My first BBV, poop on my pants

[amachur]

Hello all, I am a first time poster and long time lurker. I am currently in a predicament that is, well $hitty to say the least. I arrived at the office this morning after a long night ending with my girlfriend of 1 and 1/2 years breaking up w/ me. About a half hour into my day the urge to take a dump overwhelmed me, so I proceeded to do something horrendous in the bathroom. Another thirty minutes later I am walking around the office when a co-worker tells me that I have something on the back of my pants. I turn around and there is dookie ALL OVER THE BACK OF MY PANTS. I do not understand how it made it there, but it is definitely there. I proceeded to play it cool and casually walk to the bathroom like I had no idea what it could be, where I then vigorously scrubbed my pants. I then head back to my cubicle where I see my chair, and it is not pretty. I am completely baffled, I do not understand how it got on my pants, they were at my ankles when I dropped the bomb. It doesn't smell like mine either, it smells like dog dookie. There was a dog roaming around here after I left the office on Friday, and I was groggy when I came in this morning, and I just sat down without looking. What do you make of this BBV? I am stuck here for at least two more hours, I am ready to crawl in a hole and die. Not to mention the whole woman thing. Now enjoy yourselves at my expense.

Beat: Crap on my pants and at least one person saw it.
Brag: Uh, not as many people saw it as I would have expected.
Variance: I am single and depressed.

[fslexcduck]

hahahahaha awesome.

thanks.

[DING-DONG YO]

WTF already? Go home d00d.

[tomdemaine]

Post a photo on BBV for $10 obv.

[illuminati]

lmao wtf

go the f home

[cheer]

good way to start your BBV posts.

poopie pants.

[amachur]

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lmao wtf

go the f home

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This is a definite no go, it will give away the fact that it was surely crap on my pants. This will only guarantee that the rumor mill starts turning, I do not need my new BBV rep to be my office rep as well.

[DING-DONG YO]

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lmao wtf

go the f home

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This is a definite no go, it will give away the fact that it was surely crap on my pants. This will only guarantee that the rumor mill starts turning, I do not need my new BBV rep to be my office rep as well.

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So it doesn't stink? Maybe it's not poop? I would think that if you had [censored] smeared all into your chair and pants that it would reek to high heaven.

Also, is it in your underwear or just on the outside of your pants? If just the outside, sounds like someone may be playing a little jpke on you.

Poop detectives unite!!

[danzasmack]

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lmao wtf

go the f home

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This is a definite no go, it will give away the fact that it was surely crap on my pants. This will only guarantee that the rumor mill starts turning, I do not need my new BBV rep to be my office rep as well.

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yeah but smelling like dog [censored] won't...

The clear answer is to switch chairs with someone near you. Somebody you hate. Wait until they go to lunch.

Unless you work in finance. Then just say "yeah man, I've been working so hard I haven't even had the chance to take a dump! Look, I just crapped on my seat and have been standing up." everybody will start crapping on their seat, and then a market will develope. Learn to price it, and you'll be a millionare.

Good Luck,

Sir danz

[amachur]

It doesn't reek terribly, but I have a very weak sense of smell. It was only on the outside of my pants and in the chair. It really does kinda smell like dog crap though. I am completely baffled.