Parenting tips

gharp · #1 01-29-2007, 02:55 PM

So with all the new kids showing up around here I thought it might be useful to start a thread where we share/discuss parenting tips and advice. I realize there's countless books and websites on the subject, but maybe there's some things you've picked up along the way that helped you out or got you over a rough hurdle. And we could ask each other questions to see how other people are dealing with all the little issues that come up.

So here's an example. Our first son was a pretty difficult baby, I don't think he had colic but he seemed to cry all the time. We found that when we sat on an exercise ball (here's a pic if you haven't seen one):

and gently bounced up and down, it would instantly sooth him. In the end, we decided that we probably did this too much (we should've let him cry more) and we haven't done it at all for the second baby. But as first-time parents, it sure was nice to know that we had that one way to always settle him down.

Anyone else got any good tips, or questions for other fellow parents?

Wynton · #2 01-29-2007, 02:59 PM

This seems like a good idea for a thread. I'll offer a few, very quick ideas off the top of my head.

Two very important things my wife and I did right:

(1) We did not get into the habit of letting our kids sleep in our bed when they were babies. Non-parents might be surprised how many parents fall into this trap, and how problematic that can be.

(2) We read to our kids religiously when putting them to bed, way before they could read themselves. I am convinced that this put them on the path to becoming strong readers at an early age.

diebitter · #3 01-29-2007, 05:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]

(2) We read to our kids religiously when putting them to bed, way before they could read themselves. I am convinced that this put them on the path to becoming strong readers at an early age.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the advice I was going to post when I saw the title! This is indeed extremely important. The earlier they read independently, the better their imagination seems to be too. I have done this with all my children. My 7 year old just read the first 4 Harry Potter books in about 10 days!

diebitter · #4 01-29-2007, 05:23 PM

1) I'd advise anyone to use dummies. I've raised 3, and 2 had dummies, 1 didn't (our youngest). It's proviing really difficult to get her to stop sucking her thumb, but with the older two, it was just a case of using bribery to get them to throw the dummy in the bin themselves (w/chocolate + sweees!)

2) If they are having bad dreams, tell them one particular toy they have scares away bad dreams, and put it in bed with them. This works pretty well.

gharp · #5 01-29-2007, 05:55 PM

[ QUOTE ]

(1) We did not get into the habit of letting our kids sleep in our bed when they were babies. Non-parents might be surprised how many parents fall into this trap, and how problematic that can be.

[/ QUOTE ]
On the subject of sleep, we basically did the Ferber method which was pretty damn hard to endure, but in the end seems to have worked wonders. We had to put up with hours of terrible crying when we moved our son to a crib and took away his pacifier, but he became a world-champion sleeper. He puts himself right to sleep at bedtime and never wakes up in the middle of the night.

[ QUOTE ]

(2) We read to our kids religiously when putting them to bed, way before they could read themselves. I am convinced that this put them on the path to becoming strong readers at an early age.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yup, we did this too and I hope it works out for us as well.

gharp · #6 01-29-2007, 05:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
1) I'd advise anyone to use dummies. I've raised 3, and 2 had dummies, 1 didn't (our youngest). It's proviing really difficult to get her to stop sucking her thumb, but with the older two, it was just a case of using bribery to get them to throw the dummy in the bin themselves (w/chocolate + sweees!)

[/ QUOTE ]
British --> American translation: I'm assuming Dummies = pacifiers, right?

My wife sucked her thumb until she was about 10. If it was at all socially acceptable, I think she'd still do it. I'm with you, I think pacifiers are better but she just thinks it's so darn cute if kids suck their thumb that she kind of encourages it. Luckily, neither of our kids has shown any real interest in it so far...

HoldingFolding · #7 01-29-2007, 09:29 PM

Aside from the reading aspect, I liked to make up stories for my daughters where they were the central characters and events took place in our neighbourhood. They seemed to really enjoy them & even now, a few years on, they recall particular episodes. I think something like this will help give them a sense of the power of imagination.

dcasper70 · #8 01-29-2007, 09:42 PM

I just give her to the nurse and they cart her back to the nursery.

Well it worked last night... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I'll be watching this thread closely...

jfk · #9 01-29-2007, 10:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
(1) We did not get into the habit of letting our kids sleep in our bed when they were babies. Non-parents might be surprised how many parents fall into this trap, and how problematic that can be.

[/ QUOTE ]

This choice is very dependent on cultural traditions and I'm not sure that there's a "best" way to do it. I know people with good judgement and well raised kids who've not spent a single night with the parents and some who have grade school aged kids who still sleep in the parental/family bed.

While I'd personally have difficulty with the latter choice it doesn't seem that either choice can lay claim to being superior. It is a very personal matter.

[ QUOTE ]
(2) We read to our kids religiously when putting them to bed, way before they could read themselves. I am convinced that this put them on the path to becoming strong readers at an early age.

[/ QUOTE ]

I believe Levitt addressed this in Freakanomics and found no correlation between reading to kids and later academic success. Reading to your kids is a treasured, memorable activity but it seems that it gets too much common sense credit. Yes, this flies in the face of common sense and long held wisdoms. If you've not read it, the parenting chapter in Freakanomics is eye opening.

The best parenting tip I can offer is not to become a parent until you've laid the financial foundation to do so. After that the rest largely takes care of itself.

Contrary to popular belief, you can raise a kid on common sense, rice, bananas and milk with plenty of unstructured play time at a public park in the mix. Five years later the schools take over and your influence nosedives.

Wynton · #10 01-29-2007, 10:21 PM

JFK,

Regarding having a kid spend time in bed: You can call this cultural, but I'll emphasize my personal experience. I know parents who got into this habit when their kids were babies, and they had an awful time trying to stop the practice, which they inevitably wanted to do. It is NOT FUN to have a 9 year old kid who has to go sleep in your own bed.

Regarding the reading: I've read Freakonomics and don't remember that part of the book. (Maybe I'm a poor reader?) In any event, I consider a love of reading inherently good. And I am sure that the early reading we did with our kids made it an ingrained habit. Now, my kids like reading.