Woman Situation

[GambleGamble]

cliff notes at bottom....WOW this is long, please read and help or flame me so Im not a retard anymore...

I rarely come across a situation in which I am stumped as to which direction to take, usually its fairly cut and dry. Either pursue or show indifference, in this case the mixed singles have me somewhat confused....

...so a little backstory

Had seen the girl around work, not often as she works in an entirely differenct area, so she rarely was out in Gen Pop., for rating purposes she is a 6 (general consesus from a large contingent of friends)...and no there will not be pics...

...so I approach said girl, hold quick conversations but nothing special, and also come across her affinity for out local hockey team, which I also bave. So I worked up the effort to ask her to a game as I regularly had tickets. She agrees.......I also hear good things come out of her department that she is excited to go, so I look forward to it....

...so we go to the game, chat a little, meet up with some of my friends (2 couples) for drinks during the game, she is quiet as she knows no one but me, but we seem to get along and have a good time....we even have plans to go out after, but as it gets to that point, she states she is tired and would like to go home.....I a little shocked but drop her off and get no hug nor kiss...basically nothing (but she had broken touch barrier earlier, nothing major)...so the next day I text and call to no avail...I assume of course I am blown off...no big deal....

....so a couple weeks pass and we are still friendly when running into each other, and I get word from a co-worker that she likes me as a friend yadayada...so I take it as that....over the next 2 months, we actually step up our friendship through work emails and texts etc...and even to the point where she calls me to come out but I cant make it and she is coming to hang with me but gets into a car accident....so my thought process is whatever, take it as it is and see what happens.....assuming friendship

....so just recently my sisters birthday passes and she works within the area she does and they all decide to go out after work, which I go to for a short period of time. Now during this time, one of the others women there meniton me taking out another girl just the week prior and I dont deny it but kinda brush by the subject as I amd hanging out with this girl and dont want her to be put off etc...I even ask her of she wants to do something the following weekend and she readily agrees to go out with me before we meet up with a bunch of her work friends...

...i ended up having to go back to work, but on the way back I get a text from girl asking

"Who is Shannon"

"I know 600 Shannons"

"The one in letters"

"Oh her...a friend I took to a game last week, why are you jealous, remember it was you who stopped talking to me"

....she basically ignores my statement and doesnt respond for a while, so I chalk it up to nothing, that simply she was [censored] with me.

BUT

...I call my sister a couple hours later to make sure she made it home OK, and talk with her a minute, even mentioning the girl and ask if they messed with her about the jealousy thing, but totally as a joke...my sister responds that she is in fact jealous, quite jealous to be exact and that she ACTUALLY really likes me, I question as to whom she heard it from, and she states directly from the girls lips herslef WTF?

...so everything has changed..right?

...I end up calling her the next day and seeing if she wants to do dinner the next day which happened to be last night....she immediately agrees and out plans are set to eat, watch the hockey game and have a couple drinks....

....she ends up calling 2 hours prior and asking if later in the night her friend can hang out who had a bad day...I say no problem as Im not gonna be a dick...

...so we eat dinner, talk, etc etc....she then goes to pick up her friend and meet me at the bar later

...so the night progresses and I think we are really hitting it off etc, but we have to keep an eye on her friend who gets hammered (she throws up in her car later BTW) in the meantime she ends up going to the bathroom and I am left to talk to her friend, who out of no where states

"she likes you as a friend you know" WTF?

I act indifferent, but inside I am of course annoyed and try and dig a little deeper, but the friend just rambles on about other subjects as she is annoyingly drunk...

...they decide to leave, but are gonna grab food and the girl demands I go, and even states he wants me to come hang out with her the next day...

I go eat with them, and when we leave...again there is no hug or anything etc, and I tell her to call me when she gets home and if she wants me to go out tomorrow to call me, shes says OK...

...she lets me know when she is home, advises me of the puke situation and I respond via text

"Had fun with you, If you wanna hang out give me a call, Ill leave it up to you as I honestly have no clue if you want to"

She says goodnight but doesnt respond???

So now what, should I just give up completely put it in her hands, or should I wait til all our scheduled plans are over, and then directly ask her what the [censored]? Or can OOT advise me a much better course of action....or feel free to ridicule me as much as possible so I can get this broad out fo my head...

Cliff Notes

Met girl, took out, no sparks, maintain contact, months pass, we hang out again, I hear actually does like me as she tells my sister, I re pursue, get the meh again and her drunk friend says friends only, but she makes all kinds of plans to hang out more...so now what? or just make fun of me, hopefully some good advice flows from OOT braintrust

[daryn]

give up

serious reply btw

i guess i'll expound,

she's already giving you the push/pull, very extreme case. sounds like you really want to make it work with this girl, and maybe she knows that. you have to get to the point where you really don't care if it works out with this girl or with anyone else. just look elsewhere like it sounds like you were doing. if she expresses interest in you again, don't bite right away, if at all.

[sylar]

[ QUOTE ]
"Oh her...a friend I took to a game last week, why are you jealous, remember it was you who stopped talking to me"

[/ QUOTE ]

i am quite sure you won't take this as good advice, but that's quite possibly the worst way you to respond to her question.

this girls sounds like a lot of trouble. car wreck, bitchy friends, possibly issues. if you are not really interested, move on.

[esad]

She is nuts and likes you as a friend.

That's basically it. She wouldn't have invited her friend to go along with you on your "date" if she really wanted to bang you.

Your mistake is trying to play it safe. You should have made sure she knew that the first date, was a real date. It seemed like this was a little grey and perhaps she thought it was just two friends who liked hockey going to a game. It really seems like you are also sending mixed signals. Man up and don't play it safe.

Stop talking to her. If she asks why, explain that you want to bone her. Either you will bone her or you'll stop talking to her completely. Problem solved.

[MissT74]

She doesn't know if she wants you or not but is leaning towards the not wanting you but wants to keep you close by just in case she changes her mind.

Major issues and drama forseen, dump her now.

T

[GambleGamble]

Daryn,
I generally play indifferent in these situations, but its one of those few that gets in my head, as Im not sure of her intentions based in information Ive obtained from others?


sylar,
I agree in looking back it wasnt the best way to put it, I probably shouldnt have breached that topic at all. The car accident was a little bumper tap at a light when someone stalled in front of her...her friend really wasnt bitchy but I didnt appreciate her "friends" comment...and unfortunatly I do enjoy hanging out with her and gettng to know her so there in lies my conondrum


esad,
All women are inherently crazy right? I was a little put off by the friend coming out later, but we did do dinner alone, and my friends were gonna be around later unless I totally tried to avoid them but I didnt as to give the indifference attitude, which seems to have backfired obviously

[guids]

GambleGable-

Some chicks only want what they cant have.

Advice for dudes: always go by a girls actions, not her words.

Advice for chicks: always go by a dudes words not his actions.


Im sure you know this, and Im sure you are going to respond to my post with a "but..she did etc", and while ya, whatever she was a little more extreme than most, it doesnt matter, it all boils down to the fact she wants what she cant have. In fact, as an experiement, what you should do is get her in a group social situation, and start hitting on some random chick in front of her, see if you cant at least get laid, some chicks will go that far because they are crazy.

[By-Tor]

It has been long enough. Take her out again and go in for the kiss. If she is standoffish, write her off, if not, proceed...

Don't spend another minute thinking about it. No good comes from thinking in these situations.

[GambleGamble]

Miss,
Ill run before any major issues/drama unravel


Guids,
true so true...I will you use a version of this advice either way, as its a step I use...just gotta hope she recontact so I can pull it out of the holster


By-Tor,
If it comes up again, im hitting her with the straight up date situation nothing else, and will definately press the issue...thanks

**

...one thing I am glad that has come with old age is the ability to not call and not text and compound the situation when sober or drunk, which I think will help the situation and push her out of my head much much quicker

[bkholdem]

[ QUOTE ]


Cliff Notes

Met girl, took out, no sparks, maintain contact, months pass, we hang out again, I hear actually does like me as she tells my sister, I re pursue, get the meh again and her drunk friend says friends only, but she makes all kinds of plans to hang out more...so now what? or just make fun of me, hopefully some good advice flows from OOT braintrust

[/ QUOTE ]

If you value her company as a friend go hang out, but make sure she pays fully for herself (or treats you). Don't be a chump and pay for girls your not already sexing.