Baltimore: lazymeatball style (long with Pics)

[Lazy Meatball]

(baseball, beer, seafood, voyeurism, strip clubs, complaining, and public urination)

Day 1

This past weekend I went to Baltimore to see the Red Sox play the Orioles with my friend Phil who I previously went to NYC with We left my house in central MA around 8am in the WRX and made it to the parking lot outside Camden Yards around 3:30pm and drank a couple beers in the parking lot, bought some pistachios and headed into Oriole Park.

We got some beers and decided section 344 involved way too many stairs so we managed to scoop up some seats on the left field line under the first deck. Not much hi jinx occurred here as we were surrounded by families and old people filling out score cards and such, but it was a good place to watch the game from and Beckett pitched well. Manny and Ortiz did alright too.
Ortiz
Manny
Youkilis
In the bathroom one man commented on me “Now there’s a real man, drinkin a beer while he’s takin a piss.”

Around the 7th or 8th inning we returned to our stolen seats after buying more beer and some dude was sitting in them. Phil asked him what he was doing there and he claimed they were his seats. Phil told him BS and asked him where he had been the whole game. The dude claimed he was with friends somewhere else and then asked us if we wanted to get an usher over this. Phil asked to see his tickets, and they actually were his seats, but after some more arguing we convinced him to leave. The old people behind us backed us up too, as we had been there the whole game.

After the game we wandered into Baltimore’s Inner Harbor district to find diner. We found the M & S Grill (pic) which was right on the brick promenade next to the harbor and sat down right away at one of the outdoor tables.
. After about ten minutes a waitress came over and told us we had to be on the list on the list, turns out there was a two hour wait. Phil replied that we would make it worth her while and she brought us menus and beers. We started off with some delicious crab cakes with big chunks of crab meat and hardly any filler. After that we moved onto raw oysters which were probably unnecessary after the crab cakes.


For the main course we got steaks which were certainly very good, but did not rank up on the top of my list of best steaks.Skirt steak w/ cheese crumble Phil still felt the need for dessert after all this so we perused the desert tray and we shared the ice cream cookie sandwich.

. It was two large soft yet crumbly chocolate chip cookies with some sort of toffee in them served with vanilla ice cream and some sort of fudge sauce, excellent. It had been a long day so we walked back to our car and drove to our hotel by the airport, had a couple beers and went to bed.

[dcasper70]

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shared the ice cream cookie sandwich.

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[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Edit: aside from the potential ghey, good read.
Go Sox!

[dlk9s]

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shared the ice cream cookie sandwich.

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[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]


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He'll be posting a picture of their adopted baby in the Lounge thread soon.

[tuq]

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Around the 7th or 8th inning we returned to our stolen seats after buying more beer and some dude was sitting in them. Phil asked him what he was doing there and he claimed they were his seats. Phil told him BS and asked him where he had been the whole game. The dude claimed he was with friends somewhere else and then asked us if we wanted to get an usher over this. Phil asked to see his tickets, and they actually were his seats, but after some more arguing we convinced him to leave.

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LOL, how the hell did you pull this off?

Good post, look forward to the next (LDO, strip clubs, voyeurism and public urination are in future installments). Can't believe the NYC one only got two responses.

[Lazy Meatball]

Day 2

Woke up the next morning and had a couple beers and a shower, then noticed that our hotel room had a view of the pool, which was nice.
Pool view pool view 2 pool view 3

We packed up and went to check into our other hotel which was the Holiday Inn right by the Inner Harbor, drank some beers, then went back to the Inner Harbor to find lunch.


We settled on J. Paul’s Dining Saloon (I think) where we sat ourselves outside and got some beers. We got a dozen crabs and dove in like rabid seagulls . Finished our beers and moved onto the game.



Today we decided to sit in our actual seats way up in section 372, which still had an alright view of both the field
and various women throughout the park.
women1
women2

My friend Phil had taken an eye to the cleavage of the chick in front of us and after several cell phone pictures asked for my camera. I told him it wasn’t a good idea and asked him if he had a plan to be covert about it. He said he did, and apparently his plan was to blatantly lean over and take the picture, but he was interrupted by some guy in a Celtic’s shirt who told him not to.

Phil then began to get very angry about how people “should mind their own F’in business” and told me if I ever see that guy go to the bathroom on his own to let him know. Phil stewed for a few more innings and eventually that guy did leave his seat by himself.
“Hey Lazymeatball, was that the guy?”
“Yeah, that’s him” I replied.
And Phil was off. Some middle aged women behind us felt the need to tell Celtic’s shirt’s friend what was going on and Phil got intercepted halfway down the steps. He told Celtic’s shirts friend that he was just going to the bathroom and that he should “mind his F’ing business” and left. Of course this leaves me surrounded by a section that thinks we are a couple of beer drinking, cleavage photographing, pistachio throwing, conflict instigating A’holes. I waited a couple outs and left my seat on my own, to which someone remarked “Good Move.”

Here’s a diagram to show all the parties involved:


We enjoyed the rest of the game from the right side bleachers where there were many more women
more women1
more women2
more women3
more women4
more women5
more women6
more women7
more women8
more women9

and some friendly Orioles fans. Unfortunately Gagne blew the save and Millar homered in the 10th to win it.

We changed back at the hotel and then sat in the parking garage and enjoyed a few beers and a fine cigar on a discarded chair.


That night I had a crab cake and some shrimp and chips from a mall food court which was alright, but nothing special, but at least they served beer. After a hard day of drinking we wandered the waterfront. I managed to trespass on many boats
boat pic
boats including the USS Torsk, a docked submarine which I urinated into the harbor from.
USS Torsk
USS Torsk again


After all this I was thirsty and in need of a drink so we found a bar called “The Goddess,”

and it just turned out there were naked women inside this bar.
Naked women1
Naked women2

However they were all black and not that hot. After all that seafood I felt the need to evacuate my bowels so I went to the men’s room, took one look at those scummy toilets and turned around and went into the women’s room. I made use of the facilities there even though there was no stall and no lock on the door. Just as I was finishing up some stripper walked in on me so I wiped, pulled up my pants and got out of there to finish my drink and leave. On the way out I befriended a personable black man pictured above. After that we went back to the hotel and called it a night.

[Lazy Meatball]

The next day we woke up and we were out of beer so I was sad. We had breakfast at the hotel restaurant which was staffed entirely by Russian immigrants. I then renamed the hotel “The Holiday Innski.” Our waiter Igor was slow to take our orders, and slow to bring us the bill at the end. I then spotted a mouse on the floor two tables over. I took a picture and told the hostess that I was disgusted and would not pay for my meal. I left Igor a $4 tip and walked out. Igor commented on the professionalism of my photography skills. We hit the road and drove another six and a half hours home before going out to Boston that night for a Bachelor party.

This is the mouse.
large size mouse pic




Cliffnotes: I took a dump in a strip club women’s bathroom.



ps. Dcasp - yeah sharing the desert was a little ghey, but Ionly had a bit of a taste, no sharing straws or crossing swords or anything.

[onthebutton]

This is high quality OOT posting.

A for trip report. A+ for hidden surprise.

[tuq]

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Naked women1
Naked women2

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Goddamn you LMB.

The rest was very good though. Still, DIAF.

[Los Feliz Slim]

LM,

Are you the guy who got really drunk at the Democratic Party fundraiser a while ago? I like the way you do business.

[Lazy Meatball]

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LM,

Are you the guy who got really drunk at the Democratic Party fundraiser a while ago? I like the way you do business.

[/ QUOTE ]
Mass Dem COnvention
Two years in a row.