500th Post: Vegas Trip Report (pics)

[findingneema]

For my 500th post, I figured I'd post my Vegas trip report from April 26-30. And I'd do it BBV4L, because you guys would have more fun with it. Here it goes:

Thursday
I sleep in a bit, head down to Arizmendi’s for a corn cherry scone (SF people know what I’m talking about), finish packing, and then take BART to the airport. I end up cutting it a bit close since I waited like 20 min for the damn Muni to get to the BART station. [censored] Muni.

Flight is pleasant enough, though no hotties that I could have upgraded. The seat next to me in first class is empty, but they eventually fill it with a dead-heading pilot after they closed the door. Plus no pre-departure drink, WTF? Three scotches later, I see the Strip.

Two of the friends I’m staying with (RB and J-Mo) pick me up at the airport, and we’re off to get some booze. A case of Bud, a case of Bud Light, and 10 Sparks purchased, and now backing to the MGM. We have a Bungalow suite, 2 queen beds, 6 dudes staying there. Now’s a good time to introduce you to the characters (with nicknames, to protect the guilty):

Me, 26, grad student, lives in San Francisco
J-Mo, 26, computer guy, lives in Winston-Salem, NC, my best friend since 4th grade, loves to party, and when we’re together, it’s a huge party
C-Dogg, 28, works in an afterschool program (yes, it sucks), lives in small town, West Virginia (where we all grew up), also best friend since 4th grade, cheap as hell, though mostly because his job sucks
Alvis, 27, works for Rent-a-Center, lives in same small town, only drinks Bud Light
RB, 28, works at a ski resort in Colorado, drinks fruity drinks (Mike’s Hard Cranberry Lemonade) and Goldschlager, big guy, drove from Colorado, loves the 1/2 NL
Jer, 28, J-Mo’s older brother, soon to be a chemistry professor, lives in Irvine, CA, got married last year, I nailed his wife’s maid of honor (DD’s, baby!), wants to play some 2/4 LHE

We head downstairs after about 2 hours of in-room boozing. Three Buds and three Sparks will get you in the mood for gamboooling. Game of choice, craps. Everyone but RB steps up to the table, I tell everyone to bet pass line ($5, we’re real high rollers), and Jer is the first shooter. Rolls a 6. J-Mo and I put $10 behind, and Jer promptly sevens out. Three more shooters, three more points established, three more sevens rolled on the 2nd roll (craps is rigged, LDO). This scares off my friends, but I hang around till I’m back to $70, toss the boys a redbird, and go looking for Pai Gow Poker.

Last time I played Pai Gow, I was with J-Mo and Jer, and that was the fastest $100 I ever lost (i.e., most expensive beer I ever purchased), playing $10/hand. So J-Mo is warning me to stay away, but I love the damn game. The dealer, Maria, is this older Hispanic lady, and she doesn’t take any [censored] from me. I know deep down she loves my drunk ass at the table, because I manage to draw another couple ladies over to the table. I should mention that there were like 12,000 middle age ladies staying at the MGM for some sort of Avon or whatever convention. And I missed out on hitting some of that as Thursday night was their last night in town. After about an hour, I’m only down $5, toss Maria a redbird and I go with my friends to Hooter’s.

Apparently, most of my friends are hungry, so they hit up the restaurant. I go looking for the poker room, to play a little 1/2 NL. I find it, they find me a seat (three little tables, two in action), and away we go. To be honest, I don’t remember too much. I was drunk as [censored] and drinking gin and tonics like they were water. I bought in for like $120 (feeling out the table, my first live NL experience, outside of small home games). I ran it up to around $550 before my luck and drunkenness started wearing down my chip stack. We got this huge donkey luckbox at the table, who sucked out on me a couple times, once with a rivered aces up versus my AQ. Anyway, I cashed about $220 around 7:30 am, jaywalk across Tropicana, and head up to the room to crash. Apparently, I ate some Doritos before I fell asleep.

[popeye18]

Thats not (pics) its (pic).

[JoEyPeNeLoPe]

for my 500th post i might commit 2+2 suicide and have myself banned

[findingneema]

Friday
I wake up at 10:30, and I’m still drunk. A few of the guys head down to the pool, I crack open another Bud and turn on ESPN. Eventually, everyone comes back, showers, and we decide to hit up Downtown. This is where we find out RB does not know how to drive on freeways. Traffic is [censored] on I-15, moving like 10 mph. RB leaves about 10 car lengths between us and the car in front, and then bitches about “aggressive driving” when another car cuts in front. He gets out his cell phone and is ready to call Highway Patrol before Jer and I convince him that he is a retard. Of course, we also manage to go the wrong way at the I-15/I-515 split, and drive for like three exits before stopping at a Del Taco. Del Taco sucks. J-Mo’s chicken taco smells like rotten fish. RB and J-Mo get into a shouting match over both of them being bitchy. This is going to be a fun day.

Of course it only takes us 10 minutes to get downtown once we get turned in the right direction, and because of Del Taco, I cannot take advantage of $7 Prime Rib. [censored]. We park at Binion’s, and tour the facility. Not as cool as I thought it would be. I sit down for some $5 blackjack, Jer watches on, and I get destroyed, losing $70. Everyone else at the table is running super hot though. Some kid on his 21st is there with his parents, and they’re drinking hard and up like a combined $300. This is the beginning of me running bad.

RB is playing in a 1/2 game, and I go over to tell him that the rest of us are going to check out downtown. He wants to stay, and I sweat him for one hand. He gets QQ in MP, raises it to $10, gets a caller and then repopped by the SB for $50. He calls, caller folds. Flop is T92 rainbow, SB pushes for like $100 more, RB tanks and folds face up. SB shows AA. He told me later that the SB was a serious rock.

We check out the rest of Fremont St (move along, nothing to see here). I buy like 6 decks of cards (99 cents each, baby!), and we head into the Nugget. Earlier in the day, I managed to convince C-Dogg that betting red in roulette was a better bet than black. Because I am the math genius of the group, and I’ve managed to explain every other game to them, C-Dogg got real gullible and believed me. He was not happy when he bet red three times a row in the Nugget and lost $30. I feel bad about it, but only because I would never bet red, only black. Alvis managed to hit two numbers on the wheel and leaves up $50. I make $5 playing 25c video poker. J-Mo drinks beer and cheers on the Red Sox. I still have no idea how someone who grew up in West Virginia, now lives in North Carolina, and has never been to Boston can be a Sox and Pats fan (and he’s been a Pats fan since we were kids). Eventually, we’re like [censored] this and call RB. He wants to stay, so we get a cab back to the MGM.

Time to bet on sports, J-Mo, Alvis, and I each put in $20 on the Warriors +145 moneyline about 20 minutes before game time. I stroll over to the poker room, and get an immediate seat for 1/2 NL. I sit down at the table, and it doesn’t look too donkeyish, just 2 live ones, a couple LAGs, a couple TAGs, and a weak tight. I buy-in for $200 and fold about the first 20 hands. Finally get AK in the hijack, raise it to $12, get reraised to $30 by the button (who seems tight and solid), blinds fold and I call. Flop 762, I check, he bets $45, I fold.

Another orbit later, UTG raise, UTG+1 calls, I get TT in the cutoff and call, blinds fold. Flop comes down QhJh6c, UTG bets out, UTG+1 calls, I figure I’m beaten and fold. Turn is the Ks, UTG bets out again, UTG+1 raises, UTG gets it all-in and gets called. River is a blank. UTG had AcKc UTG+1 had AhKh, LOL freerollaments.

I’m down to like $110 when this hand comes up. LAG with about $900 UTG who’s been raising 30% of his hands regardless of position opens for $12. Folds to me, I see AQ on the button, and given my tight image and position, figure it’s worth a reraise. I pop it to $30, to give me some room to maneuver on the flop. Donkey in the SB calls (he had shown down J4s, two pair, after cold calling a raise preflop) and LAG calls. Didn’t expect that. Flop comes down A95 and SB donk bets it $60, LAG folds, and I figure at about 2:1, I’m gonna push and pray for AJ. I do, see AK, and I’m busto.

[findingneema]

I leave the table (figure it’s not much of a good one anyway, given that there’s 4 $500+ stacks on the table) and watch a bit of the Warriors game in the sportsbook. Finally decide to play some 2/4 LHE, since it’s my better game, and it will take me longer to lose $200 there. Definite donkeys at this table, but it’s playing tighter than any 2/4 table I’ve ever played at. We honestly have a blind battle with me in the SB. I get AK, raise it, and take it down when I flopped a K. I showed my hand, just to show the BB, who was a nice guy, that I wasn’t just pushing him around.

However, I told you, I run bad. While I have AA hold up once with a pair on the board, I have it cracked on this hand. 7 limpers to me in the SB, raise with AA, BB and all limpers call. Board is Q high, 2 diamonds. I bet out, get 6 callers. Turn is a 3rd diamond, I check, because there’s no point in betting into someone’s flush. Sure enough, the button shows down 4d3d for the flush. What annoyed me more than anything was the BB had KK and didn’t reraise. There went my respect for him. Oh well, [censored] it.

So I don’t make my draws and my hands keep getting sucked out on when I make a hand, so the 2/4 LHE variance killed me and busted me for $150. I run real bad. It is the first time I had a losing session at limit in Vegas, so it kinda bums me out for the rest of the day.

However, the Warriors prove to be a bright spot on this trip. Their win turns $20 into $49, which doesn’t pay for all the whiskey I start drinking. I go up to the room to see what the other guys were into, and everyone but RB is there and passed out, at like 11 pm. I’m like “WTF?” and head back down to the casino. RB is playing 1/2 and drinking Goldschlager, and I manage to pull him away to Centrifuge, the bar next to the poker room.

Three Maker’s Marks later, I’m starting to loosen up and be less pissed at the sleeping pussies upstairs. RB notices a decent looking older chick, probably about 35 and a solid 7. I don’t think he has much a chance, but he does manage to strike up a conversation and keep it going for several hours. She has two friends with her, who are married, the definition of fugly, and both in the vicinity of two bills. Luckily, no need for my wingman skills, as about five British guys are already working their game on them. The larger chick has decided to make out hardcore with the fattest of the British dudes. The other one flashes us. The whiskey goes down faster at this point.

The chick RB is talking to, btw, is divorced, has two kids, and lives in Arkansas or Oklahoma or Alabama or some [censored] up place. RB is smitten; he says, “That’s the kind of girl I need. I gotta settle down soon.” I may be the only person in my group with both testicles intact. Finally, she leaves, without her friends (who are probably an hour away from a British train getting run on them), and we finish our drinks. RB heads back to the poker room, and I call it a night sometime around 3 am.

[findingneema]

Girl I hooked up with at aforementioned wedding, dark hair.

[findingneema]

Saturday
I wake up around 10 am, and of course Jer, J-Mo, C-Dogg, and Alvis are already up, watching the NFL Draft. I bitch them out about yesterday, and their excuse is time change (not Jer) and drinking all day plus going to the pool. Whatever, it’s a new day and everyone’s committed to rocking out with their [censored] out tonight. We drink beer and watch about half of the first round before heading out.

Jer, J-Mo, Alvis, and I start heading north on the Strip, seeing the sights, as it is Alvis’s first trip. We see the midget in front of Bill’s (?), Bellagio fountains, the Venetian, Caesar’s during the WSOP circuit event, etc. We get food at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville, and it is decent. Alvis decides not to [censored] around, and gets their perfect margarita, which is all alcohol. I get some ghey mango margarita, and yes, it tastes super, thanks for asking.

Monorail it back to the MGM (which is not cheaper than a taxi for 4 people, but whatever), get back to the room and resume drinking. I go over limit preflop play with Jer, so he’ll feel confident enough to play tonight. He picks it up quick, but he should, he has a damn Ph.D. in chemistry. RB comes back to the room from the casino and mentions that the poker list is long, so we’re like, “[censored] it, let’s go to Hooters!” So we did.

We help get a 2/4 game started at Hooters, with a couple dealers. One hand that still pisses me off. I get AQ on the button and raise it, everyone calls 5 handed. Flop is AsQs blank. I bet, everyone but SB (a dealer) folds. Turn spade, SB check raises me, tells me, “I’ve got a draw.” Blank on the river, he check-raises me again and shows down Kx spades. I guess he meant he HAD a draw. [censored] dealer. Jer leaves, doesn’t like the shorthanded action, and I join in a 1/2 game that RB is in. He isn’t happy about it, says he doesn’t want to play with friends, blah blah. He moves to the other 1/2 table when a spot opens up.

My chip stack wears down a bit to around $110, no hands of note, just not hitting anything. Meanwhile, the cocktail waitress working the poker room is quite hot, and we start talking a bunch. She’s feeding me gin and tonics at a solid pace and then takes my aviator sunglasses and wears them around the casino for about an hour (no, I don’t wear sunglasses at the table). I’m starting to think I have a chance here. Of course, I get nowhere.

[findingneema]

RB’s table breaks as they start a 2/5 table, and he reluctantly joins my table, 2 to my right. This is my first real experience playing with RB, and well, I think he wants to be Jamie Gold. He talks to people at the table, tries to get under their skin, etc. Not really wanting to admit he’s my friend to some of the players at the table. I’m pretty card dead, and when this hand comes up, I’m like [censored] it, I’m playing it. UTG, get KsJs, raise it to $15 (no blue chips in front of me, so whatever), UTG+2 is all-in for $17 (he bought in for like $60), CO calls, and RB in the SB calls. Flop comes down Qs9s2s. RB immediately pushes for about $150. I have around $100 at this point, think for a little bit, and call. CO folds. The cards get flipped up, and RB is not happy with AQ. Neither is UTG+2, who has AA. Neither of them have the As, and my hand holds up.

This hand, I’m sure I played wrong, and it was costly. I get AhKh in MP, raise to $12, called on my left and by the BB. Flop is AcKsJc. I lead out for $30, guy on my left calls. Turn is Js, I check, he bets $50, I call. Turn is 6c, I check, he bets $70, I call. He shows down 9c8c for the rivered flush. Thinking back, I should have either bet the turn or pushed when he bet. Either way, I [censored] it up.

I end up leaving with about $80, and it’s time to head back to the MGM so we can party it up at Studio 54. That is the last poker I played for the trip, ending up down about $400. [censored]. So on the way out, I’m like, [censored] it, let’s gambool. I plop the $80 down at Pai Gow and push 4 hands in a row. I tell the dealer that it’s my time and I’m here to gambool, so no more pushes. I look down at my cards, and it’s bittersweet. High hand, 7-high straight, low hand J8, probably pushing. Dealer turns over her hand, and it’s Jack high! T9 for her low, ship it! I cash out and head to the MGM.

Back at the room, there’s more Bud and more Sparks. I put on some pimping attire, drink 2 Sparks, and we each grab a Bud (not RB, of course) and the six of us head down to Studio 54. We finish the Buds before we even get to the line, which is like 20 deep at 11 pm. The line’s moving kinda slowly, so I offer to go get drinks from the casino bar near Studio 54, no one wants another, so I go get a Maker’s Mark. I get back, take one sip, and we’re at the front of the line.

Bouncer tells me I need to throw it away (yeah, right, I pounded that [censored]!) and then tells J-Mo and Alvis that their shoes are not acceptable. They’re like “WTF, you must be kidding.” He takes them up to the front to talk to another bouncer, and he’s like, I don’t know. Finally they bring who I presume is the manager, and he’s like “Why are you bugging me with this [censored]? Those shoes are fine.” So we enter the club, and it’s more sparsely populated than I would have guessed at this hour.

J-Mo and I decide that we’re only drinking Long Islands from this point forward, since that’s what we did the last time we were in Vegas together. So tab started on my card, and we’re rolling. The club starts to fill up and J-Mo and I meet these girls with a bachelorette party and start dancing all up on them. Of course, I’m up on this one girl for like 45 minutes before I figure out she’s the bachelorette and not going to be putting her mouth on my penis anytime soon. Bachelorettes should be required to wear a tiara or something.

So I buy some more Long Islands, dance on some more girls, and then I wake up next to Jer. There is a big gap in my memory of the night’s events, LDO. Luckily, they soon were filled in.

[findingneema]

Sunday
Jer says I was a little belligerent when Studio 54 closed, apparently I had some disagreement with some douche over his attire and he did not appreciate it. Then they lost track of me, though I came up to the room not too long after. I decide it would be good idea to see if my credit card is in my wallet, and yep, it is. I am a functional drunk, let me tell you.

Soon after I wake up and get the story from Jer, J-Mo rolls in, still in pimping attire. Here’s his story:

He finds a girl late in the night at Studio 54 and they start making out on the dance floor. Apparently I saw this, but my mind will not bring it back. He goes back to her room at the Imperial Palace, because she is high class, LDO. Her roommate is asleep in bed, so they first go out on the balcony and he bends her over the railing. Back inside they sleep for a bit, go at it in bed, wake up the roommate, who watches them the whole time (beat: no threesome). Sleep some more, hits it one more time in the morning, and staggers back to the MGM, still drunk.

So we’re like, “J-Mo, what did she look like?” That’s when he says, “I [censored] a fat girl.” Now J-Mo likes his girls with a little meat, big butts and all, so when he says he [censored] a fat girl, it means she’s got rolls. All of this is made extra funny because he’s a good looking guy who does well with the ladies, but has only been with like 4 girls in his life because he’s been in long relationships and doesn’t do one-nighters. Until now.

I get a phone call from this girl back east who’s super cute; we talk like everyday, mostly on IM. She’s like, “What did you want at 6 am this morning?” I have no idea what she’s talking about, but apparently I had left her a rather slurred message then. I had also texted her twice, “Fun” and “Drunk.” Sufficiently embarrassed, I shower and C-Dogg and I hit up the MGM pool to cure our pale complexion.

We do a few laps around the lazy river, knock back some daquiris (I like my fruity drinks by the pool, thank you very much), and talk to a couple rather hot cougars who’ve got the lounge chairs next to ours. Of course, I can’t seal the deal, because it’s just not my weekend.

I head back up to the room, and J-Mo and I decide to hit the sportsbook and see if the Warriors can bring us some more love. We take the moneyline at +200 (are the bookies retarded?) for $50 each and head back up to the room to meet up with everyone before going to the Rio. Jer, J-Mo, Alvis, and I all want to hit up the buffet, Rob wants some 1/2 NL LDO, and C-Dogg, I think he played some slots. The only starch I eat before dessert is the rice on the sushi, LOL allmeataments. The Rio Buffet was pretty solid, good crab legs and prime rib, only like $23 or something like that.

We figure RB is going to want to keep playing 1/2 and leave us taking a cab, but surprisingly he’s ready to leave. LOL bustaments. Head back to the MGM, hit the casino, time to gambool. First roulette table we see, J-Mo and I put $50 on black, ship it, color it up! Black chip on Pai Gow, get AAQQ559, winnar! No more gambool left in me.

Time to watch the Warriors, and the MGM sportsbook is almost all Warriors fans/gamblers, almost like being home. Warriors work their magic again, turning $50 into $150, and then I manage to donk off about $60 in video poker. I play more Pai Gow, just the normal $10/hand throughout the night, drink many more gin and tonics, and cash out up about $50. I rock at Pai Gow.

[JoEyPeNeLoPe]

am i the only one posting in this thread that hasn't read a single word of the trip report.

Here's a nice picture:



edit- maybe i'm the only one posting in this thread besides op