Golf tilt, or, stories of huge retards on the course

[blah_blah]

This completely blew my mind today. I was playing a tightish course today and had a horrible front nine and was pretty pissed to begin. I ate a hot dog on the 10th tee and promptly drove the green (it's a 320 yard downhill par four but you have to hit it really, really high to get there). I three putted from 20-25 feet or so for my par (lol).

Doubly frustrated, I walked to hole number 11, a downhill, downwind 420 yard par four with plenty of room to swing. It's bordered on the right by the 18th, a par five, and the 18th teebox and the 11th fairway are only about 20 yards apart with light rough between them. I pulled out a new One Black, since my last one was kind of scuffed, and absolutely murdered my drive (but yanked it a little left) and rolled it up to about 2 yards short of the white tees on the 18th tee box. I yelled fore, of course, but the next group was just walking up to the tees. It's important to note that the ball was still rolling as the group walked up to the 18th tee. In total I probably hit it 340 (one of the longest drives I've ever hit), and my ball was clearly visible from my teebox.

After my three partners tee off on 11, I walk down the gap between the 11 and 18th fairways towards my ball. The group teeing off on 18 is composed of two Korean men and two Korean teenagers (races aren't relevant), who have no [censored] clue on how to hit a golf ball. I eventually make it to the 18th teebox, and my shiny One Black is missing. No one entered or left the teebox except for that group - they obviously took my ball.

At this point they are about 220 yards down their fairway, and I yell 'where's my ball?'. They don't even turn around. I'm pretty sure that I should have grabbed the cheapest ball in my bag, teed a driver as low as possible, and hit at them, but sadly I didn't do this.

I proceeded to take a free drop from the teebox and take a bogey from 80 yards out because I was so [censored] pissed. I hate my fellow golfers. Am I the only one?

e: I'm not even mentioning the two groups in front of me that each had two female golfers who couldn't hit the ball more than 100 yards and probably shot 140 while playing slow as [censored]. thanks for the five hour + round you [censored] arthritic [censored]!

[wmonfor]

well it could have been worse, you could have been at work.

[dizong]

maybe you should have gone up to them and asked rather than yelling a vague question from 220 yds away...

[kyzerjose]

Personal golf tilt:

There's four of us that play a scamble/skins match every year. $50@ skin with carry overs.
My side is down 4. We play 5-15 even. 16 was a short par 4.
The green is surrounded by trees with the pin tucked, I swear, 3 f*ing feet from the fringe.
I knock an 8 iron 2' from the pin leaving an easy straight, slightly downhill, putt for a bird.
My opponents hit right and short side themselves. Ah victory is ours!
The luck boxes chip in from deep rough. Okay, no problem, a tap in putt to halve. I let my partner take the putt. It's so easy I didn't even grab my putter when we approached the green. He knocks it 3 feet by. He said he was trying to take the break out. What f*ing break!
Geez, a guy's got to do everything so I go back to the cart to grab my putter.
I take a quick look, then decide to take a better look. From every side. I mean, there's 11 skins riding on this one putt. I start to hyper-ventilate. A fine tremor starts.
Okay, step back and compose yourself fool.
I do and proceed to power lip it.
Up up and away goes the putter. It looks like an F*ing Blackhawk as it gains height. Tilting ever so slightly it heads for the trees and comes to rest 40' up in a stand of black spruce. Cool.
My opponents are hysterical, my partner can't even look at me without laughing. And there I stand, down 16 skins with a $170 putter nestled safely in a grove of trees.
Shoot, that was 10 years ago and I still get crap everytime I play with those guys. Go figure.

[TripleH68]

Summer before my senior year in high school I was playing a round with my brother and his girlfriend. We were at a local metropark course on a slow weekend, early afternoon. The group ahead of us were seniors, two couples. Two groups ahead of them was a noisy twosome that looked to be drinking beer while playing. In the group behind us were some teenagers, one of whom had a physical disability. It was obvious when he tried retrieve his ball from the hole. The kind of thing when you see it you can't help but feel for the guy. And feel happy for him that he is not letting it stop him from playing golf, as that is certainly one of the greatest things about our game. Late in the front nine the holes run alongside eachother and these yahoos see the kid and openly make fun of him. Just cruel.

On to the turn. We grab a drink at the turn and come up to the 10th tee to find an argument just starting between the older couples and the twosome. It seems the older couples were just finishing teeing off on 10 when the twosome comes out of the clubhouse and confronts them for going ahead.

Of course what happened was the two stopped for lunch and decided to take over 20 minutes to eat before proceeding to the 10th tee. A lady from the clubhouse was out to the tee quickly to tell this twosome that they forfeited their position on the course by stopping to eat lunch.

One of the guys goes ballistic(picture jean shorts and white t-shirt) and gets in her face. I quickly advised the gal in our group to go call the police, then try to escort the lady away from this freak. He was streaming obscenities and turned his anger to me. The older couples were terrified. This guy was calling me a pussy and saying let's go and whatnot. I was terrified, I admit it. He was asking me what I thought should be done and I said "look, rules are rules and you lost your place on the course." He said "so how about I kick your [censored] ass then?" I suddenly remembered two of the best things my father ever taught me. 1) never try to reason with a drunk. 2) never fight someone who is crazy. So I told him the cops were on their way and grabbed my 8-iron out of my bag while backing away. Holy crap.

The guy decided finally to get the hell out of there before the cops came. His buddy was urging him to calm down and I might guess he had a rap sheet or was on parole or something. Major, major adrenaline rush. Certainly something you don't expect on a pleasant afternoon at the course.

If the ending was dull I could always rewrite it to say how I carved out his eyeball like a shallow divot. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

I think I shot 50 on the back nine.

[Jack_Burton]

I call this Ninja Golf tactics and its happened to me more than once among asian golfers.

Story 1:

Playing a very nice 18 hole public course in orange county, I pull my tee shot on the 180 yd par 3 just left of the fairway, on the border of the previous hole's fairway. I see one of the asian golfers (most rikery korean) walk to my ball pick it up and put it in his pocket. When confronted 5 min later he ddn't speak a word of english so i said fuc it.

Story 2:

another time, i was playing a 3-some on a different course. IT was me and a friend paired with a random asian old man named Roger. On a Par 5 I hit an excellent tee shot and as we;re waiting for him to hit his 2nd he decides to walk over to the out of bounds area and search for golf balls. No, not his golf ball, other peoples golf balls left behind.

In addition he refused to get a cart even tho we both offerred to pay, he walked the whole course and was terrible.

Story 3: I was at the driving range and I always bring my own rubber tee, its the height I hit off the tee regularly so its good practice. I always leave it under my stand bag and grab it when its time to practice the woods...so one day an azn old guy comes up doesn't say a word and grabs my rubber tee. I'm like WHAT THE FUC ARE U DOING THERE CHARLIE?? He looks all confused and I grab my tee out of his hands and tell him to fuc off.

def golf tilt

[blah_blah]

[ QUOTE ]
maybe you should have gone up to them and asked rather than yelling a vague question from 220 yds away...

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah man my intentions are really vague when I am yelling 'where's my ball' with my arms in the air and a [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] expression on my face.

also as tempting as it would be to walk down their fairway (and away from my hole) and get in a 10 minute argument with them just to find out that none of them speak english, the last thing I want to do is back up the course even more.

[LetItBe]

Wait, is this thread supposed to be about golf tilt stories or about racist generalizations? I got confused while reading your post.

[JackInDaCrak]

Well two of the guys are "asian" and one is "azn."

Also, it's "ninja golf" lighten up.

[riverdance]

it's tough to hit a golf ball with a camera around your neck