Teaching Bruiser how to iron clothes. A trip report.

[snorer]

since Bruiser is such a hot topic of conversation I figure I should post a story which is basically just about my favorite memory of hanging out with him. Hope you guys enjoy.

So a few months back, during the Festa Al Lago tournament at Bellagio, Bruiser was kind enough to let me stay with him and his friend Martin in a room they had at Bellagio, so I wouldn't have to make the troop to and from the Monte Carlo every day.

1 night the 3 of us made plans to go out to some bars and meet up with some other 2+2ers that were in town. So I break out 1 of the nicer button down shirts I brought with me and ask Bruiser where the ironing board was kept in the room. He asked me "you're going to iron your clothes?", in a tone not unlike the tone you would use if you had to ask someone if they were really about to stick their dick in an electrical outlet. So I tell him yes and of course he asks why? "...because they're wrinkled" was just about all I could come up with, thinking you know, maybe there was just some way he didn't come to that conclusion himself or there was some other reasonable misunderstanding. Anyway, I head into the bathroom and as I'm setting up the ironing board and pouring water in the iron he comes strolling in. "How do you iron?" he throws at me. Huhhhhhhhhhhhh? One thing leads to another and I realize he's definitely not busting my balls- he really doesn't know how to iron clothes. I'm amazed more than I can put into words, so when he asks me if I'll teach him how to iron I can't help but say yes. I tell him to get his clothes and I'll iron them for him and show him how to do it.

He tosses a pair of black slacks at me and a blue dress shirt. I believe they were both Armani. Visible stains all over both of 'em, especially the pants. Now is where it gets good. I make some wise crack or something about now that he knows how to iron, all he has to do is learn how to wash clothes and he'll be all good to go. Quote of the century: "ironing doesn't clean the clothes too?". [censored]! Now I'm back to square one thinking he's really screwing with me... but I can't help but get hysterical and blurt out "dude, are you busting my balls? Seriously... for real... did you just ask me that question? You're not [censored] with me, man?" and the like over and over. Nope. Kid is as serious as a heart attack. "I thought the steam you know, it would get the dirt out". Wow. Just.... wow. It was absolutely baffling to me that I could have that dialog with a 22 year old kid I was watching play 200/400 NL the night before. But hey, those of you that know Bruiser probably know what I'm talking about, and those that don't... well, that's the story I use to describe him when people ask, so take from it what you will. No 2 snowflakes are alike is 1 hell of an understatement.

So anyway, if any of you guys are ever out on the town with Bruiser, and you see him wearing a nicely pressed up shirt, maybe even a crease in his pants, you now know who to thank. And if he looks like he just rolled outta bed, well hey... we all fail sometimes... just know that I tried my best.

[Phresh]

pacifist ashman: haha so i totally got this sucker to iron my clothes for me the other day

[cbloom]

I have no idea how to iron. I do, however, know it doesn't get the dirt out.

[tboss888]

Did Bruiser grow up in a bubble? How do you not absorb everyday things like this? Unless his parents were mega hippies and never ironed a thing.

[daryn]

i don't know how to iron either.. sick. i mean i get the general idea but i'm probably the least efficient ironer in the world.

[miajag]

Bruiser,



"You're the dumbest smart kid I know!"

[edfurlong]

I'm pretty sure bruiser is awesome.

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
Bruiser,



"You're the dumbest smart kid I know!"

[/ QUOTE ]
Haha James Vanderbeek. Whatever happened to that guy?

[RaMz123]

Standard.

[NT!]

i know in theory how to iron but i just really suck at it. that's why we let kyleb's family in this country, right?

nice trip report.