Wanking Proves Inteligent Design (Cross post from Train Wreck).

[The once and future king]

There is no doubt in my mind that wanking proves ID.

Firstly let us imagine a world without wanking. Society wouldnt be possible. Rape, non consentual buggery and chaos would ensue enmass and frustrated teenagers would rampage through the "streets" (Streets would probably not exist).

So we have the God given gift of wanking to solve this problem and make the community of man and society possible and hence culture writing art etc etc.

However if wanking was too good, then again none of the above would be possible as we would never have felt the need to commune with each other in any way except maybe to hunt so we could eat and therefore live to spend another day in near perpetual wankathon in our caves.

So whilst wanking can seem really great at the time there is just enough of a feeling of dissatisfaction and slight nagging giult post wank to make one ultimately seek the embrace of a sexual partner.

So if we could compute the neccesary wank balance to act as balm to frustration yet still leave the desire to mate with another human being and hence make human society possible, we would arrive at a big long number.

84859843590003454.54456464764843 according to my calculations.

If just one of these numbers is by out just a single decimal place then the wank balance is broken and human beings would never have evolved the skills necesary to write the Bible. Without the wank balance being just right the Bible could never have happened.

What are the chances of the wank balance occuring exactly right without the invisible hand of a higher entity?

Therefore wank balance theory (Jerkoff matrix resolution theory to you yanks) proves ID.

[GoldSlugger]

this is the stupidest I've read in a while.

edit: besides, this doesn't prove anything. The odds of the big bang happening were incredibly small as well, but given an infinite timeline odds don't matter.

[Riddick]

I would also include in your thesis the stress-relief function that stroking off serves in high stress situations.

[The once and future king]

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edit: besides, this doesn't prove anything. The odds of the big bang happening were incredibly small as well, but given an infinite timeline odds don't matter.

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Dont get me started on how Satan tried to criple Humanity by removing their sarcasm detectors.

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this is the stupidest I've read in a while.

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Given that you took my post seriously, can I ask you if you know when the camera was invented?

[WhoIam]

I dare you to post this on a Christian board.

[Alobar]

the anthropic principle hard at work

[LionelHutz00]

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I dare you to post this on a Christian board.

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I double dog dare you!

[diebitter]

Nope.

Both the tensions you described by lack of wanking and the lack of breeding you imply by too-satisfying wanking would create strong evolutionary pressures against either extreme (ie the individuals involved would not create offspring as successfully as those not involved, put simply). Therefore the case for wanking proving ID is fundamentally flawed.

[Kamakaze22]

How many of us here already have accounts on that Jehovah's Witness page? Under the science category..

This thread wins the ever coveted "copy and paste, man" award!

Justin