Poetry Inspired By the (Poker)Stars

[CraigNY]

Dear LAGtard - I see that Mr. Ungar is your avatar;
do you think his rotting bones just puked a bit
when you pushed duece trey into that all broadway flop?



For one brief moment
I was on top of the world
Then, the board paired



Sir, when you called --
and your silly little hand
was exposed --
I must admit I pictured you
sitting in your sad little home
looking for all the world
like Jack Nicholson
at the end of
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest



Pardon me if I take some offense
that you are apparently 12-years old
and can reraise post-flop
more than I make in a week.



When announcing preflop that you have your "favorite hand";
Do not be surprised later that I knew you had jack ten;
It is every idiot's "favorite hand".


Do you ever ponder,
Mr. 70/30,
Why there are always,
10 players waiting,
to get to your table?
It is not,
I fear,
a compliment.



There once was a player from North Mage;
Whose aggression, he believed, could not be upstaged;
But when the chips went in;
He was stacked again;
And now he works for minimum wage.


My wife awakens;
My baby cries.
You, sir, from 3,000 miles away,
Have put my family in turmoil
On this cold, dark night.
All because you hit
Your god damned
Inside straight draw,
And I was forced to scream
Much like a little girl.



Oh benevolent poker gods,
please hear this prayer,
as I have a minor clarification.
When I say the name of a card --
aloud,
with fear
and consternation
in my voice --
making it appear on the river
is the opposite of what I want.

[so sick bro]

n'oh

[morphball]

[ QUOTE ]
My wife awakens;
My baby cries.
You, sir, from 3,000 miles away,
Have put my family in turmoil
On this cold, dark night.
All because you hit
Your god damned
Inside straight draw,
And I was forced to scream
Much like a little girl.


[/ QUOTE ]

This is the best, IMO

[eurythmech]

If that was the best then tl;dr indeed, and OP should die in a fire.

[rndm]

F

[captainwacky]

[ QUOTE ]
Pardon me if I take some offense
that you are apparently 12-years old
and can reraise post-flop
more than I make in a week.



[/ QUOTE ]

bitter much?

[nervous cop]

nh, sir. Very funny stuff.

[CraigNY]

Nah...it's all in good fun.