BEAT: Old acquaintances' gambling prowess

[Daliman]

So I go out for Karaoke tonight(Beat #1?) with a friend to a place I used to go to every sunday night like 7 years ago, for about 2 years. Anyways, I'm old, fat and married now, and pretty much the whole group of people has changed, of course, except this one kinda sketchy guy who's an ok guy, but, well, he's kinda sketchy. Anyways, I say hi to Sketchy Guy, (SG from now on), we exchanges pleasantries, etc. A little later in the night, after SG gets done singing a song, he comes and sits at the table I am at with some other guys. Out of the corner of my ear, I hear him talking about losing to a 15 outer, and turn my head to ask what he's talking about. He tells me about when he was in LV at the MGM Grand last year and he took $1500 out of a LIMIT 3-6 game in 5 hours. I express repressed amazement as I confirm this was a limit game, and the confirms and seems disappointed by the fact that I'm not more impressed,( normally I would be, but this guy's often full of chit, and it seemed pretty improbable). I didn't wanna blow the guy's story though, so I played along, even though he felt it necessary then to explain to me the difference between Limit and no limit Texas Hold'em. Anyways, the other guy at the table mentions he plays online, and SG says online isn't real poker, "I need to see the guys face", etc, etc, and like and idiot I engage him on the topic. We talk for a few minutes about it when he says;
" Ok do you know ANYBODY" who has actually EVER cashed out of a poker site." Umm, yeah.
"OK then, but anyone who has ever actually made more than they lost?" Yes, one or two people.
"Well, if that's true, why don't people play for a living online, why do they all play live?" There are plenty of people who make a living online, probably far more than make a living live(guessing?).
"How do you know all this stuff?"
Well, I play for a living, and many of my friends do too.

So now he feels the need to bolster his argument a bit, since he doesn't look quite as cool anymore, and the other guy starts asking me about the limits, games and sites I play, etc, and SG starts making dumb comparisons like asking if computer pool or real pool is more of a real game, and asking why the last 6 WSOP winners since Moneymaker are all live pros(....), at this point, I finally realize I'm wasting my time and just tell the guy, well, I like online better personally, everyone has thier own opinion.

So now he starts going on about how he gambles all the time, as if this makes him more of an authority than me, saying he gambles on darts, poker, sports, bowling;

Me: Oh you bowl?
SG: Oh yeah.
Me: Oh cool, I bowl too.
SG: You're lucky all the lanes are closed.
Me: Yeah?
SG: Yeah, I would DESTROY you.
Me: Really? I might be interested in some friendly wagering on that.
SG: Yeah, I average ONE NINETY-FIVE (Accentuated with 5 fingers right in front of me).
Me: Ok, I will bowl you scratch. When you wanna bowl?
SG: HAH, you wanna bowl me SCRATCH?!? Save yer $$$, man, seriously.
Me: I can afford losing. How about $100 a game?
SG: No, how about a BUCK A PIN! (Said as if that's gambling higher, it was kinda loud, and he may not have heard me say $100)
Me: Nah, $100 a game is good for me.
SG: If I'm gonna bowl just betting each game it's gotta be at least $50 a game.
Me: Ok... how about $100 a game?
SG: (Slightly dumbfounded) Oh, ok, yeah, let me give you my #, (he never does).

After that, I start talking to the other guy at the table again about bowling, and how I gave 9 people at Irieguy's bowling party in LV last week 75 pins for $100 each and swept them when I shot a 257 and SG comes up with some BS story about he holds some record at the lanes I used to bowl at because every Thankgiving he goes in to the lanes and ALWAYS shoots a 600... [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]. At this point, I ask him if it seems odd to him that he told me he averages 195 and I didn't even flinch in accepting a match, and again, he looked kinda dumbfounded, and said, "Well, I'm a born gambler, man. I'll show you how to gamble" With that he walked off to annoy someone else, and the other guys at the table burst into laughter. I felt at least 3 points cooler than normal.

Cliff's notes: Sketchy guy talks crap about poker, bowling, and gambling, gets pwned by a midget.