What percentage of people with HPV mention it before new sex.

Ra_ · #1 06-04-2007, 12:17 PM

I've heard several poster mention HPV and that they have/had it. Most stats I've read, although they vary a lot, say about +60% of woman my age have it or have had it.

My gf found out she had it while we were dating. I'm not sure who gave it to who. I either got it from her and have had it about 9 months or i gave it to her and got it prob 1.5-2 years ago. Some sources say it usually runs its course in 8 months with men, but some source say it can linger for 10 years or so.

I'm single now and am wonder how of if I should bring this up to future sex mates. My guess is that most guys would never mention this, because it is so prevalent and will have no affect on 95% of women that get it. There are also no tests for men, so I hate bringing something up that would possibly stop sex for something I don't have any more. At the same time I don't like the excuse "don't mention it because no one else does." Also because it is a skin to skin thing, condoms may or may not be effective depending on what you read.

What are your thoughts on this? mention it or not? if you do mention it at what point in the progression would be the best time?

Bicycles_Biatch · #2 06-04-2007, 12:32 PM

I have this same dilema... I'm sure I've given it to girls in the past (just a % guess, I don't know if I'm a carrier)....

and the thought of giving anyone a possible cancer-causing pathogen kind of freaks me out.

HOWEVER, I think if you take my approach... and your honest with your sexual partner about your past... you're good to go.

Fast Food Knight · #3 06-04-2007, 01:18 PM

I had a boyfriend give this to me. He knew he had it. He didn't tell me. He acted shocked and surprised as I cried my eyes out telling him I would have to spend > $1000 on incredibly painful surgery to avoid getting cervical cancer. He did not contribute financially. Later, I talked to the girl he dated before me, and she was incredulous to find out that we both had to go through the same thing, and that he failed to warn me or acknowledge what he already knew.

I don't know what advice to give you. It's difficult to bring up and will certainly kill your opportunity to get laid. However, I feel that what he did to me was indescribably wrong. At the very least, wear a condom, I guess. I didn't sleep with anyone until I was positive I was clean.

skunkworks · #4 06-04-2007, 01:20 PM

FFK, what kind of surgery was this? Obv. not just getting the warts removed, right?

Fast Food Knight · #5 06-04-2007, 01:23 PM

The kind of HPV that causes warts is NOT the same kind that gives you cancer. I had the pre-cancerous kind (aka asymptomatic). The procedure I had was called a LEEP. I'm sure you can google it. It involved local anesthesia and was horrible. I fainted afterwards. If I had to picture hell, it would be re-living that experience again.

CappyAA · #6 06-04-2007, 01:24 PM

FFK - That really sucks and it [censored] if he already knew. Do you know for a fact that he did, or are you just assuming it?

The problem with this is that most guys don't know, and there are no accurate reliable ways to test men for this. It doesn't affect most guys either so they don't even think to go get tested.

Fast Food Knight · #7 06-04-2007, 01:28 PM

[ QUOTE ]
FFK - That really sucks and it [censored] if he already knew. Do you know for a fact that he did, or are you just assuming it?

[/ QUOTE ]

I know for a fact. The girl he dated before me was diagnosed while they were together, and had to have the same surgery. He drove her to the surgery and everything. There was no ambiguity. He had a personality disorder and was very dishonest in general, while maintaining a moral high horse.

PartyGirlUK · #8 06-04-2007, 01:32 PM

:'(

CappyAA · #9 06-04-2007, 01:33 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
FFK - That really sucks and it [censored] if he already knew. Do you know for a fact that he did, or are you just assuming it?

[/ QUOTE ]

I know for a fact. The girl he dated before me was diagnosed while they were together, and had to have the same surgery. He drove her to the surgery and everything. There was no ambiguity. He had a personality disorder and was very dishonest in general, while maintaining a moral high horse.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok then well he is just a douchebag as a person then. That sucks.

Ra_ · #10 06-04-2007, 02:07 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I had a boyfriend give this to me. He knew he had it. He didn't tell me. He acted shocked and surprised as I cried my eyes out telling him I would have to spend > $1000 on incredibly painful surgery to avoid getting cervical cancer. He did not contribute financially. Later, I talked to the girl he dated before me, and she was incredulous to find out that we both had to go through the same thing, and that he failed to warn me or acknowledge what he already knew.

I don't know what advice to give you. It's difficult to bring up and will certainly kill your opportunity to get laid. However, I feel that what he did to me was indescribably wrong. At the very least, wear a condom, I guess. I didn't sleep with anyone until I was positive I was clean.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would positively wear a condomn, but again not sure how effective that is with this.

There really needs to be a way for men for to men to test this, as I think there is a real good chance I am clean now. But it is still a risk that i feel that anyone should be warned about. Its just pissing me off because I know that I will be responsible and it is going to get in the way of something in the future. I also have no idea for how long I should warn people of this, if 8 months is really the time frame I am clean. But dealing with this for 10 years for something I probably don't have anymore is really getting under my skin right now.

edit: not that it makes a difference, but my ex has had no complications or symptoms(other than testing positive). but has to get 6 mo checkups to be sure nothing else happens. based on history i'd say its about a 75% chance i gave it to her instead of her giving it to me, but thats just a guess.