Anyone here an older brother to a sister? (long, serious)

P.Dirty · #1 02-11-2006, 11:34 PM

Background: I'm 21, in my final semester at NYU, and i've probably spoken to my sister a handful of times over the past 4 years. My sister is an 8th grader (13 yrs old) in Columbus, Ohio, a "star" on the basketball team, and an honor roll student. When ever I am home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or a weekend over the summer, she always tries to give me a big hug, mostly to annoy me though I think, because she knows that I hate it when she does this. After I came back to NYC after Christmas, my sister IMed me for the first time ever and we've had a few conversations since.

Story: My sister IMs me today saying hi, and I start a small conversation with her. While doing so I look at her AIM profile. There is this very long quote that i'm assuming she got from some lyric or movie that I have not heard of about how she wants to be in love with some guy. And on top of that, there is this boy's name, yesterday's date, and the words "i love you". Now, I'm assuming that the boy passed her a note yesterday that said "check yes or no", and this is the day they have started to 'date'. When I saw this, I asked her to take out the words "i love you" out of her profile, because she obviously doesn't know what the words mean, and she repeatedly told me that she "wasn't going to do anything stupid". Now I was a kid a few years ago, and I remember saying "I'm not going to do anything stupid" to my parents, and then usually ended up doing something stupid. I told her that if she didn't take it out, that I was going to tell mom and dad (who would throw a [censored] fit).

I trust my sister to a certain degree, but at the same time, I feel like it's a little early for her to be saying i love you to a boy, and DEFINATELY too young to be doing anything that some of you pedophiles are thinking about right now.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Or what have you done being in this situation? Should I involve my parents in this (I'm assuming they haven't given her any birds and the bees speech since I never got that speech), or should I let my sister make her own decisions/mistakes in the matter?

And no I won't give you my sister's phone number or post pics.

Alobar · #2 02-11-2006, 11:37 PM

weak dude. You want to get involved with your sisters life and tell her whats what, yet you only talk to her a handful of times over 4 years and dont even want a hug from her the rare times you see her? get a clue

27offsuit · #3 02-11-2006, 11:38 PM

If you think 8th grade is too young for three holes and two hands, you are sorely mistaken sir.

And you should talk to your sister more.

bisonbison · #4 02-11-2006, 11:40 PM

Check yes.

correia · #5 02-11-2006, 11:41 PM

I think you're taking this a little too far. You telling your parents will accomplish nothing and will just strain your relationship with her even more.

highlife · #6 02-11-2006, 11:41 PM

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weak dude. You want to get involved with your sisters life and tell her whats what, yet you only talk to her a handful of times over 4 years and dont even want a hug from her the rare times you see her? get a clue

[/ QUOTE ]

exactly. you have been a crappy brother and now you wanna get involved in something petty like this? its not like she is on drugs, doing something illegal, severely depressed or thinking about hurting herself. she has a boyfriend, big f-ing deal.

Tony_P · #7 02-11-2006, 11:42 PM

Dirty,

I also have a younger sister (18), and a cousin who is 14. The 14 year old's myspace page is filled with creepy [censored] like that, and I sometimes wish I could say something to her about it, but I think kids that age don't understand what love means and I think that generation just throws it around flippantly like some 2+2er throw around [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]'s

"Now I was a kid a few years ago, and I remember saying "I'm not going to do anything stupid" to my parents, and then usually ended up doing something stupid."

So did I. We're both alive right? If you trust your sister and you trust your judgement, just let it be. What I would say, and have said to my sister in the past, is some general advice, about not [censored] up her life, and the such.

edit: Don't tell your parents, it will undoubtably make things worse.

P.Dirty · #8 02-11-2006, 11:43 PM

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If you think 8th grade is too young for three holes and two hands, you are sorely mistaken sir.

[/ QUOTE ]

Whether you are joking or not, this is what I'm afraid of.

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And you should talk to your sister more.

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I am in the process of doing this. The hardest part about the thing is that there is a huge, 8 year gap between us. I can talk to her about basketball and from when I used to play, but beyond that, I'm not much interested in talking about what Stephanie was wearing yesterday, or who Brittany was holding hands with in study hall.

P.Dirty · #9 02-11-2006, 11:45 PM

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I think you're taking this a little too far. You telling your parents will accomplish nothing and will just strain your relationship with her even more.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think it will hurt our relationship. She said "I don't care, go ahead, tell them" in our conversation. Obviously, I know she would rather me not tell them, but I feel like there could be some good that comes out of a conversation about boys between my mom and sister.

bisonbison · #10 02-11-2006, 11:48 PM

I'm not much interested in talking about what Stephanie was wearing yesterday, or who Brittany was holding hands with in study hall.

Which is why she's not gonna listen to you. She's in junior high, what do you think they talk about? Who do you think she listens to right now? She talks to her girlfriends, who help her parse every single perceived change in their social environment.

If you don't accept what's important to her, she'll never pay attention to what you have to say.