Why are turnoffs turnoffs (women)

[Rock-thedog]

Yeah so I got turned down recently by a girl, and I made the mistake of being too keen (and appearing to be) in person, rather than being the confident chilled out guy she wanted.

But in this and the other long thread recently (about the guy who was friends for a month, u know the one) got me thinking.

Why does attitude towards the girl matter? Girls know that obviously in the initial stages, first few dates whatever, the guy is likely to behave a little differently through nerves or whatever. But biologicaly, evolution etc, surely if shes turning down a goodlooking/strong/clever person then she's making a mistake. Just because they came over too needy or werent sure exactly what to say? Why does this stuff even matter? Yes I know it does, but arent all animals supposed to maximise their chances of healthy offspring what the hell does a bit of neediness reflect anywa other than inexperience?

Case in point, one of my best college friends was a total afc and got turned down loads until he fluked his first girlfriend, after that he got another ons, then another, and now he's someone u wouldnt want near your girlfriend. But its the SAME GUY, same financial status/intelligence/looks/friends. Hes just a bit more suave when meeting girls he likes. Surely any girl that turned him down initially has made a biological mistake?

Thoughts appreciated.

[KneeCo]

she's not trying to maximise her chances of healthy offspring, she's trying to maximise her chances of healthy offspring that will be able to get laid with the best of other people's healthy offspring.

You don't satisfy this desire (remember the episode of the Simpsons when Selma wants to have a baby but still wont sleep with Hans Moleman lest she have a litter of blind, short little molemen walking around); you are Hans Moleman.

(or we could give up all the biological excuses/arguments and just face the truth that you acted desperate and, to quote Swingers, "scared off a nice baby who's ready to party.")

[xxThe_Lebowskixx]

had to make a new account mr confidence?

[bisonbison]

Girls want to be happy. If they can't stand you, they don't want your penis inside them.

ROCKET SURGERY.

[Fast Food Knight]

[ QUOTE ]
surely if shes turning down a goodlooking/strong/clever person then she's making a mistake.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe you are overestimating yourself? Just a thought.


Seriously though, it's human nature to become disinterested in things we take for granted. If someone is so incredibly available all the time, it's not exciting or challenging. It's like the battle is already won. I think this applies both to men and women.

[Blarg]

Very unequally.

[esad]

You have to absolutely not care about women. You can take her or leave her, it doesn't matter to you. There is always another the corner.

When you truly feel this way and aren't trying to fake it, then you might have more success.

Well, that and stop trying to over analyze every relationship with women. Plus, I'd say that your perception of how desirable you are is probably much higher then reality.

[Blarg]

Yup. You need foundational virtues like confidence before the other things on your resume matter.

Here's a point to consider in helping you get there: Why would you want to be around a woman who doesn't even appreciate your attention and pleasure at being with her?

What's she going to do, grant you magical powers or something? Her pussy might seem magical, but other girls have one. ALL of them do.

Why would you consider it a plus to be around anyone who doesn't want to be around you? Looking at them realistically, they aren't worth a damn to you if they don't want to be there. If anything, they'll bring you down at the minimum, or turn you into something desperate and even more distasteful to them if they're negative to you and you STILL keep on coming. At which point you'll really start to deserve some of their negativity. Whereas before, it could have been completely unjustified. Except for maybe a lifeless or grudge f*ck or something, if you're into that, girls who aren't happy to be around you are worthless to you and you should be seeking to get away from them, not win them over. And if all you want is a lifeless or grudge f*ck with someone you don't give a damn about either, you can't complain about having a less than satisfying time.

So either way, her not wanting you is time to get gone. You should actually be very grateful when a girl shows she doesn't like you right away, because it saves you time, money, and most importantly, the emotional energy you might otherwise have spent on her. Save it for someone who cares.

Sometimes things don't work out, and often that is NOT a negative thing at all. It's fantastic, because you wouldn't -- or shouldn't -- want to be around anyone who doesn't make you feel good, even if it starts out okay. You deserve better than being with someone you don't like, and so does she. Well, maybe she doesn't, who knows. Some girls just don't like open, honest, happy people. May they be blessed with what they deserve. Move on happily and don't look back. A girl who isn't into you deserves nothing more from you than easy courtesy and whatever friendliness it seems fair to muster and a ride back home. No loss. Some gambles pan out, some don't. At least you tried. So now go try again. There's way better out there than somebody who isn't really into you.

[guids]

t biologicaly, evolution etc, surely if shes turning down a goodlooking/strong/clever person then she's making a mistake. Just because they came over too needy or werent sure exactly what to say? Why does this stuff even matter?



This right here tells me that the guy in question isnt really clever/good looking as he thinks he is, becuae if he was he would know it, and not care what chicks think. guys arent like girls, guys tend to overestimate their worth in the looks/smarts department, and girls tend to underestimate obv. any guy who is wondering why he is getting turned down, and follows it up with "but Im #####", is most likely not and needs a reality check.

[Duke]

This is like asking why various physical attributes that chicks have can be rod killers. The thing you're missing is that just because you'd want to bang you, she might not.