'm 28 and live alone in my own house. The last time I lived with someone was over 4 years ago with my (then) wife. The marriage ended badly and since then, I've enjoyed living by myself.

I'm not sure what to think of this. On one hand, the idea is very appealing and wish I could see more of her during the week. On the other, it feels like I'm giving something up - independence, maybe? I dunno. Another issue is my ex was horrible with money (couldn't even hold a retail clerk job) and GF's financial situation isn't that hot and I don't want residual frustrations to come up unfairly. It's quite possible that I'm just being a big pussy and that it would all be fine.

Opinions?

P.S. If you wouldn't mind adding your age to your replies, it would help me figure out how much weight to lend to your thoughts - not to say that some of you highschoolers aren't wise beyond your years [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

P.P.S. Don't ask for pics - they aren't coming.

[JWH]

How often does she stay over in a given week and how much time is she spending there already?

I think her financial situation is probably some of her motivation to wanting to move in and that may not be a bad thing.

[jba]

I've been talking about moving in with my GF this fall. actually we would get a new place. I have never lived with anyone, she has. we've been together for 2.5 years.

I would try to help you if I had any idea what to do myself.

interesting that you bring up finances. I make about 2-3x what she does, and I'm not sure how that is going to work exactly. How are people supposed to split things like rent food utilities furniture etc?

[MrTrik]

What do you think her reasoning is?

-- wants to live together as a step towards marriage?
-- financial reasons ... sharing expenses or her getting help from you
-- spend more time together in general?

I think her reasoning affects how you think about the idea a bit.

[4_2_it]

Is she suggesting this to get free room and board? Sounds like you are unsure so I would say you should examine her motivations and the reasons behind your reluctance.

Your gut might be right here so I say hold off until you have a good reason for wanting her to live with you.

As for age, I just had my 20-year high school reunion last year.

[pryor15]

i think the real question is do you think this has long-term potential? b/c if it does, a year seems plenty long enough of a precursor, and if not, then what's the point?

i'm 26

[eviljeff]

I'm 24.

[guids]

What will she be paying for? A year together seems short to me, to be moving in together. Im 23.

[highlife]

NO DEAL!

26

[Shajen]

pistolero:

Hi, first time caller, long time listener here.

31.

Talk to her about this. Explain where you are coming from and why. Gauge her reactions based on what you say and make your decision accordingly.

I will state that based on your past, you might be suffering from a case of OMG, I CAN'T LET THIS [censored] HAPPEN AGAIN.

Either way, good luck man.