Mormon self-discipline, applied to poker?

[beenben]

At this link they list the rather strict rules for Mormon missionaries:

Mormon missionary rules

Those rules adapted for and applied to poker players:

+Get the F out of bed and in some clothes other than pajjamas. Take a shower, comb your hair, shave. get a haircut once in a while

+ wash your clothes

+ don't wear bling

+when in live games, avoid swearing and talking like a Morawn (dude, like), avoid telling other players how bad they are. When on the Interweb, swear out loud all you want and type nasty stuff into a word processor. In the chat box, it should be nh, wp, etc.

+for interweb players, clean your F*ing pad once in a while

+get a car wash

+lock your lathe and put a towel under it so that it doesn't stain the carpet

+get some excercise.

+don't use your cell when at a live table.

+stay off the phone and the Interweb when playing on the interweb. distractions are -EV.

+drink lots of caffeine

+be sure to post hands and AIM other players. don't discuss poker with non-players.

+listen to whatever rmusic puts you in the right mood for poker

+play within your bankroll

+do not turn children into gamblers until age 8.

+do something fun such as an amusement park, movie, shoot pool, etc. that is not related to poker once in a while

+take some time each day at the end of the day to review how you did and make a plan for tomorrow; at the end of each week, analyze how you did the last week and make a plan for the next week

+keep your mouth shut.

+don't show hands that you don't have to show.

+make a poker-playing schedule and stick to it. quit at quitting time. exception: you're in a tournament. then quit when the tournament is over.

[JackWilson]

While the poker adaptation is unbelievably lame, the Mormon rules (to someone who knows very little about Mormons) are absolutely shocking. I can't possibly imagine someone choosing to become a Mormon missionary. I'm totally freaked out by how horrible it sounds.

[MrMon]

[ QUOTE ]
While the poker adaptation is unbelievably lame, the Mormon rules (to someone who knows very little about Mormons) are absolutely shocking. I can't possibly imagine someone choosing to become a Mormon missionary. I'm totally freaked out by how horrible it sounds.

[/ QUOTE ]

But it's the only way to get the secret underwear. And if you know anything about Mormans, the underwear is the key to all. Without it, you're nothing in the Morman community.

[cbloom]

The link is awesome. They're like Navy Seals For God. I was surprised how strict this was :

• You may call home [only] on Mother's Day and Christmas for 45 minutes.

My favorite :

<font color="white">
• The Mall of America is off limits to missionaries.
</font>

lololo

[Five-Star]

[ QUOTE ]
They're like Navy Seals For God.

[/ QUOTE ]

Fantastic

[Iplayboard]

The community that I grew up in was about 50% Mormon (LDS is the more politically correct term). I had friends (though none of them were really my best friends) go on missions. To an outsider it feels really weird, like "Why the [censored] would anyone do that?"

I'm sure some of them genuinely believe everything they are taught but I suspect many of them just do it because of social pressure.

Their entire family is Mormon and as long as they serve their mission for 2 years and be good little Mormons who go to church every week they can marry an attractive Mormon girl, have 5 kids with her, work as a dentist and be a respected member of the community.

And of course there are rebel Mormons who I knew that (gasp) drank, did drugs and had premarital sex in high school. Some went on to missions when they were 19 and "cleaned up", others did not.

Needless to say, I got the [censored] out of there as soon as I graduated.

[durkahdurkah]

[ QUOTE ]
• Always wear a helmet.

[/ QUOTE ]

hahahahahaha