Brag: Got To Bang With No Jimmy Hat

[HugItOut BIITCH]

Brag: Got to f^^k with no jimmy hat and made a direct deposit inside girlfriend.
Beat: No money for morning after/Plan B pill.
Variance: Girlfriend did not have bad reaction to pill. Pregnancy STILL possible: hasn’t had period yet.

I took my last final for my 7th semester of high school. I am now a second term senior. (More BBV4Life stories will definitely come of my shenanigans and tomfoolery from this semester.)

After I took the final, I met up with my girlfriend and we went back to my place. We f^^ked three times and then went out to eat. She wanted more but my c^^k was dead at this point.

We ate and came back to my house again. We were on my couch watching TV and we begin f^^king again. (Side note: I’ve been seeing this girl for about 5 months now and we’ve been having sex for the last 3.5, but I’ve rarely used condoms because we both hate them. I hate them so fu.cking much that I went to school to get a whole lot of them for free despite the embarrassment of dealing with a teacher giving me them and asking if I need directions. I have a large pile of condoms in some drawer that will most likely not get used)

Anyway, it began on the couch and then moved to the floor. My girlfriend and I are nearing the peak of excitement so I don’t want to stop to pull out and for her not to cum. However, in my “oh sh.it I’m gonna bust a nut” thought process at the time, I really could care less about the consequence of shooting my load in her. Sure enough, I do. After we both came, I soon realized what the f^^k I had done.

She soon realized what happened. I called up my pediatrician, this Israeli dude, and lied and told him that the condom broke and asked him for a prescription for the Morning After pill (because she’s 17 she needs the Rx, 18 you get it over the counter). He tells me that she should call her OB/GYN and that there are various douches you can use to reduce pregnancy. The funny part is, I looked it up, douching reduces pregnancy by about 15-25%. Thanks doctor. You’re a Godsend.

She tells me she can’t call her OB/GYN because an Rx will show up on her insurance and her parents will disown her. So I actually thought of a brilliant idea: PLANNED PARENTHOOD.

We call up. They tell us its 30 bucks for the pill. (They could care less that she was 17 and not 18). Combined dollar amount between the two of us: $15.

F^^K!

I call up my dad. He gives me his password for Chase Online Banking. I transfer $40 from his account to mine. I drive my girlfriend over to Planned Parenthood. I take her upstairs. I go back downstairs to withdraw money from the ATM. My balance: $8.31. WHERE THE F^^K IS MY F^^KING MONEY?

After waiting an additional 20 minutes to see if the transfer went through, I tried to withdraw once more. Same shi.tty result. I call up Chase Bank and get transferred to some representative in Texas. (I couldn’t go see someone at the Bank, I was withdrawing from a non-Chase bank) After going through some formalities, she tells me the transfer is pending. I asked her if she could speed it up, and she told me that its entirely controlled by computer processing. I told her that it was a matter of life/ruining my own future and no life/preserving my own future. She said she understood, but still could not help me. I told her, “thanks a lot. If I have a kid cause of you I’m naming it Chase and I’ll expect child support payments to be prompt” and hung up.

My dad is now home. I told him that the transfer didn’t go through. I drove back to my house, got money and had to rush back to this place before 5 PM because the computers shut down and they couldn’t make the sale. I had 10 minutes to move my ass about 7 miles. Its approaching rush hour and the local streets are filled with many cars. I park my car, feed the meter, and run as fast as I f^^king can. I group of black kids say, “look at this cracker run. Run cracka run!” These dumb retards probably don’t even know that [censored] is from Forest Gump. And if they actually saw the movie, the probably didn’t even know about most of the historical events which took place in the movie. Anyway, I managed to make it on time.

I pay for the pill, get some more, free jimmy hats I won’t end up using, and bounce.

I get back home, and my mom is there. My dad left for a little bit. My mother starts talking to my girlfriend and tells her there is nothing to be ashamed of: “Accidents happen.” I wonder how pissed my parents would be if I told them I didn’t use a condom. My girlfriend laughs because she was pretty upset the whole ride home.

I drop my girlfriend off back at school to get on a bus that takes her directly to her house. It was quite an adventurous day.

Beats to follow this day:
Beat: Got woken up at 8:30 AM because she had to take the 2nd pill 12 hours after the first one
Beat: Was told we have to use a condom from start till finish now. F^^K!

I did my best not to sound pissed at 8:30 AM during the first morning of my vacation and did not argue about the condoms because, unfortunately, it is the smart thing to do.

I went over to her house the next day and things went as they normally do. As we’re about to get started I reach for my party (pooper) hat and she says don’t worry about it.

BALLIIIIIIIING!!!!

Brag: Despite nearly knocking up girlfriend, I am still not forced to using a jimmy hat.
Brag: I pulled out and nutted on her ass after banging her doggie.
Variance: Pre-cum can still get women pregnant.

All is pretty good within this relationship and I’ve determined that regardless if she nearly reaches orgasm, I’m pulling out and busting.

Hope you enjoyed the story.

[David LoPan]

in b4 lock

[Gamboholik]

pics

[HugItOut BIITCH]

Are you dumb? You think my girlfriend is gonna let me take pics of this? Clearly, why you get no poon.

Moron.

[Gamboholik]

Im the moron? lol hope you enjoy taking care of those kids with your $8.31 bank account.

[HugItOut BIITCH]

Dude, I'm 17. I go to high school. I don't work. I have sex. Meanwhile, you're probably jerkin you gerkin right now. Enjoy reading more of MY LIFE and of my interesting BBV4Life. You can hate, but I would advise you to get some poon.

You're probably beating it to that girl shaking her as.s in your avatar picture.

[Ribsauce]

[ QUOTE ]
Its approaching rush hour and the local streets are filled with many cars. I park my car, feed the meter, and run as fast as I fuc.cking can. I group of black kids say, “look at this cracker run. Run cracka run!” These dumb retards probably don’t even know that [censored] is from Forest Gump. And if they actually saw the movie, the probably didn’t even know about most of the historical events which took place in the movie. Anyway, I managed to make it on time.

[/ QUOTE ]lololololololololoolololooooo

[onthebutton]

ahyachahahahachahahccha@!

I'm AIDS, nice to meet you [censored].

PS--I [censored] her too, but I wore a jimmy.

[boomshakalaka]

hah this happened with my ex one time..

beat: I kinda freaked out right after it happened just just got up and left saying "uhh I have to go". Also she told me later that a split second after it happened she heard an audible *gulp* from me. She was not very happy wiht me.

brag: I didnt pay for hte morning after pill, didnt go with to palnned parent hood, and she didnt get prego. Also she got on the pill ftw.

variance: nutting in a girl is a bit overrated. Its so much more fun making a mess. When you have to pull out, you have an excuse to do all sorts of fun [censored]. Such ass facials, tit shots, or just stuffing it in her mouth and finishing that way. Furthermore, pulling out to nut when hittin it from the back is the best, cuz you can test your distance. Small of hte back meh, shoulder blades is ballin, hitting the head gives you crazy bragging rights amongst the freinds.

[the machine]

hmmmm OP, i think im gonna go out on a limb here and say, you suck.

wrap it up moran. and youre in high school. def not a brag.

and also tl;dr


PS great first post, errrmmmm the first 2 paragraphs