Trip Update for KatySeagull--and anyone else who's interested

[John Cole]

When my step-son Brian informed his sister, Kristin, that Joan was coming to spend a week or so at Christmas, Kristin decided to pay me a short visit. “So? What’s this I hear? Some random woman is coming to spend Christmas with you!” I tried to explain that Joan wasn’t exactly a “random” woman, but I’m not quite sure Kristin was buying my explanation. Kristin, by the way, inherited quite a few of her mother’s qualities; however, subtlety certainly isn’t one of those traits. When I let Joan know what Kristin said (and I did, of course), I explained that Kristin was joking. I’m not sure Joan was convinced, and I’m not sure whether or not I was convinced.

Joan arrived in Rhode Island (I hope you don’t mind if I add that she was the most beautiful woman descending the escalator into the baggage area) a couple days before Christmas, and we spent a bit of time getting reacquainted with Providence since Joan hadn’t been here, except for a very brief time, in twenty years. I tried to prepare her a bit, too, for what she would be facing even if she already had a pretty good idea. I told her to get ready for the audition, and she didn’t seem concerned by this at all. Both of us expected it from my family (I’m leaving out the kids here). After I visited Joan last summer, my mom worried that I would pack up and move to West Virginia. I told her at the time that I wasn’t going anywhere, explained that we both had jobs where we were, and tried to let her know as well that Joan and I were simply friends—nothing more. In essence, that was the truth: Mary still weighed too heavily on my thoughts, and Joan wanted no part of a long distance relationship. In fact, when she arrived for Christmas, she reiterated this pretty clearly.

After settling in at home, I took Zeno’s suggestion and lit the fire and threw on Leon Redbone’s Christmas CD (not important information, but I add this to let you know that Zeno isn’t quite the misanthrope he portrays). Then, I thought I’d let Joan know that Brian, Kristin, and Kristin’s boyfriend Mark would be at my house at 8:30 on Christmas morning. Joan panicked. So we went shopping for Christmas breakfast the next day. Joan selected the menu: whipped cream and chocolate bread from Hannaford’s Market, along with orange juice and champagne. Not what I would have picked, but somehow Joan knew better than I. Little did I realize, but Joan was terrified about meeting my children. Joan also made sure I got her up early on Christmas day to get ready. I told her the kids wouldn’t mind if she rolled out of bed and threw on pajamas, but she wasn’t having any of that.

When the kids arrived on Christmas morning, Joan hugged each of them. (Even though I met Joan in Rhode Island, she’s from Texas originally, and after twenty years in Virginia and West Virginia, she has none of that Yankee reserve that I possess in abundance.) When she broke out the chocolate bread, whipped cream, and mimosas, she had won the kids over. Or at least I knew it. Joan wasn’t convinced. A few days later, though, when I talked to Kristin, she told me she thought Joan was “fantastic.” High praise for Kristin is usually “okay” or “fine” (Did I tell you she also inherited features of my personality?). Brian thought Joan was perfect, appealing to his stomach and Kristin’s tendency to enjoy a drink now and then. I knew the kids had liked the “random woman” just fine. Well, one family down and one to go.

We were having Christmas dinner with my mom, Kevin, my brother, and my sister-in-law, Holly, along with my two nephews, a family friend of my brother’s, and Holly’s cousin. I should probably point out that Holly is the family’s designated detective. When no one else will ask me anything, Holly is designated to mine for information. (Mine she did, but she had to wait until I returned from WV.) When I told Holly that Joan would be coming for Christmas dinner a few weeks earlier, I mentioned that Joan would eat anything but pork. Holly said that she wouldn’t be serving pork but that she would be sure to next time if she didn’t like Joan.

Joan was much more relaxed than earlier in the day. Holly and Kevin had bought Joan a gift wrapped in Chanukah paper, and my mom had also bought something for her. Joan was touched by their thoughtfulness as was I. My mom also restrained herself, which I expected, but I was also expecting an embarrassing question or two, such as “Do you think Johnny would move to West Virginia?” (I’m “Johnny” in my family as Joan learned.) Later, Joan met my other brother and his family.

We spent the rest of the week out and around, but Joan still had to make it through dinner at my mom’s, just the three of us. Again, my mother showed commendable restraint. She seemed to like Joan, and paid her a high compliment. I reminded my mother that Joan had her Ph.D. and was also a professor. My mom forgets now and then what I’ve told her; in fact, before Joan arrived, she had asked me at least six times whether Joan had been married. Later, my mother would tell me, “Joan doesn’t act like she is smart.” I assured Joan that was indeed a compliment from my mom.

I’ll tell you about one other incident. The day before we left for West Virginia, I stopped at the local convenience store for gas. Joan waited in the car, and after paying, I wished the manager and the clerks a happy new year. I told them I’d see them in a couple weeks, and they asked what I was doing. I told them I was driving a friend to WV and would spend a couple weeks there. They asked if she were a girlfriend, and I said, “No. Just a friend.” When I got back in the car, I told Joan what I had said. She looked crestfallen. Later that night we stooped for coffee in Providence, and we met an acquaintance of mine. I introduced Joan as my girlfriend and glanced over at her for a reaction. She knew what I was up to, but she didn’t let on. (Just to set things straight, I wouldn’t normally do this. I always introduced Mary as simply Mary.) Still, I think we both knew at this point that something had changed.

We left on New Year’s Eve for West Virginia. I even drank one and a third beers, which I had ordered from room service, and once again, for perhaps the fifth or sixth straight year, I failed to make it to midnight. Ah, well, I am getting into geezerhood. We spent two weeks together at Joan’s home, rising early in the morning for coffee, talking, watching a few movies, and pretty much spending the break relaxing. It was wonderful. I stayed for Joan’s birthday, and we enjoyed a lovely evening celebrating. I was glad I could be there.

And just so you know, we have now entered into a long distance relationship. Fortunately, since we’re both college teachers, we have a lot of time off. Eight hundred miles now seems like a very short trip.

[diebitter]

This made me feel like I feel when I watch singin in the rain, and it gets to the point where Gene Kelly is smiling upwards while the rain falls on his face.

Wonderful.

[ClassicBob]

Excellent post, John.

[katyseagull]

Oh John Cole, that is wonderful! I'm so happy for you.

[The X-Factor]

Very nice sir. I enjoy your posts very much.

X

[Dominic]

very nice, John. I'm in the middle of a long-distance thing myself right now and it's driving me crazy. As there's no possibility of me or her moving in the near future, do you recommend just letting things simmer for a while? How often did you talk with Joan before this trip? Every day? Once a week? I'm torn between trying to force the issue into a "relationship" and just letting things simmer for a year or so and see what happens.

Anyway, great story and I'm always thrilled to hear about someone falling in love (which you most definitely are).

[dcasper70]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm in the middle of a long-distance thing myself right now and it's driving me crazy. As there's no possibility of me or her moving in the near future...

[/ QUOTE ]
So you and Tennenbaum finally stepped it up????

jk, unless I'm on to something... [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm in the middle of a long-distance thing myself right now and it's driving me crazy. As there's no possibility of me or her moving in the near future...

[/ QUOTE ]
So you and Tennenbaum finally stepped it up????

jk, unless I'm on to something... [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL...no, Tenn can do way better than me! This is someone else (although they live near one another, strangle enough!)

[MrWookie]

This was a pleasure to read. Thanks.

[Zeno]

Wonderful post and reading it was like enjoying the fresh smell of the air after a spring shower. I am happy for you John.

-Zeno