Greatest table chat (very long, but insightful)

Pokertini · #1 02-14-2006, 07:02 PM

Lively table conversation today, I thought some of you might enjoy. I learned a lot.

(I have QJ and call from LP. Board QQ5. I bet the flop and villain calls. Turn K, villain leads, I raise, he 3 bets. I call. River is a 5 for a board of QQ5K5. Villain bets, I call. He shows Q7 and we split the pot.)
Villain: omg..only in here..sighs
Hero: at least I gave you credit for spiking a full house on the turn :-)
Villain: its not you sir..its how they have this corrupt toliet programmed...just ruins the game
Hero: why, because you drew out on me?
Villain: you really dont see what is happening in here do you?
Hero: it was my pot and you lucked out when the board paired, I saw it
Villain: lol...its HOW it got to that point..and the hand before it..so the majority of all the others..its all about the rake gomer..open your eyes..for Gods sake man...dont just be mindless baffoon waiting on feeds..understand the game
Player1: wow
Hero: I'm comfortable in my understanding of the game
Villain: have you any clue..or is there someone at the house with you ..who might actually share with you the true ODDS of what just happened in those two hands..actually happening?
Hero: you mean that 4 queens were dealt and there are 4 queens in a regulation deck of cards?
Villain: and the four aces..both with outstanding kickers that must be played..lol..yes. forget it..just sit there eating your gruel..and hope the feed machine is set on your seat today as usual

(Villain limps EP, I raise in position with KQo Flop rags. He checks, I bet he calls. Turn blank. He checks, I bet he
calls. River is a Queen. He checks, I bet he calls. Villain shows AJs)
Villain: lol
Hero: hey, at least we're even
Villain: knew you didnt have the goods..so of course..they provide you with it
Hero: yeah, party and I are working together
Villain: read you called you..got partyhumped again..sighs. nothing wrong with your flop bet..after that...proper play is check...but of course..you play it badly..even though your read..then they feed you ..for building the rake. beautiful
Hero: so, if I keep raising they get more rake... then they pay me off? hmmm. that is an argument I've never heard before
Villain: they track everyones betting habits..those who make headless plays on a regular basis..catch more rivers than solid plays..they need to keep you in chips..you make the house money
Player2: i play live 7 days a week and the same thing happens live
Player2: the better u play the more ofter u take tough beats
Villain: I will say no more...carry on the way you are...hard to explain things unless they are in spotlights to slack jawed mouth breathers like yourself
Hero: slack jawed mouth breathers, I really like that.
Villain: just a comparison..between chin drooling idiots on goverment assistance..and your type..getting river fed to help you along... but hey..if its offered..never turn down a freebie..just dont fool yourself into thinking your playing holdem...the game your on hoss is go fish.....nope kinney..your butt-hole buddy there (referring to me, of course) call the reraise..close dem eyes..and chase er down...YEEEEEEEEEEhaw
Villain: and oh..btw..Player2..NOBODY plays live 7 days a week..lie better please
Villain: top hand..is posion more often than not IF..its in the mode its in right now..they are feeding fish this cycle
Hero: are you able to tell when the mode switches?
Villain: the program doesnt recognize it as fishing..if its a solid odds draw
Hero: I'm really trying to understand this... so if you have odds to draw, nothing happens but if you DON'T have odds Party does something to inflate rake is this correct?

(A player has pocket aces, hits top set on the flop and it holds up.)
Hero: top set held up there, guess cycle is off now
Villain: the timing is everything..your pot committed..PLUS..it teaches the noobs...GO ALL THE WAY..pay to see the magic river...just sad...why shouldnt the top two pair hit the boat on the river more often than the chasing two outer?...better odds..but you dont see it nearly as much...I wonder why? and yet..so few seem to even notice...always easy to tell who the live action players are..and the internet Gods

(Villain has 77, hangs through the hand with 2 other players and 2 overcards on the flop, he spikes a set on the river.)
Hero: cycle is on
Player3: see it happens to u too
Villain: that doesnt make it right..you missed the whole point
Player3: i know i was just saying
Villain: win or lose..the program is corrupted..and its for a reason
Player3: why do u play here then?
Villain: because..it can be used in your favor
Player4: you shouldnt talk about it or theyll show up in their black helicopters with bigfoot
Villain: thats a pretty witty retort..for a simply minded ass-clown like you lamename
Hero: I still think slack jawed mouth breathers was your best insult