The problem I'm having with women (long)

[Coffee]

First of all, yes, I'm aware I should just sack up and ask someone out. Thanks.

Second of all, I apologize for another girl post in OOT...but I hope this one is a bit unique.

Okay.

I have been single for a little over a year. I have been on four first dates in that period, but have not had any physical romantic contact in since late 2004. I must confess that my prolonged singlehood is beginning to be tiresome, but I can confidently say that I am not still getting over my ex.

Something has happened to me, though, that I don't exactly know how to deal with:

I think I'm disgusted with women.

I don't mean that I'm coming out of the closet. What I mean is that I cannot stop being attracted to women, but at the same time, I am largely disgusted by the habits and activities of most women. Outside of my friends who are women(and not single), my perception of women is that of vain, vapid creatures without a shred of reliability. I don't know if it's just been a run of bad luck, or that I mistakenly thought I had a decent amount of game, or something else...but it boils down to the fact that, as much as I would like to ask someone out, hook up with them, and begin dating them, I despise the very notion of associating with them in that regard, because I don't have the slightest indication in my head that they can be trusted to even return my phone calls. At some point, girls who I would potentially date ceased to be humans to me, and are now soulless, self-involved cyborgs with human skin on the outside.

So...outside of sack up/SIISomeone'sP...what do I do? I used to be a Nice Guy, and all that. I think I've morphed into Angry and Bitter Guy...and it worries me, because he NEVER gets dates, and only gets angrier about it as time goes by(which is happening to me). So how do I get over this distaste? Because, the truth is, despite me being reasonably handsome, intelligent, and funny, I think this vibe is just pulsing off of me right now, and I may as well start dropping a deuce in front of most dateable women.

On a side note, this is a softball pitch for flames, and I expect them, so go right ahead. Sad as it would seem, I gotta let some of this stuff go...the flames are just part of the price.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
I think I'm disgusted with women.


[/ QUOTE ]

Get happier with yourself, and some of this will go away. Also, meet more people or different kinds of people.

And dont' take things so hard or so seriously. If you're already at the stage of demanding trust when you're on a first date, and worried if they're trustworthy to ... return a phone call? ... you're putting too much into too little. Put out less effort and drama and the exchange won't seem so one-sided. Give people more as they seem to deserve it. Don't mistake your desires for their obligations to you.

[goofyballer]

See a psychologist?

And then let me know if it helps, cause I'm kinda running into the same problem [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[man]

coffee,

bravo! seriously. this is one of the most excellent girl posts in a while.

my perception of women my age (I'm 21) is that they're self-absorbed. but the thing is that they are at a time in their lives where, well, it pays to be self-absorbed. you have to accept that, as with you, their stage of life is shaping them to be selfish.

I recommend that you look for activities where you'll run into girls that aren't complete shames to the human race. volunteer work draws pretty decent (though usually taken) women.

[cjmewett]

coffee -- how old are you?

[whiskeytown]

I've been struggling with angry and bitter for a while now - but mostly in the same boat - and nothing serious since I quit drinking. This redhead I was supposed to start things up with dragged me out till I got disgusted with her, so I know what ya mean.

I decided to write an album of stuff in a month and focus more on poker - take a few weeks off and see what a new view brings - no need to be in a serious relationship right now -

hell - join Myspace - I'm sure there's a few girls on there looking for a no strings attached valentine's day date [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

RB

[The Truth]

Most girls are exactly as you describe. You should be the one not returning phone calls, not them. You shouldn't be not returning phone calls just to do it, but instead you should be busy/not care enough that you just don't.

Although alot of girls are as you describe, that does not make them disgusting or not cool. If you are failing to get dates or getting shot down, it doesn't mean the girl is a bitch. Review yourself first, not the girl. Don't let it hurt your self esteem if you can, but realize the negatives in yourself, and use this analysis to make yourself more attractive to women. If that is your thing.

I think if you SIIHP you'll get over this.

blake

[Blarg]

This man speaks the truth.

Women get much nicer and more together with a few years on them.

And you'll always have a better chance of finding a good one if you already share interests. This works especially well with young people because few of them have any substantial interests outside of themselves. Of course this is harder if there's nothing besides yourself that you're interested in either, in which case, you have no room to complain about anyone else.

[Phil153]

People worth knowing are few and far between. This is even more true for women. Get out as much as possible, meet people, be friendly, eventually you'll find people who think like you do.

[zephed]

[ QUOTE ]
I despise the very notion of associating with them in that regard, because I don't have the slightest indication in my head that they can be trusted to even return my phone calls.

[/ QUOTE ]
This seems like a really weird comment. Is this an issue with just new women you meet? Or ones you have gone out with for awhile?

They are probably just too lame/weak to tell you to your face they don't like you, so they try to ignore you hoping you get the hint. I wouldn't take it personally. Just move on and keep trying.

The other possibility is that you are a crazy stalker and they are weirded out. One of the two.