Trip Report: How I almost died.

[absoludicrous]

I'm going to try and make this as entertaining as possible. Bear with me here.

February 6th, 2007: 8:30 AM

The morning started out just as any. The painter came over about 8:30, my two dogs barking at him, and me awaking to 2" of fresh snow. The first thing that came to my mind was "[censored], the day's already [censored]."

My buddy Jake and I were scheduled to be in Mankato, MN by 1:50 PM for a campus tour of Mankato, State Univ. At 2:00 would be our meeting with a college advisor. In order to make the 1:50 tour, I figured we'd need to leave Maple Grove, MN by 12:00 pm, no later due to [censored] road conditions.

My buddy Dan spent the night, and I had to hurry his ass home. As I was taking him home, there's a winding stretch of road. The sign marks the turn at 30 MPH, I was doing between 25-30, in my 1988 Dodge Daytona (Shelby Turbo, badass), and as I'm coming out of turn two, approaching turn three, I lose the ass end. I skid up into the snowbank, and muscle the car out. [censored], roads are really bad. I tell myself to take it easy today, I don't like getting into accidents.

I drop Dan off and head to Jakes, we hop in Jakes '95 Explorer, and take Southbound 169 all the way to Mankato, it's about 115 miles. 169 is fairly dry. It appears the trucks were out earlier and the chemicals took affect. No presence of ice or snow. Bridges are a bit different though...

Just outside of Belle Plain, right before the huge Jolly Green Giant sign comes a sloping downhill stretch that goes on for roughly 3/4ths of a mile. At the bottom of the hill is the bridge that goes over the Minnesota river. Just as we reach the bottom of the hill before getting on the bridge Jake mentions something about how he hopes this bridge isn't slippery.

Now, on this stretch of 169 is the Minnesota River Valley. On either side are deep embankments, that slope at about 45 degree angles, and are about 275 feet below the interstate. The only thing keeping you from going off the road are these 40 year old rotted out posts that have three cables running through them.

Not even 20 yards after we get on the bridge does Jake mutter, "oh [censored]". I was just dozing off, and as soon as he said this, I was wide awake. As I open my eyes I notice Jake's trying to muscle the Explorer out of a vicious fish tail. The whole time I'm thinking, "come on [censored], straighten out", and "the [censored] is going on, this can't be happening, he just mentioned something about the slippery roads, and here we are losing control, [censored]." The truck fish tails twice, and Jake just cannot recover it.

We slide into dry pavement at a slight angle towards the [censored] embankment. Not good. As the front tires catch, we slingshot into the guard rail (if you can even call it that). I know what's coming next, we blow through the cables, and I tell Jake, "hold on buddy". Ala Dukes of Hazzard, we fly off the road, airborne. Not even a second later we slam partially nose first into the side of the embankment. All hell breaks loose.

I knew what the [censored] was going to happen and it did, we started rolling, side over side. We make the half rotation and the roof slams hard as [censored] on the side of the embankment. It's louder than [censored], and snow, glass, and debris is flying all over the place. Meanwhile Jake and I are dodging this [censored] Matrix style. All his tools, CD player, everything is just flying about the truck. Windows shattering, snow coming in, it's louder than [censored]. We proceed to roll another time, and the whole time I'm thinking, "when the [censored] is this [censored] gonna end?". I'm also wondering when my [censored] neck is gonna snap. I'm 6'5" and I had about two inches to give, and I used all of it, and then some. What seems like two rolls later we stop, I'm stunned as [censored], but conscious. I stumble out of the Explorer and am seeing stars like you wouldn't believe. I'm also surprised that I'm actually walking, and alive. Jake comes flying out of my side too. Immediately he goes to the ground and is bitching about his left shoulder. I'm still wandering about outside wondering what the [censored] just happened. He keeps telling me, "Tony, I need my cell phone, I don't have my cell phone." Not to mention he's in agony because of his shoulder. I trudge around in the 2' deep snow for five minutes, and give up, I can't find his phone. [censored] is strewn everywhere, electrical tools, glass, parts of the car, everything all over the place.

I look up towards the road and see a few motorists peering down at us, shouting "are you guys hurt, is everything ok?". A couple guys rush down and drag Jake some 260' up the embankment. Meanwhile I'm stumbling up the side of the hill as fast as I can, and I'm bleeding like a son of a bitch out of my knuckles and hands.

The ambulance arrives and they back board Jake. I'm out snapping pics of everything with my cell phone, and trying to contact anyone I can, while Jakes in the ambulance. Finally I get pulled into the ambulance, and I'm thinking to myelf, "this dude better not crash the ambulance."

We head to Le Seure hospital and are there for 6 hours. After sitting in the CT scan room for an hour strapped to the bed with a c-collar on, as uncomfortable as [censored] possible, they check me out and nothing is wrong. No internal bleeding, no bleeding of the brain, and no spinal injuries.

Jake on the other hand has a class 3 separated shoulder, and the doctor is just yanking on this thing to get it back in...no go.

The rest of the time was spent sitting in a waiting room eating granola bars, drinking Gatorade and making phone calls to friends and family, waiting for Jake's parents to pick us up.

Damn those little slipper booty things they give you in the hospital are uncomfortable.


p.s.- I think I'm gonna be a stunt man...

Pics to follow.



Cliff notes: Got in a horrible car wreck, rolled 3 times, should be dead, but I'm not cause I'm tough and lucky.

[smartalecc5]

Wow, glad you got of there alive... the whole country is so damn cold and snowy right now

[maryfield48]

Winter sucks, dude. Glad you are ok.

[cbloom]

Looking forward to the pictures.

ps. separated shoulder sucks balls, but it coulda been a lot worse.

[SkeetyMcdoogle]

hahah end of cliff notes is good stuff "I'm tough and lucky"

[_brady_]

Wow...a very similar thing happened to me a month ago.

I was driving my '86 Chevy Silverado on northbound I-25 (north of Denver). Same thing happened, I hit a bridge it's sheeted in black ice. Start to fishtail one way...the other way...back and forth. It suddenly spins me 90 degrees so the truck is perpendicular to the road and I'm sliding at a 45 degree angle towards the gaurd rail. Remarkably I'm really calm the entire time and remember pretty much everything...so I grip the wheel and brace for impact. It hits the guard rail. All I remember from this is my duffel bag from the passenger side flies across my face and lands in my lap. The front axle hits the guard rail and shoots me back off. I slide back across the interstate and end up pointed northbound in the left lane like nothing ever happened.

I pull off to the shoulder to survey the damage. The grill/lights and front bumper are [censored] up. The worst is the axle hit the guard rail and tweaked the frame so the right tire sat back against the half-mud flap thing on the wheel well. While I'm scoping things out a guy pulls up and asks if I'm okay..."Ya I'm fine". "Do you want me to call the police". I tell him no way, I get back in and get to the first exit as quickly as I could. Got on some back roads and drove it slowly the rest of the way home.

I was EXTREMELY lucky I didn't roll. I sold it on Craigslist for $1000, and am (hopefully) buying a new car this weekend.

[entertainme]

I know the spot well. Lucky you didn't end up in the river. I don't think I'd want them yanking on my shoulder in Le Seuer. Get me to the cities please!

[By-Tor]

crazy story....good job not getting dead

[absoludicrous]

[neuroman]

Wow good thing you weren't in a 1982 Datsun.