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#1
11-08-2006, 09:19 AM
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Brainless crimes of youth
The summer before 9th grade, my friend Joe somehow cons me into joining him in a shoplifting plot at a nearby mall. His mom drops us off at the mall (this is always classic, what sort of masterminds were we when his mom had to drop us off and pick us up at the mall). The operation went down like this: Joe and I would roll into a well-known department store, and go to the Young Men's dept., where they sell brand-name clothing for teenagers. We would browse the selection and pick out a few high-priced items that didn't have ink-explosion security or other obvious theft deterrants, such as Billabong surfing trunks (expensive in 98!), some jeans, more shorts, and a few shirts from companies like Mossimo, Stussy, etc. Joe would ask for a fitting room, where he promptly tried on several of the store's items. He pulled the infamous ploy of leaving the unpaid attire on underneath his original clothing, and walked out still clutching a few articles (a couple shirts, a pair of shorts, the jeans) so that it would appear he wasn't interested in any of the things he tried on (this apparently was also before the times of workers identifying exactly how many garments you are taking into the fitting rooms and giving you some sort of card identifying this number). We walked out of the store with no alarms ringing and no suspicion. We would bop around the mall and Joe would go change out of the stolen garments in the food court bathroom.
This is where the plan goes beyond stupid and becomes ridiculous.We would wait for a while, maybe an hour or two, and come BACK into the same section of the same store, brazenly carrying our freshly stolen goods. We would walk right up to the register, and Joe would unravel a story about how his grandma gave him these clothes, but he didn't like them, and he would like to return them. The worker would instantly ask for a receipt, to which Joe would sadly shake his head and say that he recieved them as a present and didn't have one. The worker would then inspect the clothing, observe that they were in brand new condition as well as having tags still attached. Under these conditions, the store must offer store credit. She offered the store credit in the total value of the articles of clothing we had stolen from them an hour ago and were now returning(trunks, two shirts approx. $85), which we gladly took in the form of a paper voucher. Mwahaha. Repeat this exact same process again about 4-5 hours later, hopefully as worker's change shifts from day to evening. Now we're clutching two vouchers for store credit, worth in total about $150. Went upstairs to Watches & Jewelry, where Joe cashed in for a sweet G-Shock watch. Ship it crucial. Except for me. I was an accomplice to this debacle and didn't earn anything. My reward was somehow not getting caught. Man I was an idiot. Post your own ridiculous attempts at great success where you surely should have been burned. Plans, that in retrospect, force you to shake your head in disbelief. 
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#2
11-08-2006, 09:56 AM
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Re: Brainless crimes of youth
roommate in college said he used to go to walmart, and throw norelco razors over the fence in the gardening section. he would then drive around and pick them up.
next day return them all, do the store credit thing, and get some [censored] like stereo equipment or something.
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#3
11-08-2006, 10:33 AM
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Re: Brainless crimes of youth
your store credit scam is actually brilliant
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#5
11-08-2006, 11:21 AM
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Re: Brainless crimes of youth
[ QUOTE ]
It would be more brilliant if you didnt go to the same stopre 4 hours later. [/ QUOTE ] How can it be more brilliant then "Working perfectly with a very quick turnaround"? I'm really surprised that stores haven't found away around this, like at least asking for ID or something, I dunno, because this has been going on for a long time. All the stupid stuff I did as a kid was far worse, because I rarely recieved any personal gain from it, just messing other people's [censored] up. [censored] stupid kid.
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#8
11-08-2006, 12:00 PM
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Re: Brainless crimes of youth
Long story short...
Grew up in a real small town... friend's 13th birthday party... 7 twelve to thirteen year-olds sneak out of friend's house... waged havoc on our town with the usual stuff (t.p., shaving cream, eggs). Night topped off by throwing firecrackers at cars at 2:00 in the morning. We hit a cop car with firecrackers as it drives by at 2:30AM. 7 twelve to thirteen year-olds get caught and taken down to the police station. No charges ever filed, but parents were not amused. Good times!
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#10
11-08-2006, 12:25 PM
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Re: Brainless crimes of youth
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] where Joe cashed in for a sweet G-Shock watch [/ QUOTE ] complete and utter story ruiner. you're a teen, go buy some blow, not a stupid gshock. [/ QUOTE ] WOw, I didn't know they actually sold blow in department stores...
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