What kind of player do i want to be?

[Pasterbator]

Welp, get ready to read a bunch of babbling, bc i need to get it out somewhere. I have been thinking this over for a few months now and honestly, i have come up with no solution. Lets try to talk this out.

WHAT KIND OF PLAYER DO I WANT TO BE?

The way i see it, in poker there are 3 kinds of players:

The fish.
The grinder. (10-12 tabling decent MSNL player)
The best. (really really good and plays high stakes)

The fish sucks. Lets not talk about him.

What im trying to decide for myself is the following - do i want to be a grinder, or do i want to move up stakes and really try to be one of the best players?!

Very quick background:

I beat 200NL - 600NL for 7bb/100 at party (who didnt?!!?) before we got fristed.

Since the switch to stars, im somewhere around 5ptbb at 400NL (almost all 12tabling) and 3ptbb at 600NL.

My hourly rate 12 tabling 2/4 on STARS (10 tabling according to PT) is ~$420/hr.

To run some numbers really quick, at 5/10, a 3bb/100 winner, 8 tabling comes out to $480. (And of course they have to deal with 5 digit swings)

From looking at many datamined sources, there are not many people beating 5/10 for 3ptbb and certainly not many that 8 table.

All that said, my point is as follows: What is my motivation to get better? What is my motivation to move up? Do i want to be one of the best players or a grinder?!

I know this post looks like a bunch of rambling, and it is to a point, but i guess what im asking is - Is it ever ok to just give up on your quest for being the best? ATM, i just dont want to put in the time it takes to get GREAT, and i am comfortable being a decent 12 tabling MSNLer who makes "nice" money.

I have approached 5 different coaches in the last few months all of which undoubtedly would have improved my gave tenfold. Why do i keep backing out? Why dont i want to put the effort in to improve? Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing?

FWIW, ive played one day of poker in the last month bc i have been lazy and on vacation and just enjoying life. I really really wanna get back into making money bc i have a real life goal im trying to reach.

I know we have a few great players and a lot of "mediocre grinders" in MSNL so id like to hear the different point of views and hopefully sway my decision one way or the other.