Which band would win the electric shock test?

[Bill Haywood]

People always debate who was the best band in the world. But the ways of determining this are superficial, things like album sales, votes in a poll, or frequency of STDs.

The problems with such methadology are several fold:

1. It does not measure greatness, merely how many lemmings followed the Pied Piper.

2. It allows sucky bands other than our favorites to win.

What polls and platinum records fail to account for is the intensity, no, the fanaticism of fan worship.

I have devised a way to determine the best rock band in history.

An equal group of fans from each nominated group will all grab an electric fence. The current will slowly go up, like a deep stack tournament.

The fans who feel the greatest, most sublime, ecstatic devotion to their band will last the longest.

This test can only result in THE POGUES winning, but I'd be interested in what lame posers other people think might win.

I'd also like to know if holding the hands against a slowly heating stove element might give more accurate results.