I made out with a fat chick last night... (A Trip Report)

[ElDuque]

Alternative Title: How you don't need PUA geekery to get action.

Part 1:

I ran into my buddy Tim earlier this week and he suggested we go out for St. Paddy's day on Friday. We didn't realize until Thursday that St. Paddy's day is actually Saturday, but whatev, I have a familiy obligation that is preventing me from going out tonight anyways. So, we decided to stick with our plans to do our boozing on Friday.

Tim was all about checking out this new upscale club in town. I was a little hesitant being that I am trying to spend less frivolously and that we are both older students (26 & 29) and I associate this club with a buncha working stiffs whom I generally don't care to hang out with. But, again, whatev -- there is no cover and Im sure we'll have a good time.

We decide that I'll park in a campus lot and Tim will pick me from there b/c this seems like the most effecient way to roll to the club together. Figuring that Tim might be late, I bring a cup of whisky to sip to kill time. Luckily he is about 20 minutes late, so I chill and sip whisky and listen to ambient music on the radio, which was pretty relaxing actually. I was positively reflecting on the last 4 1/2 years I've been a student here (I'll graduate in May). I have a buzz going when he pulls up. We are off to the club.

When we get there we see that there aint shyit goin down. We elect to park in a secluded area and start boozing on the beers that Tim brought until things liven up. We have a good convo going on for about an hour while we get semi-drunk. Then we cruise over to da club and see that it is still dead as shyit. We figure we'll go in and have a drink and see whats up and then probably leave.

Problem -- bouncers won't let me in because my Steve Madden shoes don't meet their dress code. I'm like, "You're kidding right?" Dude tells me, "Nah brah, management doesn't like the Steve Madden look with the laces." Incredulously, I laugh and we start heading back to the car while we discuss how freaking lame that policy is. The shoes are far more dressy than tennis-shoey, but, again, whatev -- We're chillin', buzzin and now heading back to the college bar scene.

On are way back to the car we run into these older Italian dudez who we discuss the dress code shoe policy with. All of sudden, one dude goes off about how the strict dress code is designed to ensure racial homogeneity in the club. Then busts out with this memorobale line: "You know what the problem is, you're not dressed enough like a n[ ] to get in." Okay there, bro....

On the car ride to the college bars I decide that 1.) if anything, that guy's analysis is true only in the reverse, 2.) it's probably not true and management is just weird, and 3.) I really dont appreciate idiots dropping n-bombs on me in public -- or anywhere for that matter.

Finally, we hit a popular college bar which is about half-full, which is pretty comfortable for me. We immediately down some whisky, buy some cigs and light up. Then we are off to find some hoes.

I'm not even gonna front with you guys: while I work-out, dress well and have a pretty outgoing personality, I am also geeky and due to many factors (pokah and depression, for instance) I have been pretty shut in the last couple years. My chick skillz and confidence are diminished. Tim, OTOH, is super confident and awfully smooth. I told him about my lack of confidence and he was cool about it and was totally willing to help me out. He seemed to have confidence in me whih didnt hurt. None the less, still having a great time.

After making some small talk with a couple trashy 6's at the bar we head towards the dance floor. BTW, at this point we are both pretty skunked. I know I have drank quite a bit up til now and I am craving whisky like a mutha still -- love it! Anyhow, Tim quickly starts chatting up a couple pretty good looking chicks who turn out to be about 30. One is a 7 blonde and the other a 6ish brunette who has a nice petite body and nice face, but is dressed like she is in HS or something.

We follow the gurls to the air hockey table where they play a match while I chat up the 6 and Tim the 7. Seven -- very competitive-- totally dominates the 6, so Tim winds up playing the 7 -- from there they spend pretty much all of their time together for the rest of the night. Air hockey, who knew?

In the meantime, three of these gurlz friends show up at the air hockey table. One is a really hot brunette -- def an 8.5 with a great slim bod, the other, of course, is her bf and the third is pudgy short chick with a cute face -- I give her a 4.

I gotta take a break....TBC

[calmB4storm]

No, don't leave me hanging!!!!!!!!1!!!11

[kmak]

wtf

we are all assuming that you made out with the 4 and decided to slit you throat in shame in the middle of the tr gg

[Toro]

What is ambient music on the radio?

[john voight]

isn't it St. Patties Day?

[Toro]

[ QUOTE ]
isn't it St. Patties Day?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, they went Friday night.

[scotchnrocks]

[ QUOTE ]

I gotta take a break....TBC

[/ QUOTE ]

whatev...are you skunked?

[ut2010]

you couldnt even sex a 4?

[TripSearching]

[ QUOTE ]

I'm not even gonna front with you guys: while I work-out, dress well and have a pretty outgoing personality, I am also geeky and due to many factors (pokah and depression, for instance) I have been pretty shut in the last couple years. My chick skillz and confidence are diminished.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are so money and you don't even know it.

[john voight]

fat chicks rule btw as long as they are no more than 137% of your weight