The high stakes pro (cross post)

[xZExROx]

No idea what forum this should be in. No idea why i wrote it. It became long.

Cliff notes – a familiar story for high stakes pros. may amuse some.

The high stakes story..

1) Hear about poker from rounders, through a friend or through some other obscure way that will make a good story.

2) Deposit a nominal amount of money, say $50, and grind it out at super low limits for thousands of hands.

3) Race your way through the lower limits, learning as you go and notice your initial deposit is now >10k.

3.5) Post graph on 2+2 to impress high stakes players residing in steps 9-10.

4) Either have a decent downswing at low limits followed by a shot at 5/10 NL ‘because its all profit’ or decide its your time and move up to 5/10NL or higher because poker is all skill and you’ve never had a downswing.

5) Run super hot at 5/10 NL +, continue to post and develop 2+2 internet persona. Beware, choose your persona wisely, it may haunt you in step 10. Do not agree to a flip and chicken out. Dream about aba (unless you are aba).

5.5) Should you wish to remain anonymous, proceed to step 14.

6) Begin to engage in ridiculous negative EV prop bets with famous internet personas residing in steps 9-10 (alternative skill games to illustrate intellect outside poker are ideal), thus satisfying NVG and BBV as well as letting other pros you’re willing to gambol your newly found riches.

7)Win 400k+ or some equivalently ridiculous amount. Buy a hot car and a fake ID. Go to Vegas. Be sure to post a sick graph or in some other way let your 2+2 persona fans know you have lots of dollars (prop bets, entering seriously low EV high buyin HU tourneys, cars, trips to vegas, cars - all work). Option : Give out ridiculous loans and progress straight to step 12.

8) Join cardrunners and begin making instructional videos (this may increase those entering step 1), consider joining SIHB if your persona is balla enough for them to accept you, develop a love for betting on neutral EV situations.

9) Go on either your first ever or biggest downswing (depending on outcome in step 4), develop a love for 200/400 PLO b/c you need to ‘learn new games’, swear that FTP is rigged, either go nuts and lose it all (go to step 2 with an attitude) or become cathartic about losing more money than most make in 10 years and take some time off.

10) Wonder why there are hundreds of threads on 2+2 about you losing stacks of cash and why all your fans are now surprisingly happy that your internet persona is either busto or close to it. Move down in limits to work on your game and to promote busto rumours (any promotion is good promotion). Consider backing lots of donkament prospects.

11) Disappear completely or for a decent amount of time, preferably by renouncing 2+2 because of one ridiculous post by a troll or because there is “not enough analysis anymore”. Then proceed to either of your ‘fate’ steps 12 or 13…

12) Go busto. Poker is rigged. At least you were rich once and had a famous persona amongst college poker lovers. Turn 20. Leave numbered story.

13) Create a new screen name after your reflective break and continue to crush games as you used to. Quit PLO and prop bets. Pay the overdue insurance on the Bentley. Eagerly await step 14.

14) Crush online poker and make lots of dollars.

How many people get to step 14 ?

[Wes Mantooth]

whats step 15?

[xZExROx]

you got that far ?

Suggest a step 15 for me..

[Droogie]

This forum is for the discussion of non-poker related issues

[MattSuspect]

[censored] bowl of kashii golean. [censored] diet. [censored].

[TheNoodleMan]

[ QUOTE ]
No idea what forum this should be in.

[/ QUOTE ]

[x] any forum but this one

[RoundGuy]

I think I'm doing the Wendy's Baconator for lunch. Anyone with me?

[Mike Gallo]

Pretty funny stuff, well thought out however it does not belong here.

[solids]

[ QUOTE ]
Pretty funny stuff, well thought out however it does not belong here.

[/ QUOTE ]

Indeed. I'm actually pretty surprised that someone who knows so much about the 2p2 cycle could be so off in terms of an appropriate forum. Either way, I enjoyed.

[daryn]

this sucks, and you suck