beat: first day back grinding

[nath]

-$2250. -977.50 cash, the rest at tournaments. no graph. i don't care. this game makes me miserable and unhappy and sucks away all of my money. and i'm supposedly good at it.

i think i'm overall loser since the WSOP event last year. i'm practically online busto. all the enthusiasm and energy i had revved up to return to poker disappeared during today's session. i'm sick of tournaments where i keep getting my money in good or making the right move and getting [censored]. i'm sick of cash games where i constantly get floated or reraised, or never make a pair, or some idiot flops a monster.

i mean, i played for six hours today and i hate it all over again. i don't even know what to do anymore. my potential win rate here is way more than i would make working a job i [censored] hate, but that's all theoretical if i lose money every goddamn time i step out there. what's [censored] up is that the rest of my life is, or should be, great. and in theory i have a better career than almost everyone i know. but if i keep losing money, it's not a career. it's a degen habit.

i won the 100k on stars in late march. that money is gone. just [censored] evaporated into thin air on bad stakes and bad runs. oh yeah and i got [censored] in a staking deal too. i'm just so miserable / pissed off right now. long run, short run, whatever, nothing is more discouraging than playing a long session where you mix up stakes and games and you don't win at a single one of them. i really need something to drag me out of this. in case you can't tell i have really bad emotional control when it comes to poker.

this isn't helped by the fact that i've gotten sloppy and lazy with myself since that WSOP FT. i learned my lesson about being strung out at events and not playing over my head, but i'm still losing even after moving back down.

anyway. bbv, do something to cheer me up. or if you hate me, do something to remind me of what a [censored] i am.

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ASpiderMonkey]

Just take a 3 day break, take a midnight walk, or get extra sleep. Play less and take a lot of breaks.

[Spechel EDD]

hey nath you can vent to me in like an hour on aim if you want

[Heavens_Myst]

i play 6.50/16s, and nl50, want me to stake u??

[Heavens_Myst]

o and sometimes i dabble in the 1.20s...

[ASpiderMonkey]

Usually for me the midnight walk really calms me down. Especially if its raining or really warm.

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ QUOTE ]
hey nath you can vent to me in like an hour on aim if you want

[/ QUOTE ]

he needs to watch deadliest catch first!

[dboy23]

[ QUOTE ]
Usually for me the midnight walk really calms me down. Especially if its raining or really warm.

[/ QUOTE ]

I never thought of that. Sounds like a decent enough idea. I might get jacked though.

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
Just take a 3 day break, take a midnight walk, or get extra sleep. Play less and take a lot of breaks.

[/ QUOTE ]
i just finished like a 6 week stretch where i played like a total of 6 tournaments

brag: found my weed, not as depressed anymore