Swallowing my pride

edge · #1 05-29-2007, 11:40 AM

Hey guys, what's up. I'm hopefully going to be sticking around MSNL for a while since I've decided that I need to start over. Shall I tell a story?

I started playing poker about 3 years ago. As with everything I become interested in, I researched it as much as I could before jumping in and depositing $50 to Stars. I luckboxed the .01/.02 NL (not much luck is needed to win there anyway) for a bit and then switched off to SNG's because I found them easier to grasp. I basically followed a script that someone cool on the SNG forum posted, and it was enough for me to win more than I lost. At some point, I moved back to cash games, and bounced between limit and no-limit for a while, eventually deciding (correctly) that limit was lame.

When I started playing no-limit cash games, I hopped over to Party and Crypto and consistently won at every level. That's basically what I did for about 2.5 years. I won at every level up to 25/50 Party and 40/80 GBP on Crypto (by the way, this was probably the best NL game to ever have existed online), and rarely felt overmatched. When I did feel that the game was too tough and not worth playing, I could easily find a new one and continue winning. At this point, I would realistically believe myself to have been in the top 100 online no-limit players in the world (although I almost never played below 4-handed).

And then the bill hit. And I stopped playing for a while. And when I started, I couldn't win. I don't think I was just lucky before; I had about 300k hands of winning poker and I felt locked in most of the time. But this was different. I was consistently losing. I'd suck out every once in a while and turn a profit, but give it back in the next session. I hated it. I can't stand losing in any domain, and poker is certainly no different. Since I wasn't winning, I managed only a few thousand hands per month because I was afraid to play and lose. I moved down to 10/20, and then to 5/10, and I'm still not feeling it. I don't have that feeling of control and I'm just playing off a script, and unsurprisingly, I'm not winning.

Well, I really need this. I need to be a winning poker player and I'm afraid of what my life would be like if I didn't have that. So I'm going to go back to what made me a good player in the first place, and that's playing with my mind turned on, thinking about poker when I'm not playing, and reading and posting hands on 2+2. I just started a new PT database and I'm going to be playing 2/4 for a while. I'll try to post hands and give feedback and hopefully I can get back on track.

JKratzer · #2 05-29-2007, 11:44 AM

this is a big first step to take that not everyone can do. good luck.

fitnessfreak · #3 05-29-2007, 11:57 AM

good luck man. im kinda doing a similar thing, except im dropping back to 1/2nl to get the confidence back and work on my game without the fear of big losses always in the back of my mind.

SinkRox · #4 05-29-2007, 12:37 PM

Try getting some coaching? That should help you get thinking in depth again.

Black winter day · #5 05-29-2007, 01:07 PM

Can you really seriously play at a level 25 times lower than you used to?

SEABEAST · #6 05-29-2007, 01:27 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Can you really seriously play at a level 25 times lower than you used to?

[/ QUOTE ]

of course you can if you are humble. cts does it all the time.

i enjoyed your posts when i was first learning NL edge, gl grinding back up.

Inyaface · #7 05-29-2007, 01:35 PM

GL man. I feel this happens to me once every few months. You just need to remember why you enjoyed playing (or if you didn't how much you enjoy making money)

yenman · #8 05-29-2007, 02:05 PM

thats sounds tough to move down like that. Im just a nl200 and 400 player and have had to step down to nl200. and im losing this month even playing at party. While im sure the 1K of Sklansky Bucks I am apparently owed has to do with it, the games have gotten harder. Last year I averaged 8ptbb/100 at nl200. My worst month i still was at about 4.5ptbb/100. I also did well at nl400 on a short smaple for 8ptbb/100. This year its been like 2.0ptbb/100. A lot of this is probably perma-tilt from running bad but I am sure the tables have gotten a bit tougher.

Anyways gl as a fellow torontonian...

edge · #9 05-29-2007, 10:44 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Can you really seriously play at a level 25 times lower than you used to?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm going to have to, since I can't win at the levels I used to play.

TheWorstPlayer · #10 05-29-2007, 10:46 PM

it's not hard to play msnl after playing hsnl. once you get into the game and forget the fact that you used to play higher (or still do sometimes) you just play to win. I play 2/4 through 10/20 (sometimes at the same time) and it's not as hard as i thought it would be at all. good luck.