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#1
12-21-2006, 03:12 PM
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Some Carmelo Memories (semi-long w/ cliffs notes)
after recently seeing carmelo anthony on tv punching a guy in the face, i started to think back to 2003, that glorious year when he played for syracuse university and brought us a national championship. i'm bored at work, so i thought i'd share some great stories about melo and the team with the fine people of OOT.
note: i know this information due to the fact that i was born and raised in syracuse, many friends went to SU, dated a dance team member, and know a few of the players. i can guarentee that all this info is nearly 100% factual. here goes... during carmelo's brief 1 year stay in syracuse, he had tons of hoes and booty calls. i mean, a lot. want an idea of how many? i know this girl who was in the sorority of tri delta. her "big sister" was this blond chick who was one of melo's said hoes. when melo wanted to get his dick wet, he'd call up this girl (or one of many others). first time he banged her was in her dorm room. after he's done, he opens the door to leave, turns around, and says, "yo bitch, how does it feel to be number 89?" the second story isn't a secret on the campus of SU. most people know it and is almost considered common knowledge. so carmelo is basically considered a god on campus, and he's up to his old tricks of bangin every girl he meets. one night, he meets a girl, they go back to her place, and he ends up [censored] her in the ass. long story short, he goes too hard and literally splits this girls ass in half. she lost a lot of blood, and ended up having to go to the ER for emergency anal surgery. final story was told to me by a friend on the team. SU wins the championship and pandemonium broke out in syracuse. riots, you name it. the town is just elated and is probably the best thing to happen to syracuse in...well, ever. the entire team ended up going to a club to celebrate with all the fans. before i proceed, i should mention kueth duany, a starter who's straight from sudan:  anyway, kueth's at the club, hanging with some people, when this chick comes up to him and starts dancing with him. this skank then leads him into the bathroom and gives him head in a stall. end of story, right? wrong...a few days later, she sees kueth signing autographs in the mall. she comes up and talks to him, but he gives her an attitude like, who the [censored] is this? she goes, "kueth, don't you remember me from the other night at the club? i'm the one who gave you head in the stall." it turns out it wasn't even kueth who she gave head to. it was actually his brother, duany duany (and yes, his first name is duany), pictured here:  cliff's notes: if you are a basketball player on a championship team, you will most likely get a lot of ass. 
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#3
12-21-2006, 03:22 PM
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Re: Some Carmelo Memories (semi-long w/ cliffs notes)
Apparently after some big game Dikembe Mutombo walked into this bar my buddy was at, put his hands up and yelled "WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO"
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#6
12-21-2006, 03:52 PM
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Re: Some Carmelo Memories (semi-long w/ cliffs notes)
[ QUOTE ]
the second story isn't a secret on the campus of SU. most people know it and is almost considered common knowledge. so carmelo is basically considered a god on campus, and he's up to his old tricks of bangin every girl he meets. one night, he meets a girl, they go back to her place, and he ends up [censored] her in the ass. long story short, he goes too hard and literally splits this girls ass in half. she lost a lot of blood, and ended up having to go to the ER for emergency anal surgery. [/ QUOTE ] I have to laugh imagining the waves of embellishments lavished on this story as it passed from student to student.
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#7
12-21-2006, 03:59 PM
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Re: Some Carmelo Memories (semi-long w/ cliffs notes)
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] the second story isn't a secret on the campus of SU. most people know it and is almost considered common knowledge. so carmelo is basically considered a god on campus, and he's up to his old tricks of bangin every girl he meets. one night, he meets a girl, they go back to her place, and he ends up [censored] her in the ass. long story short, he goes too hard and literally splits this girls ass in half. she lost a lot of blood, and ended up having to go to the ER for emergency anal surgery. [/ QUOTE ] I have to laugh imagining the waves of embellishments lavished on this story as it passed from student to student. [/ QUOTE ] I'm calling urban legend, because we have the same story at Boston College with regards to our former quarterback Quinton Porter. I sincerely doubt that every major athlete has accomplished this feat.
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#8
12-21-2006, 04:04 PM
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Re: Some Carmelo Memories (semi-long w/ cliffs notes)
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] the second story isn't a secret on the campus of SU. most people know it and is almost considered common knowledge. so carmelo is basically considered a god on campus, and he's up to his old tricks of bangin every girl he meets. one night, he meets a girl, they go back to her place, and he ends up [censored] her in the ass. long story short, he goes too hard and literally splits this girls ass in half. she lost a lot of blood, and ended up having to go to the ER for emergency anal surgery. [/ QUOTE ] I have to laugh imagining the waves of embellishments lavished on this story as it passed from student to student. [/ QUOTE ] I'm calling urban legend, because we have the same story at Boston College with regards to our former quarterback Quinton Porter. I sincerely doubt that every major athlete has accomplished this feat. [/ QUOTE ] Supposedly Huey Newton did this to Bobby Seale as a little sendoff present when he kicked him out of the Black Panthers. Surgery and all.
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#10
12-21-2006, 04:07 PM
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Re: Some Carmelo Memories (semi-long w/ cliffs notes)
[ QUOTE ]
Or, we can just accept the premise that all black athletes have abnormally large genitalia. [/ QUOTE ] My guess is that most 6'8" 230lb men have abnormally large genitalia regardless of their race. Not that I've spent time thinking about their dongs or anything....
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